Red Button Shenanigantery: The Youngest Professors

A false start

The next day started off with Vivi managing to break free of Missa’s snuggling death grip, bolting around the room, leaping off walls, and using both of us as springboards to continue his zoomies. Not the greatest wake up but Gengar quickly settled the situation by grabbing Vivi’s attention and dragging them into a game of bap-a-Gengar. Thank you Gengar.
We used the opportunity to quickly get dressed before Missa snatched up Vivi right before they could swing at Gengar again and stuffed them into the baby carrier. We had talked before going to bed and she decided to go to the gym first thing in the morning and then afterward we would attempt to meet with the boss pokémon of the territory we bought and establish a working relationship. After we managed to do that, we would contract a construction company to build the basic facilities on the edge of the property and no further, then erect a sturdy wall around the property to keep out the various criminal elements that would think this is an easy target.
After all of that was set up we would probably arrange for Brock and Nurse Joy to keep an eye on it while we journeyed. Since we had decided to battle and interact with Brock before Ash did there was no telling how that affected the overall flow of events. He may choose to stay at the gym, but even so, we would suggest passing on the promise to the next leader he appointed if things stayed on the same path.
Either way, before the battle it was time for breakfast, Vivi would eat light and then get snacks throughout the day as it had been when Missa was training them. However, that did not stop him from attempting to vacuum up what he got.
The food was simple eggs and toast, don't question where the eggs came from, I didn't have the nerve to ask in the five years so far and I still don't have the nerve now. That is information I do not need to know. I just need to enjoy my meal.
After breakfast it was battle time, down the street to the gym we went. Brock was already waiting for us but did look rather surprised that anyone was showing up so early. If I recall correctly he was an early riser in the anime too so yeah, makes sense. He welcomed us and went over the rules again, asked Missa to show off her pokémon so she tossed out the Caterpie evolutionary trio and of course, Vivi announced themselves from the baby carrier.
“Four pokémon, I am sorry to ask this but would you be interested in a one-on-one instead of two on two?” He asked, looking somewhat downtrodden.
“I don’t mind the change, but why? If you don't mind me asking.”
“Geodude is… well he is still upset about yesterday and no matter how many times I tell him it was a fluke that it played out that way he still refuses to cheer up so I want to give him some time to rest.”
“That’s fair, it was rather humiliating if you look at it from Geodude’s point of view. Even if it never happens again, it is still suddenly a concern going forward. Let him rest, he has a good trainer, he will recover eventually.” Missa said with a smile.
“Thank you for understanding. Then the rules will be the same as yesterday regarding victory conditions, otherwise neither you nor I can change pokémon. Are these rules acceptable?”
“They are.”
“Then let the battle begin!” He tossed out his onix who was just as large and intimidating even from the raised stands.
Missa reached up and into the space between the carrier and herself, unclasping a buckle that she had used every day to hold Vivi in place. As soon as the buckle was undone the front flap of cloth that held Vivi in place fell away and he kicked off, leaping onto the battle field.
“Oof- Go Vivi. Also, be gentler about it next time, you’re supposed to wait for me to announce you as my pokémon.” Missa chided the little fluffball of chaos.
“Let’s end this quickly, Onix bind!” Brock shouted, clearly underestimating Vivi, did he already forget how things went with Gari?
“Vivi, dodge and retaliate with Sappy Seed!” Missa shouted her command and Vivi surprisingly followed it, effortlessly hopping to the side and out of the attempted bind. Then while glowing green he created a gigantic stalk that sprayed seeds all over his opponent and the battlefield, the seeds immediately sprouting and binding Onix.
“How does an Eevee know grass moves like that?” Brock asked, looking shocked.
“He is a special Eevee.” Missa bragged, but as quickly as her ego had inflated it deflated as Vivi decided to start doing their own thing.
As soon as Onix couldn't move Vivi started running laps around the giant rock snake, glowing blue and shooting countless water bubbles at them while they writhed beneath the ever-growing roots.
The battle had indeed ended quickly but neither participant seemed to be too pleased with the outcome. Missa had won but Vivi hadn’t waited for a command and acted on their own. And Brock had lost twice in a row to weird pokémon.
Of course, Brock handed over the badge and congratulated her on her victory, but he seemed unenthused about it all. All the while Vivi was running laps around the gym talking up a storm like a certain energetic child we grew up with. Well, I say talking but it's not like anyone but Gengar really understood what was being said. And Gengar was just standing there nodding sagely occasionally, I don’t think they were listening at all, just humoring the ball of energy.
Since Vivi hadn't calmed down by the time Brock finished his routine, Missa sighed and looked between the fluffball and me before finally saying “Would you mind going on without me? I don’t think Vivi will calm down enough for our plans today.”
“Sure, but what are you going to do?”
“Well, if Brock doesn't mind letting me use the battlefield while waiting for another challenger, I think I will just let Vivi run around and tire themselves out.”
“I don’t mind, but I will have to step away around lunchtime to go make lunch for my siblings,” Brock responded.
“Vivi and I can find something to do while you handle that, or I could help you cook, or entertain your siblings while they wait. I’m up for pretty much anything and Vivi would love to have more friends.”
“That is an odd Eevee, so I’m not sure if it's safe to have children around it.”
Vivi immediately whipped around and looked at Brock as if he had said something incredibly offensive.
“He is perfectly safe… mostly. I can make him safe.”
“How, and speaking of which, how did he even use a grass and a water move?”
“Those are actually connected. Watch. Vivi, potato.” Missa commanded and Vivi just flopped over again, waiting for belly rubs.
Missa closed the distance and knelt in a way so Brock could watch, then pulled out a wood box from her bag. Setting the box down she opened it up and showed all of the stones in it.
“Those look like evolution stones but there are some I am unfamiliar with.”
“Well, there are the standard four that are semi-common around Kanto, plus the moonstone that you only really find on the mt moon in this region but those are rare so I don’t have one of them, and Vivi didn't react to them.”
“Yeah, I recognize those ones, but what are the others?”
“I have a dawn stone, a dusk stone, an ice stone, and a shiny stone.” She said, holding each up. “There are a handful of pokémon that evolve off of each according to some of the other regional professors but only five of these actually work to evolve an Eevee.”
“Okay, that’s interesting but what are the stones for?”
While rubbing Vivi’s belly, Missa held up the dawn stone first. “They are for this” She then gently touched Vivi with the stone who in turn briefly glowed a light magenta.
“I don’t understand, what did that do? I would have expected it to evolve in some way.”
“No, Eevee doesn't evolve from a dawn stone but as I said my Eevee is special, he seems to temporarily absorb the power of the stone to use for two of his moves. In this case, it just replaced sappy seed with glitzy glow.”
“Those are some unusual move names.”
“No one had seen them before so I got to name them, what did you expect from a 9-year-old?”
“Understandable.”
Missa set the stone back in the box and took out a dusk stone “This one doesn't evolve them either, but it will replace bouncy bubble, the water move you saw earlier, with baddy bad.” as she said so, she placed it on Vivi and they glowed with a dark aura. At the same time, the leaf stone and water stone in the box glowed with a green and blue energy respectively. “The power absorbed is returned to the stones when it’s no longer in use. Our running theory is that the stones only get fully used when the power is completely absorbed and assimilated during evolution or mutation.”
“How did you even discover that it could do this? This seems like a really risky thing to just try one day.”
“Well, yeah, of course, we wouldn't randomly experiment, the poor baby was already most likely experimented on and then hunted and abused, not necessarily in that order. I just wanted to give him a quiet comfortable life like most partner pokémon, but he is really good at finding evolution stones, almost like a sixth sense for it. And one day he touched a fire stone, burst into flames, scared the crap out of all of us, and then tore off into the pasture to herd pokémon. From then on we just worked with whatever stones he brought to us, and as long as he wasn't harming others we decided not to worry about him using them to herd pokémon. Plus he learned really quickly that he wasn't top of the pile when he tried to pick a fight with a Snorlax and got launched, I had to lecture them both after that one.”
“He is quite the feisty pokémon.”
“And quite the fighty one, I was really hoping that the gym challenges would take some of the fight out of him but you can see where that got me.” The moment Missa stopped rubbing Vivi’s belly they jumped up and bolted again, zipping around the rocks of the battlefield, climbing them, jumping off of them, just generally being the chaotic gremlin that it is.
Figuring everything was well handled here I gave Missa a quick hug and peck on the cheek before heading off toward the property we bought. I hope that the various bosses or leaders of the pokémon in the territory were willing to make a deal. Usually, if you sat down and spoke with pokémon in a respectful manner they were willing to listen, but there were a few that could be problematic, like fighting types.
Just as I was concerning myself over what to do, Gengar popped up next to me almost as if to reassure me that everything would be fine. Yeah if I’m honest it wasn't that reassuring, Gengar liked pranks and was a ghost-type pokémon, a type that famously didn't interact with others very well. If anything it felt more like an omen.
Once I arrived in the forest, the rest would be easy to set in motion. Judging from the motions and type spread of pokémon that we saw during the tour around the edge of the property it wasn’t hard to identify where the three territories were, now it was just a matter of finding a spot of where they all touched.
Keeping my phone map at the edge of my vision as I worked my way through the underbrush was how I spent the next hour. The woods were teeming with sounds of pokémon running around, probably scouts of the territories but with how I was weaving between two of them, I was likely throwing off any hint that I could be a threat. Or at least I hoped I was.
Finally, I reached a spot that seemed to be a collision of all three factions of the woods, now it was time to start attracting attention. I popped open a lure mix based off of sweet scent and let it get caught on the wind that wove between the trees, followed by pulling out a flare gun I had brought along in case of emergencies, loaded a red flare and fired it into the sky. No one would come to these woods for a rescue, I was the only one dumb enough to wander in here without some kind of armed escort. Well me and team rocket, can’t ever underestimate their stupidity. Plus I had notified the local police not to react to it since it was part of a plan to attract attention of the local pokémon.
From there I started marking trees with a survival knife that I had also bought and stashed before our trip, I wanted to be thorough. After sending out Gari, Gengar decided to follow my lead and started shaking trees. Essentially from most wild pokémon’s point of view we were aggressively marking territory. Yes this includes the flopping magikarp, they were slamming the ground and riling up any ground type nearby.
So, sweet scent, red light, marking territory, riling up the surrounding pokémon, if the bosses didn't react to this then they would be failures as leaders. I hate using such tactics but time was on a premium and I honestly didn't have any of it to spare since we didn’t know when Ash would arrive.
After about an hour of this and steadily expanding our claim we were finally faced with three very angry and very large pokémon. A Scyther, Golem, and Machamp. Well it could be worse, I mean it could be a walking tornado of blades, a pokémon with rocks for brains, and a fighting type…
If Missa had come along this would have been easy, with Vivi using Sizzly Slide we could subdue Scyther and then the other two could be handled by Gari and the Gengar. Unfortunately things didn't play out quite the way that would be most convenient, and by that I mean the chaos gremlin woke up and chose violence this morning. Well, best I can do is hope to turn the bug type to our side by using a bug type. This already feels like a terrible idea.
Nothing ventured nothing gained. I let out weedle, the pokémon who I had not battled with once, and was scrawny for its species and level, and I let them out in front of scyther, a whirlwind of death, this should go swimmingly.
I asked weedle to explain that we don’t mean harm and that we just needed to get everyone here so we could talk about the coming years. That I was the new owner of this land, along with my partner, and want to work with the pokémon here to establish a safe haven for all pokémon. Unfortunately I only got through part of the explanation before Scyther attacked. Right, red light turns scyther berserk, they literally see red, crap.
Just as I was about to order Gengar to attack I was caught off guard by an even swifter response as Machamp zipped past me, grabbed both arms of scyther and before they could even react started unleashing dynamic punch after dynamic punch. I don’t know if they were protecting me or saw an opportunity to take territory for themselves.
I guess I got my answer after a few moments as Machamp let go of the pummeled scyther, letting them drop to the ground, only semi conscious, then turned to me and bowed before walking back to their original side. Golem who had just stood back and watched everything tossed an oran berry in scyther’s direction before sitting down. Clearly my intentions had reached the other two leaders, maybe they weren’t as unreasonable as I had believed.
Gengar for their part was still standing in a defensive position near me and Gari had not moved an inch the whole time that the bosses had been here, muscles tensed and waiting for the first command. But I couldn’t let scyther lay there like that considering it was my fault they wound up berserk like that.
“Gengar, bring weedle with you up to the flare, hit the flare with your shadow punch to extinguish it and then weedle you use string shot to wrap the hot remains as quickly as possible to smother it and keep it from spreading. Gari, when the ball of silk lands use splash to fling some dirt on it and eliminate the stickiness before flopping on it a few times and make sure its completely smothered. I am going to heal scyther.” The three pokémon quickly began their tasks while I pulled out a ‘max’ potion that I had mixed with Missa during practice, it wasn't quite up to the professional quality but it was significantly stronger than the regular potions.
I carefully treated the wounds on the scyther, purposely moving slow so as to give my pokémon enough time to finish their task. As I felt the thuds of Gari finishing up the smothering I picked up the pace then turned to face the Machamp that had helped me, not bothering with niceties I held up the remaining potion then said “Hands, now, I know you didn’t get out of that without any injury, no matter how tough you want to act, and I’m not going to risk you getting an infection. Missa would kill me.”
Though reluctant at first they did hold out the two hands that had held the blades, both of which had a thin red line across them. “No matter how tough you are, scyther can still cause wounds, it could cut golem over there if it tried hard enough, those blades are some serious stuff. Now, this is going to burn a bit because I got the ratio off but it will heal quickly and if we rinse them off once the wound seals it will stop. Okay?” Machamp nodded and I sprayed the mix on its hands, it winced briefly but held fast.
“Good job, very brave, now that the wound is sealed.” I got my cantine from my backpack and poured some water over its hands, the red tinge from a burn reaction immediately vanishing. “You’ll have some minor scarring for a bit but even that will heal after a couple weeks. Though I suspect that is more disapponting news than relieving considering the scars that cover all three of you. Do you really have to fight so hard?”
Both the golem and Machamp nodded in response. Apparently they had their reasons. “Fine, I won’t get in the middle of your fights or feudes, but I want all of you conscious for this so let’s wait for Scyther to fully come round.” They both nodded again. With the way things were shaping up this will probably work out.
It was yet another hour before the scyther fully regained consciousness, they had been slipping in and out for a bit and I was tempted to use a revive on them but considering revive was essentially just smelling salts with a stimulating herb mixed in, I was hesitant to use it. It felt cruel now that I knew what it was, no wonder it was never used in the anime. If I had revival herb I would have used that, mashed into a medicinal paste it could be eaten and rapidly progress the healing process.
Either way it was awake now, a little groggy from the sheer amount of dynamic punches it took, but otherwise fine. “Now let’s try this again. My partner and I are the new owners of this land according to human standards, but I know that doesn't apply to pokémon. I don’t expect you to bend to my will or to have your followers or even the pokémon under your protection to do so either. I wan’t all of you to live here and I want to make this place better for you and all other pokémon to live. Does this sound like something you want?”
The three pokémon seemed to think about it a little bit before they replied with a nod in unison. At least they understood human mannerisms enough to communicate yes and no.
“Okay, so all three of you want me to improve this land, now I am what is called a professor among the humans, that means I am somewhat important to society, but it also means experiments on pokémon. I don’t expect you to trust me but I do want to let you know that our research is based on how pokémon react to love and affection, whether that be in combat, every day life, or how it changes wild pokémon. We want to see how mutual trust, admiration, and respect between pokémon and humans can change things for the better. Participating is not a requirement to live here, but it is encouraged. Do any of you have a problem with this?”
The three pokémon once again thought about it but this time deliberated between eachother, Gengar chimed in occasionally, seemingly defending me as they questioned my motives. I may have only known them for a few days but from day one Gengar received all the same treatment as Gari, and for that matter weedle did too, my pokémon would receive top quality care.
Finally after a lot of talking between them the three shook their heads no, signifying that they did not have any problems with the idea of such experiments. Great, I’m glad that they saw past the initial issues they had. It seems that these bosses were more level headed than I was led to believe. I’m starting to think those previous corporations that showed interest in the area had less than moral intentions. I’m going to have to get a list of them somehow. Problems for later.
“Okay, I would like to build a single building around the closest point to the city located south of us. Is that okay? I believe it would land in… golem’s territory from the looks of it, so while I would like all of your approval, the one that matters most is golem.”
Golem for their part immediately nodded, apparently they liked this plan the most out of the three of them and wanted to aggressively support. After a shared glance the other two agreed as well.
“Great, I will make sure the construction team is respectful and that the designs are shown to you so you get a clear image of what it will be. Beyond that I need to build a fence around the property to keep criminals out, other humans that are bad and want to make money so badly that they will hurt pokémon. I will do what I can to keep them out but initially a fence is all I can do. And I want to make it clear that none of you will be trapped here, I will set up methods for you to be able to freely leave and enter. Is this acceptable?”
Another long deliberation with Gengar chiming in ended in a full agreement once more. This was going unbelievably well.
“Do you three mind more pokémon coming here? Not just weaker ones that would fall under your command but larger ones that may challenge your authority?” Golem and Machamp both nodded immediately but scyther shook their head. “Alright then. I won’t do that just yet. Not until I can convince you it is a good thing. I won’t proceed without all of the bosses agreeing. Thank you for your time, sorry I had to be so aggressive with how this started, if I need you again I will come here and fire a green flare, green like grass, so please have one of your territory scouts keep an eye out for that. I don’t want to cause an uproar every time I show up.” I gave my nicest smile to them all and stood up from the seated position I had been in for the talks.
Most pokémon viewed standing as a more threatening position so it had been a negotiation strategy. It also gave me a position where I could give attention to Gari and weedle while I spoke. Gengar would get their attention later when I reunited with Missa since they were a pokémon shared between the two of us. Before I left I handed out a few candies and sweets to the gathered pokémon, and gave one of the experimental exp candies that Missa and I had whipped up while testing if it was even possible. Short answer was theoretically yes, long answer would require me to write another dissertation.
It was a concentrated mixture of various berries, special medicinal herbs, and a few of the rare and expensive herba mystica spices from paldea that we got shipped over for flavoring. All of that cooked down and refined multiple times until we got a little sweet crystal that had a light blue hue just like the exp candies, and it seemed to give pokémon a little bit of a power up. Though it was yet to be determined whether or not it was because of the giant boost of nutrients or if it was actually functioning like an exp candy.
How do we know their effect already? Well Vivi may or may not have eaten an entire tray of the first batch before we could catch them and has been even more chaotic ever sense so… we opted not to tell Oak what happened and just pretended like they were always like that and just needed more exercise. Probably should not have left them unattended while cooling. Oh well. Either way the three pokémon gobbled the candies down and after a startled response at the sudden burst of energy, they went their separate ways.
I took that as my signal to get out of the forest and return to town. Not like it was that long of a trip anyway, and without observers I could use the training that Missa and I had put ourselves through to the fullest. I called back Gari and weedle and then grabbed onto Gengar’s hand “Let’s go!” And they immediately recognized the signal to fly. Seems they had poked around in our dreams a bit more after the first night and collected useful memories. Perfect. Gengar dragged me above the trees, holding onto my arm with both their hands and floated off toward the city. It wasn’t fast per se, only slightly faster than my jogging pace, but it was a straight line which significantly reduced travel time.
Mid trip I let Missa know I was done and would be headed for the pokémon center we were resting at, and from there I would update her on what happened with the bosses and what we did and didn't get approved. We wound up talking over dinner where she gushed about Brock’s siblings and how adorable all of them were and how Vivi had been perfectly behaved the whole time since they got to play with so many kids, after explaining how she had helped repair one of the little ones’ dresses she asked me for the details of what I went through. I conveyed everything the best I could, you know, without understanding the pokémon directly, and she was rather pleased. We both understood the Scyther’s position, they likely worked hard for their position and were also likely the head of their swarm so more pokémon that are a potential threat in their aging body only brought risk with no potential reward.
Either way we quickly found ourselves in bed and cuddling again after that long conversation. We were both quite tired after the days we had, and as much as we didn't like to be separated we both seemed to find a way to enjoy things.
Once we had both fallen asleep though, that’s when the interesting things happened. Soon we found ourselves floating in a space that was somehow simultaneously full of overwhelming swirling color and yet also the deepest and darkest true void you could ever imagine.
Before us was a shifting form, white and black, gold and silver, shifting through hues before going colorless and then returning to the beginning of the cycle, the only thing that remained the same the entire time was the golden halo like object that floated around the middle of its mass. The symbol of Arceus.
I decided that speaking first was probably disrespectful so I pressed my mouth shut into a thin line and Missa copied my decision after a quick glance.
“It is interesting to see you again, children.” Came the unfamiliar yet unforgettable voice of the entity who had given me the opportunity that landed me here.
“So it was you.” I muttered without thinking.
“Yes, it was me who pulled your miserable form across dimensions and into my world. So many requests and yet you couldn't even identify me. Disappointing.”
“You looked human last time, humans have the unfortunate wiring to identify first visually, speed of light and all that. But I apologize for my rudeness, I do appreciate the opportunity to experience this. I also apologize for using your name without permission.” I continued, Missa kept looking at me as if she wasn't sure I should be speaking.
“Think nothing of it, you’ve been entertaining, I hope you have appreciated my gifts.”
“Gifts? Let me guess, Gari, Vivi, and the Gengar?”
“Correct~ I do find it very entertaining how the five of you interact, and hope you will continue your little adventure. Its a bright spark in a sea of boring repetition.”
“We have no intention of stopping yet, I want to see this journey through to the end.”
“Good, good. Now for why I have summoned you.”
“It wasn't for the confirmation and the chat just now?”
“No. That was for me, this is for you. The boy you wait for will arrive in nine days, he will be different from your previous experiences, spend your time wisely because this could be the beginning of everything. Threats lie around every corner and at every step of your journey. Your presence doesn't go unnoticed. Not only are criminal eyes upon you but even those who have been sealed watch with interest. I hope you two will prove to be entertainment well worth the effort. Goodbye.” Before we could reply, both of us were woken up by a panicked Gengar and Vivi who apparently thought we had died.