CLASH - Mildred Ratched

Chapter 21 - Pleasure

[Mature Content]

Walking inside of her house, you felt like you were an intruder. This never happened before, it felt cozy when you step into Cordelia's house but now it's so different. Looking around, you saw Cordelia saying something to Wilhemina. The look in her eyes gave it away, filled with confusion and nervousness.

"I found her at the market", you heard Wilhemina say.

"Why is she here then?", Cordelia asked, her voice getting shaky.

"I explained to her everything but at the middle of our conversation she started to tear up...", her voice became too quiet for you to understand so you just sat on the couch waiting for them to finish talking.

Hearing a sigh from Cordelia, she walked away and went upstairs leaving you again with Wilhemina. "Do you need a moment alone?", she asked, you shake your head. Nodding at your response, she sat down with you but leaving a small gap.

"I'm sorry for talking about it like it's just a random story. I didn't mean to make you feel hurt", she apologized which you automatically snapped up to her.

"Are you apologizing?", you asked, shocked about the sudden tone of the redhead. In fact, it's rare to see her admitting and especially muttering an apology.

"Obviously", she sarcastically said, a small smile went on your face.

It helped you a little bit to calm down, but still the uneasiness is still there. It felt like there is something keeping you from being free. "I still want to know everything", you said breaking the silence.

"Are you sure?", she asked which you just nodded.

"Where was I...Oh, right— we met at work and..", she stopped, looking at you. You raised your eyebrows for her to continue, "At first, we're hesitant to tak about our feelings but soon enough, Cordelia confessed her feelings to me—", the way her eyes lit up by just saying her name. Wilhemina is definitely in love. "—But then we we're scared about you..y–your reaction and how would you feel to see your most trusted friend having a relationship with your ex is just not right to us", she finished.

"But how does it feel now?", you softly asked and for a moment she just looked at you like a lost deer but then she open her mouth. "I felt relieved and free, but not entirely free because there's still a tiny part of me that is keeping you inside the back of my mind", she whispered, eyes starting to get teary.

She can also feel it. The thought of saying the words that will free the both of you from hurting deep inside seems scary to you because you're afraid to let her go. You don't know how you would describe it. It's not that you want her to be gone from your life, the truth is you want to start clean fresh. All you want for the both of you is to have the freedom to do anything without thinking of each other's feeling whether someone will get jealous and mad when they fall in love with another person.

It's not easy to let go of your feelings for someone especially since she's your first. First in everthing, she made you realize all things, made you happy and made you experience for the first time so no, you won't shoved her away.

I just want peace and to feel contended. She still have a special place in my heart and will always be.

"Me too..", you breathed out. She looked at you, "Feel what?", she asked. Taking her hands, you caressed it, missing the feeling of her fingers against yours. "The feeling of something keeping you from being free", you said as you looked up to her flashing a sad smile.