Red Button Shenanigantery: The Youngest Professors

Already making steps forward

After a look around the pokémon center in the morning it suddenly occurred to us that Ash hadnt arrived there yet. Honestly we probably would have heard him the moment we arrived in town if he was here. Which means he was spending more time in the forest than we originally planned for. It was only five episodes before he got here, so shouldnt taking the shortest route two days later have us arrive here on the same day as them?
Did we misremember? This is going to bother me all day.
Either way business is business, and we have business to attend to. First things first, going over the paperwork with the mayor to purchase the large section of land from the city, transfer it to our control. I say all this as if its some normal thing, and something like this would have been weird in my previous life and now here I am in this transaction as a 10 year old.
How much were we planning on spending? Lets just say its on the level of buying a skyscraper. As I said before, we had a lot more income than expected and ideas from our world that aided in convenience or sped up the progression of technology by a few years turned out to be way more popular than one would assume.
The talks with the mayor were dull to say the least, I am pretty sure I just switched over to auto-pilot about halfway through, only paying attention to the paperwork to make sure we weren't being scammed. Missa had excused herself at one point to go occupy Vivi who was starting to get antsy. I don’t know what we expected from the mayor of the city famous for rocks but I do know that we were disappointed.
After the paperwork we were sent with a local police officer to tour the grounds of the land that we had purchased. They didn't seem too pleased about having to escort some kids around a giant plot of land in the wilderness but he didn’t outwardly complain.
Entertainingly, and improbably enough we did get to use a line that Missa had clearly been waiting for for far too long. As we arrived at the property and the officer started to process exactly what we had bought, he turned to look at us with a curious expression only to ask the fated question.
“Aren't you two a little young to be buying so much land?”
“Yes, yes we are.” replied Missa with a giggle and a grin.
“We’re professors and needed to secure a large area for our research, one that is uninhabited, and unlikely to see visitors.” I chimed in.
“Not doing anything shady are you?” The officer questioned though there was a tone of humor in his voice.
“Nothing of the sort, studying the effects of friendship and affection with pokémon, how the differentiate it, and identifying the potential connections with the evolution phenomenon. Don’t want people randomly wandering in and disrupting the pokémon thus skewing the data.”
“That is a lot of information, what did you say you two were again?”
“Professors, we were in the news a couple weeks ago, the youngest duo to ever pass the exams and defend their thesis against six separate famous professors who are top in their respective field.”
“So that was you two huh? Thats quite the achievement, but we should get moving, standing around too long is bound to attract a persian or something less fun to be around.” The officer concluded, gesturing for us to return to the jeep.
If he knew anything about our research or the pokémon we had with us he wouldn't be saying such things but admitting that we snuck a gengar into the meeting with the mayor is on the same level as sneaking in a firearm in our previous world. They don't need to be sensed in order to steal life force afterall.
In our defense we had forgotten it was there until it started tugging at Marissa’s socks out of boredom. Would have probably remembered if it had jumped out during the Vivi situation in the forest but apparently they decided that the problem was sufficiently handled and continued napping, or watching, or whatever it is they do while hiding in our shadows.
Either way, we climbed into the jeep and rode along the perimeter and judging by both the average speed and the amount of time it took, we got exactly what we had agreed to previously. And for quite a deal too, less than a tenth of the original listed price. Apparently between several corporations trying to buy the territory only to get chased out by the local pokémon becoming extremely aggressive, and them very publicly returning the property to Pewter, the city was struggling to save face in the theater of public opinion. Then along came two “adorable”, his words not mine, children who were at least nationally famous, that openly acknowledged the risks and previous failures but wanted the land anyway. With a little PR spin, they would be able to turn this into Pewter generously offering support to these budding professors as they start their careers, and with no strings attached.
I had been really concerned about how this was going to play out. Even though we had made plenty of money, almost all of it had been allotted to this purchase and we were staring down the barrel of having to do public sector work just to pay the bills afterward. But this surprising turn of events left us with enough money to continue to journey comfortably as our lab was constructed.
First we would have to get in contact with the pokémon of the area, establish friendly relations with them, get their approval to build just two buildings at the edge of the land and then fence in the rest to keep people out. They would not be trapped, they would be free to come and go as they wish, and if any pokémon wanted to help us with our research then they would of course be rewarded with minor pampering, easy food, and a safe place to sleep.
Maybe we could actually pull off the stupid idea we had discussed so many times before. But that would have to wait for fate to weigh in.
The end result of our appointment was a large portion of land secured, more money in our account than we originally expected, and the beginnings of a plan. Now we just made our way to the pokémon center, moving through the quiet streets of Pewter. There we asked Nurse Joy if Ash Ketchum had found his way to the center yet. She sadly shook her head no and confirmed what we had suspected, he didn't head straight for the city so he was spending extra time in the forest, probably hunting for pokémon.
She did share that she had confirmation from her sister several days ago that he had safely headed into the forest though. So yeah he was definitely hunting for pokémon. Knowing how loud and excitable he could be, it would be a while. So how are we going to pass time until he arrives?
Lounging around the center and contemplating our next step turned out to work in our favor as gengar got bored again and started wandering around the lobby only to stop on the poster for the indigo league. To be fair we had our pokémon licenses, a pokedex for each of us, and had a couple pokémon each… it wouldn't be out of the question to join the league just for fun as we study pokémon in our journey.
Or at least thats the excuse I will be using should Professor Oak ask, unless I come up with a better one before then.
Looking out the window the sun was still up though it was getting close to setting, so we still had time, I approached the front desk and called Nurse Joy over. Once she arrived I provided my best business smile and asked what came to mind.
“Would you be so kind as to register Missa and I for the Indigo League? We need a way to pass some time between research projects while waiting for Ash.”
“Oh, will you two be traveling with him? And it would be no problem, before you ask there are no restrictions against professors joining the league but do know that trainers will probably look down on you or treat the situation as insulting since you are doing this for fun.” She warned
“He doesn’t know about that yet, his mother asked us to keep an eye on him before we left town so we were just going to tag along and claim its part of our research journey. As for trainer aggression, duly noted, thank you for the warning.”
“Please place your pokedex in the slot and the registration will be complete, afterwards you will be provided with a badge case each.” Joy informed us but I had to make a bit of a face at the idea of registering with the pokedex.
“Ours are non-standard but this computer is capable of accepting calls so I assume its able to wirelessly receive data too?” I asked, hoping she would say yes.
“That it is, though that is a bit outside of standard protocol. Let’s just consider it a bit of special privilege for our young celebrities.” She added with a smile.
By now my smile had disappeared, as much as I liked being able to use the celebrity status to get myself out of things, I didn’t like the treatment it was getting us. At least wait until we put out the research before you treat us like we are special.
Missa suddenly stepped forward, taking over the situation and syncing her phone. In the blink of an eye she was registered and had already snatched up my phone, syncing it for the registration too. As always she could tell when I was getting frustrated and stepped in to separate me from the problem.
“Now you two are registered, best of luck to the both of you, and here are your badge cases.” She replied sliding two little boxes across the counter, they were around the same size as necklace jewelry boxes.
We should look into that market, there are thousands of designs from our world that coule be implemented or improved upon using pokémon.
Missa took the boxes and handed one to me, thanked Joy and ushered me out of the center.
“Gotta work on that anger of yours, your short fuse will get you treated like an electrode.” She teased while leading me down the road toward the gym.
“Better that than be treated like a pikachu and be fawned over for just existing.”
“Okay mr pangoro, lets go before your frown gets you mistaken for a gloom.” She added with a peck on the cheek before darting ahead. “First one there gets to challenge him first.”
Oh thats not fair, she has been more active than me so she is definitely more agile, and she got a head start, theres no way I’m going to win.
But genger will never let me live it down if I don’t at least try so I took off running after her, feet thudding down the road. It wasn't a long race, more of a sprint really, pokémon centers were never far from a gym just in case things didn't go well in the battle. So she had even more of an advantage.
Long story short, I won. I would love to say I won on my own skill, but that would be a lie. I wish I could say it was by effort alone that I succeeded at this, but that would be a lie too. No, Gari just decided that they wanted to go first and decided to make that happen at any cost. Any cost being my mental and potentially physical health. As Gari let herself out of the ball, bounced a few times off the ground, let me pass her, and then launched at what I assume was full force horizontally, rocketing us both down the street and through the doors of the gym, tumbling end over end and sliding to a halt in front of Brock.
My whole body hurts.
Note to self, Gari is highly competitive. New discoveries every day. Will have to warn Professor Oak in case he ever has to care for her.
Owwwww.
With a groan I lifted myself off the ground and called Gari back into her ball. And to his credit Brock seemed unphased by this turn of events, just calmly staring at me as a huffing Missa came through the door of the gym saying something about cheating by using a pokémon. I don’t know exactly what she said, my ears were ringing. I am pretty sure Gari managed to do internal damage with that maneuver. Fortunately people in this world heal really quick.
As my hearing started to return I realized that Missa and Brock were already mid conversation. She was explaining the rough situation, that we were here for a gym battle, that we had come from Pallet town, and that we had our pokémon for about a year. Not sure what all of that had to do with anything but Brock was the leader and he was free to set whatever rules he wanted to so if he wanted to ask questions he could ask questions.
He then asked to see the challenger’s pokémon since he would only take on one of us today in order to keep the battle fair. Missa gestured to me and I called out Gari, Weedle, and Gengar came out of my shadow.
“Three pokémon huh? Then we will have a two on two battle, as per league rules you may swap out pokémon at will but I cannot swap, the victor will be decided when all of one persons pokémon are no longer able to battle or one side forfeits. Are these rules acceptable?” Brock started the usual bit that we hard heard so often in the anime.
(inserting a note here: couldn't remember the exact phrasing, will probably edit later if I screwed it up bigtime, but otherwise yeah, sorry if its confusing.)
“Fine by me, I honestly never expected to be in the challenger position for that speech.” I said with the excitement raising in my voice. I already knew my choices, I trained Gari far too long to not send them first, and then worst case scenario I would follow with gengar.
“Then I’ll start with geodude!” Brock shouted and tossed out his pokéball into the field that had formed between us using plates that came out of the walls.
“I choose you Gari!” I said, thrusting a finger forward and Gari the gargantuan golden magikarp leapt from beside me and onto the field causing geodude to become rather confused.
They had probably faced many water types before but I wouldn't be surprised if this was the first magikarp they faced in a gym battle. It was widely viewed as worthless and useless afterall.
“I will teach you not to underestimate a gym battle!” Brock shouted and then commanded his geodude to tackle Gari, probably hoping to launch it with the velocity and weight of his pokémon. Unfortunately for him Gari has been training by pushing around a snorlax for a year, geodude is nothing.
Just as geodude was above Gari I immediately took my chance “Gari! Splash, now!” and she followed her orders flawlessly, convulsing in the strange way that magikarp do when they use splash, slamming the geodude that was at point blank range with all of that coiled muscle and flinging it high into the air.
Only problem was it didn't come down…
It wasn't a strong enough blow to knock it through the roof, we would have both heard and seen that, no, instead it vanished into the dark void caused by the lighting.
After a few moments of standing there dumbfounded at what just happened Brock called out to his pokémon to which it replied. He asked if it was okay but all that came back was a dejected “duuude”
Looking up at the source of the sound and then looking at Brock I had to suppress a laugh as I gave my own assumptions.
“I think your geodude might be stuck in the rafters…”
“You what?”
“I think its stuck man, I swear it wasn't on purpose.”
“Geodude, are you stuck?”
The geodude just gave a short “dude” in response, I’m pretty sure that was a yes.
Missa being the quick thinker here busted out one of the flashlights we had packed and pointed it up at the source of the sound, and there it was, firmly planted in the corner where two beams connected, at just the wrong angle to be able to get itself out. At this she finally lost her composure and started laughing, she had it under control until she saw the geodude stuck there like a dodgeball.
“Geodude is unable to battle, the winner is Gari…” Brock announced, not entirely sure what was going on.
“Good job Gari, one more step on your path to gyarados.” I said with a smile and I swear that fish’s eyes sparkled. Never not creepy but either way, she was my pokémon and I was proud of her.
After working his way around the battle field to get a direct line on geodude so he could call it back to its pokéball, Brock returned to his spot opposite of me and composed himself.
“Next I will send out Onix, I trained this one the longest so you won't be able to win with luck this time.” He spoke with confidence, so he was rather sure of himself.
Still onix wasn't even half the weight of a snorlax, and I managed to keep my mouth shut and not brag about that fact yet so it was still going to be a bit of a surprise for him.
Brock’s onix was massive, read the data all you want but 10 meters in length hits different in person. It towered above Gari, and moved with a confidence that is only gained from countless battles. Still, Gari is just weird compared to most pokémon. The average trainer doesn't EV train their pokémon, and the average trainer doesn't go a step further and train their pokémon to do things that they have no right doing in the wild.
I trained Gari to beat Goh’s magikarp when the time comes, I pushed it to the very limits of what a magikarp can do. And all of that is to say, the moment it went for tackle, Gari countered with their own, putting all the force that they used to push snorlax around into a full body slam against onix.
One moment onix had been lunging forward for a strike, the next they were sliding across the battlefield, past Brock, and only coming to a halt inches from the wall behind them. If they hadnt had forward inertia initially I am pretty sure they would have gone through the wall.
I may have made Gari into a monster. I am mildly concerned about what is going to happen when they become a gyarados, what happens if they rampage? I should probably develop countermeasures for that while I have time.
Either way onix had managed to recover from their slide but was visibly shaken and refused to come forward into the arena again.
“I probably should have warned you that Gari is a bit weird for a magikarp, I mean you could probably guess that from the fact that she is a shiny and gigantic but yeah she is really strong.” I decided to say something, hoping to placate whatever rage may be building in Brock. I know normally he is a calm guy but its just an instinctive response of mine, try to explain away the problem.
“Onix, you need to get back in the arena.” Brock was busy focusing on his own pokémon and probably didn't hear me. For the best really.
The onix refused to move from its spot, now curling defensively. Apparently it had never been pushed around like that, especially by something so harmless looking. Would have probably been equally shocked by Missa but hey, I got to go first so the trauma is my fault.
After trying several times to get onix to go back to the battle Brock sighed and called it back.
“Onix forfeits, the winner is Andrew from Pallet Town.” he said dejectedly. Apparently this was a blow to his ego.
“It was an honor battling with you.” I replied and called back Gari and the weedle, then instructed the gengar to return to my shadow for now. They weren't pleased but when offered the opportunity to train against Missa or Gari later they seemed to be happy enough to accept it.
“For your victory against the Pewter City Gym you receive the Boulder Badge, a symbol of your victory and one of the eight badges necessary to enter the indigo league conference.” He continued, so even if he wasn't too pleased with the end result he was still going to be professional.
“Thank you very much, and we will see you tomorrow.” I finished, turning to leave but Brock produced a sound of confusion so I had to turn back.
“What do you mean see me tomorrow?” He asked, that stony exterior showing some cracks.
“Well, Missa still needs to have her battle with you, your pokémon aren't exactly injured or exhausted but after mentally damaging fights like that it is bound to affect their performance in the next battle if they aren't cared for properly. Plus I don’t think Missa is in much of a condition to battle either considering I can still hear spurts of suppressed giggles from up in the stands. Take care of your pokémon, and regardless of the results they still tried their best for you, I have to do similar for Gari.” I responded, going into full professor mode.
“I didn’t expect to see a trainer to show as much compassion for their opponent’s pokémon as their own.”
“All pokémon deserve to be treated with respect, from the smallest to the largest, they work their hardest just to survive and then they get captured by trainers and put into battles, often not getting shown the slightest amount of appreciation. I don’t appreciate trainers that abuse their pokémon, ones like those should be met with a painful end.”
Gengar poked its head up from my shadow, looking around for a bit before returning to it. It had been one of those abused pokémon, starved of life force, left to die at the edge of viridian forest, all because the trainer didn't like their pranks. If I ever find that trainer I am going to hit them, no one will stop me, and if they are lucky Vivi will find them first. But doing so would require hopping world boundaries again, and without Arceus or Palkia’s help that wouldn't be possible.
After a long pause of Brock processing what had just been said, he finally nodded “You’re right, I got caught up in the battle and I should take the time to care for my pokémon, I will see you tomorrow.”
We exited the gym together again and I held Missa’s hand all the way back to the center where we would be staying for the night, we still had one more thing to do before heading to bed.
Oak would be waiting for us to call him. We said we would let him know once the meeting was over how it went but we just kinda got swept up in events.
So we might as well get that lecture over with.
After heading into our room for the night, I pulled out my phone and dialed up Oak with the video call feature. Not sure where it came from or how it works with the current technology, but hey it was useful so don't look a gift rapidash in the mouth.
“Hello?” Came Oak’s voice from the speaker before the camera kicked on, showing his back.
“Wrong camera again, we really need to update your default settings Professor.”
“Huh?” He turned around and looked at the camera that was on. “Oh, right, forgot that I set it for that one for recording research notes. One second.” he fiddled with the keyboard in front of him before the image switched to his face, which looked a little unhappy at first but quickly melted into confusion. “Wait, I thought it said this was a call from Andrew, but your hair is different, don’t tell me you dyed it the moment you left.”
“What?” I asked, flipping on the picture preview function to see purple highlights had shown up on both Missa and I. “Well, that’s a new one… I guess that explains a few things.”
“Explains what? And what is going on? Should I tell Delia about this?”
“No, no no no, do not try to get us in trouble over nothing. That woman terrifies me.” Missa giggled in the background at my comment. “We found a new friend on the way to Pewter, and as far as I can tell, they were the cause of this.” I added, hoping to distract Oak from his initial train of thought and going entirely too far in response.
As much as he pretended to not want us around he doted on us every chance he could while still maintaining that shaky facade.
“And who is this friend you found?” He asked in a tone that said he would not accept me trying to change the subject.
Whether it was by coincidence, them actually listening, or them reading our minds somehow, Gengar chose that moment to materialize out of nowhere, taking up the whole camera, trying to startle Oak who to his credit didn't so much as bat an eye. He was used to pokémon trying to do the jump scare tactic in defense.
“Ah, a gengar, so you two found a random gengar and decided to make friends with it. Why am I not surprised? I don't think I would have been surprised if you told me it was the zapdos Missa desperately wants to pet.”
“And I’ll do it, you’ll see.” Missa chimed in from the background. Gengar was just floating through the room laughing to themselves, more entertained by their perceived reaction than the actual one.
“Yes, we found a gengar, it was alone, starving, and not in great condition. It wouldn’t have lasted long if we didn't offer it some help and it grew attached to us. We shared a bit of life force, enough that it wouldn't affect our daily lives but it seems pleased with just that. And now we have purple highlights.”
“I don’t see how those two are connected.”
“I think it has something to do with marking territory for ghost pokémon. You may have noticed a lot of ghost specialized trainers have particular hair colors or eye colors that match their ghost partners, some going so far as to have a zombie like appearance. Now its only a hypothesis of mine but I think those are things bestowed by the ghost pokémon themselves as a warning to other ghost types that the trainer has been claimed, if that makes sense.”
“I had just assumed it was just a style choice, but that would make sense. Would you like me to pose the idea to the other regional professors the next time we talk so we can pull from a larger pool of data?” I could already tell that he had switched from guardian to professor, but that was what I had been hoping for so I can’t say I was disappointed when the conversation became impersonal. We would get into long theoretical talks as I grew up in the lab, well theoretical to him, I had facts from the game and anime to back me up and it was a lot of work to dance around and precent things as ideas.
“I would appreciate that, yes, because it could also apply to our research into friendship and affection, what if its more in defense than aggression? The ghost pokémon is announcing not to feed from this source of life energy rather than declaring its claim. I am going to have a lot of fun looking into this once the lab is built.”
Oak paused and then looked at me “Don’t think you can distract me with research, I caught that last bit. So the deal went well? I don’t have to make any calls?”
“I don’t know who you would call or why and I don't want to know. But yes the deal went well, though the mayor definitely plans to use our recent fame to bolster Pewter’s reputation. Can’t say I am too pleased with that but it still got us a steep discount so I can at least be happy about that.”
“That’s just the way of things, can’t have your cake and eat it too as they say.”
“That said, I should let you know that with the excess money we plan on buying ourselves some traveling gear of our own and sending back the borrowed equipment. As much as we greatly appreciated the gesture from everyone, it feels like we are relying on all of you too much.”
“I can see how you would feel that way but just know that no one views helping you two as a burden, you brought a liveliness to the town.” Oak replied, his face softening and showing the grandpa that he truly was.
“We know, but still, peace of mind and all of that. While you talk with Mrs. Ketchum about returning all the gear you can let her know that her son is on his way to Pewter but is taking some extra time to catch pokémon in Viridian Forest. I would assume someone, and I am not naming names here, riled him up about not catching anything so he is being very aggressive about this.”
“Ah, um, uh, I may have told him about my bet with Gary and you two as a good humor moment, trying to lighten the mood since I first reached out to him at a pokémon center and his pikachu wasn't doing very well. I didn’t think he would take it that hard though.”
“And what did we warn you about when you brought that bet up?” I asked the very pointed question.
“That I shouldn’t make such a bet and that it would be better to show faith in Ash directly.”
“And yet you made the bet anyway, and now you are a million dollar poorer and Ash is going crazy in the forest. Well, we bet against you saying that this would be a terrible experience but it seems we made the most of it so I guess you get to break even. Great news eh? No need to survive on cheap noodles.”
“I wish you would stop making fun of my noodles.”
“And I wish you would stop buying the cheapest stuff on the market. You realize most pokémon wont eat that right?”
“Some will!” He tried to defend himself.
“Yeah, muk and grimer, but they will eat anything.”
Oak was now sulking, I may have gone too far.
“Well, this oughta brighten your mood a little.” I added, holding up the badge case with a boulder badge in it.
“Oh, is that a boulder badge? I didn’t think you were interested in pursuing the route of a trainer.”
“I’m not, but it provides a good way to pass the time and a good way to deepen my bonds with my pokémon. So I figured why not? Missa is going to battle him tomorrow.”
“Missa too? Actually why am I not surprised, she needs some way to spend some of Vivi’s energy, battle would certainly do the trick. Just don’t push it too hard, he isn't fully recovered yet.”
“I won’t but I really don’t think Vivi cares, he wants to fight.” Missa replied from behind me.
“That’s what I am concerned about, Vivi doesn’t know restraint. If you are going to pretend to be a trainer then you need to at least be as responsible as one and know when to restrain him for his own good.”
“Why do you think I have the baby carrier? Because I like carrying him around like that? No, it’s because it keeps him from being able to dart off and get himself hurt, or potentially hurt someone else. He has quite the temper.”
“Exactly.” Oak said with a tone of finality, as if he had just made some proclamation as our guardian.
Yeah there was really no controlling Vivi, all you could do was direct the chaos, and hopefully Oak never had to learn that lesson the hard way. This is why Missa let Vivi herd the pokémon using Sizzly Slide because it spent his energy and kept the more aggressive pokémon in line, she couldn't stop Vivi during those moments but she could at least choose how Vivi used the energy.
“Well, we should get going, I have to give Gari her after battle care, and have her go through a quick checkup with nurse joy since she was fighting rock solid pokémon for the first time, don't know how that might affect her internally.”
“Yes yes, go, but do stay in touch. The lab is rather quiet without you two running around. As much as I insisted that the quiet would be a nice break it can be unsettling at times.”
“We could always send Vivi back.”
“Would you look at that Delia is calling, bye!” And suddenly the line cut.
I knew he would do that.
Leaving a giggling missa behind that was being nuzzled by Vivi and carefully observed by Gengar, I went off to find Nurse Joy and have Gari examined before I provided her usual after training care, with a few more of the berries she liked as a reward for doing so well in battle.