Simulated Love (2024)

Chapter 19

Elijah

The apartment was quiet, too quiet. I'd returned from the airport, my heart bittersweet. On one end, I had space to figure out my feelings, feelings that had taken root too fast, too intensely. On the other end, I missed Chase, missed the way he'd filled the space with laughter, with his cuteness, with something I couldn't quite name.

I kicked off my shoes, the floor cold against my socks. The living room felt empty, devoid of the energy Chase had brought into it. The couch, where we'd watched movies together, seemed too big for just me. I sank onto it, staring at the coffee table.

As much as I tried to deny my feelings for him, I just couldn't. 

I'd fallen for him and with him gone, nothing felt the same.

I closed my eyes, replaying our moments, the late-night coding sessions, the way he'd brush his fingers against mine when we shared ideas, the warmth of his body on that couch. I'd been so focused on the game, on winning the competition, that I'd missed more quality time with Chase.

"Augh," I noised.

Going to work that Monday was even worse and it had set the tone for that entire week. I was back to my normal life, and it was ass.

The office was filled with excitement as I stepped through the glass doors. Colleagues clapped me on the back, balloons were all over, and there was a banned across my office entrance. 

"Congratulations, Elijah!" they said. "Can't wait to play the game!"

I thanked them all, but my mind was still stuck on Chase. I was so used to coming in with him that it just didn't feel right to be celebrating. 

As I settled into the office, I opened up my computer to get back to the normal program

I had already had a game review deadline. I was supposed to write about the latest indie gem I had played a while back. It was a puzzle adventure that promised magic and mystery. But how could I focus when my mind kept drifting to Chase?

I took a sip of my lukewarm coffee and started to type out my review. 

Well, I tried at least. I kept checking my phone, hoping from a text from Chase. 

After the 20th check, there was a message from him. 

He was telling me he made it home safe and I responded with, "Happy to hear that." He was probably already asleep, so I turned off my phone.

Tuesday, I stood by the office coffee machine, its gurgling sounds driving me insane. Maggie sidled up next to me. "You miss him?"

I nodded.

"This time difference stuff is annoying. He texts me, I'm sleep. I text him he's sleep. I had never done anything like this before. Then on top of everything, I'm supposed to live my normal life which isn't easy when all I can think about is Chase."

The coffee machine spat out my drink. I took a sip, the bitterness mirroring my emotions.

"You want to talk about what's on your mind."

I sighed. "I don't know, man. I do like Chase but I'm not sure if it's real. I feel like I'd fallen for him fast...too fast."

"That's love for you."

"But with my ex it took me at least three months before I realized I liked him. I had fallen for Chase in the span of two weeks. There's no way it's real."

"That's the thing, there are no rules to emotions. Who's to say you liking for Chase isn't real because it hasn't been that long? When you get stuck in your head, that's when you ruin things. Go with your heart. You like Chase, end of story."

"Yeah. You're right."

She smiled. "I know."

When Wednesday came, I stared at the game review draft that sat on my screen, which was just a jumble of half-formed sentences. I interviewed the developers and analyzed the mechanics, but the magic was missing. My fingers hovered over the keyboard. I had been an editor for years, but something felt different. My words were hollow. I glanced at the clock. It was almost time for lunch and I had a meeting to go to with Evan which I was not up for. 

I wondered what Chase was dreaming about. 

Thursday night had rolled around, and I was up later than normal. The game review was due tomorrow, and I'd rewritten it a dozen times. The words felt lifeless, like trying to describe a rainbow to someone who'd never seen colors. I typed a sentence, then deleted it.

Maybe I should call Chase.

My eyes scanned for one name on my phone, which was Chase's. It was around the time he had woken up. Had he messaged? Was he thinking of me too?

And then, as if the universe conspired to answer, my screen lit up with a text from Chase saying, "Good morning."

Without second thought, I called him. The call rang for a second before I heard Chase's voice.

"Elijah, you're up?"

"Yeah. I'm still working. How are you?"

"Good." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Better now that I get to talk to you before work."

I could feel my face heat up. "You're so cheesy it hurts."

We shared a laugh.

"So how's your work going?" He asked.

"Not good. I swear things just haven't been the same since you left. Before, I could write up fifty reviews in one shift on top of editing others'. Now I'm struggling to meet one deadline."

"Aw. That does suck but don't worry. You're the best reviewer I know. Why do you think you got so many fans."

"Yeah. I know."

"Do you know that I'm your biggest one?"

I rolled my eyes. It was towards him but more at myself for smiling at his cheesiness. "Chase, stop that shit."

We shared a laugh.

"Anyway, how has things been with you?"

"Not too bad. I got a new job."

My heart dropped into my stomach. "Wait, you left Hopeless Studios?"

"Oh no. I mean a second job. I am staying with Hopeless Studios, but I need the extra money. It's been hard paying for rent over here."

"Damn. Yeah. I was once in your shoes. What's the new job?"

"It's nothing spectacular. I'm just teaching natives English. The extra pay should be good."

"Don't worry. Once we win this competition, we will have enough money to kick-start our game and you won't have to worry about working a second job."

"I wish I could hug you right now. I'm smiling like crazy over here."

I was smiling like crazy too. "Me too."

He cleared his throat. "I don't want to hang up, but I have to go. Class starts in five."

"Ah okay. Thanks for the talk."

"No problem and good luck on your work. Don't think about it too much. You're a natural so do what you do best and get home and rest."

"Thank you, Chase."