eyes of the mind

chapter 17

It's been months.

The end of the school year is near, the flowers in bloom proving spring is here.

Things between the group have been good, Landon and Carol have been going strong. Brock has been a bit of a player lately. August ... well I haven't been seeing much of him.

From what I have heard and observed they have been going through muddy waters.

I think he might've found out about their arranged relationship. He got mad, she got sad but they worked through it.

But from what I have seen he was flirting with every girl to make Bianca mad, they would have a screaming match in the hall and then a rumor circulates that they are fucking in bathroom stalls.

I have been staying in my own lane, working and hanging out with Brian.

He was nice, mellow, he checked me on my shit. He also introduced me to his boyfriend who I also became close with.

The romance in my life isn't the best and I don't know if it can get any better.

—

As I am smoking at the stoner bleachers I hear yelling, which led me to hide behind some poles.

"YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE,  NOT LIKE YOU LOVED HER" screamed Bianca.

Her words were responded with silence.

Then that followed with her sobbing.

"YOU THINK I DONT KNOW WHERE YOUR MIND GOES! You love her, I see it in your eyes every time she is mentioned. Every time she's around you get tensed up, more touchy but emotionally distant" she goes on.

"You can't keep torturing us like this. You can't keep punishing me for her hating you, for not chasing after you. Because it seems like I can't be the person to fill that void in your heart" she whispers.

"Why not?" August replies saddened.

"You don't think I've heard the rumors? August fucks this girl in the bathroom. August flirted with Jess and then makes out with her in front of everyone. And you know what's funny?" she asks him.

"What's that?" August says while lighting up a cigarette.

"I genuinely think Lavender was the only girl you were loyal to. The only girl you were truly in love with. But your walls got so high she couldn't destroy them. She couldn't fix you the way you wanted her to. And that was a deal breaker" Bianca says quietly.

Silence.

Nothing but the sobs of Bianca and the exhales of August.

"I think I loved you, but it's hard loving someone who is emotionally unavailable, at least to me. We're done" Bianca says and then walks off.

I get up and dust myself off then walk around to be met with August.

So many changes of emotions in his eyes. Anger, hurt, sadness, regret, lust, and love.

"Is that true? Do you still love me? Are you still in love with me?" I ask while walking in front of him.

"The truth is everything she said. I pushed you away, but instead of you fighting for me, you just left" August says as he exhales.

"It's not your fault either, I should learn how to accept love and not think everyone is out to hurt me" August says as he puts out his cigarette.

"When did you start smoking cigs?" I question sitting down on the bench.

"Just a habit I picked up. I was stressed out all the time, stressed about where we stood. When you would talk to me" August says as he sits close to me.

"If I recall you turned all of our friends against me, told me to never speak to you again and let your girlfriends bully me into staying away from you" I say.

We look at each other. A conversation through our eyes. Both of us lost for words.

"I love you. I never once missed a beat in loving you" August says as he looks in my eyes.

I get up and stand in between his legs. I move the hair out of his face and kiss his forehead.

I move to kissing his cheek bones then onto his lips. It was soft and yearning on both ends.

We stop and I sit on his lap then go to whisper in his ear.

"You don't do that to the people you love" I say looking him in the eyes.

He looks taken back like that kiss fixed everything he's done. Like I would go back to him after he broke my heart so many times.

"I love you! What else do you need me to do to prove it to you?" August says as he grips my waist like I would disappear.

"Do you think you could truly love me? Trust me? Be loyal to me? Or is this because you like the chase? Because you had me and you lost me over miscommunication" I say.

"I want to settle down with you. Only you. It may seem like I'm playing games and I don't know what I want but YOU are what I want. YOU are what I need" August says looking me dead in the eyes.

"So what do you want from me?" I ask.

"To be with you. For you to be my girlfriend and for us to be together through thick and thin. To talk through the hard stuff and enjoy the easy stuff. To love and to grow with each other" August says while stroking my face.

"Are you sure" I double check that he's serious.

"With you I'm all in. I'm yours. I'm in it for the long haul" August says.

We stare at each other and then kiss.

A kiss full of love and happiness.

A kiss full of understanding and forgiveness.