Feigned Marriage

chapter 9

Prapai's POV

I look up in surprise when the kitchen door opens. Sky walks in wearing a tank top and some really short shorts that make it impossible to keep my eyes off him. He freezes when he sees me, his eyes wide.

"Morning," he says, a forced smile on his face.

"Morning." Things have been weird between us lately. It's like we no longer know how to behave around each other, when we used to be such good friends. I suppose most of that is caused by me. I've been waking up early and working late to avoid going to bed with him. I feel horrible about forcing him into this marriage, but I'm not making it any better by avoiding him. If anything, I just seem to be making him uncomfortable, and I have no doubt he's started to feel unwelcome around me. I need to get my shit together.

Sky walks over to the coffee machine, giving me one hell of a view of his ass. This is part of the reason I've been staying away from him all week. Having him here at home with me has made it impossible to ignore how fucking beautiful he is. Just seeing him in the sexy nightwear he wears at night makes it impossible to think straight. I'm scared I'll do or say something inappropriate. Sky and I are straddling this weird line of being married yet being nothing more than friends, and I don't know how to deal with it.

"P'pai?" I look up at sky and force a smile onto my face.

"I asked if you wanted another cup of coffee?" I shake my head and tip my head toward the fridge.

"No, thank you. There's some breakfast for you in the fridge. Donna told me you haven't been eating much? Is the food not to your liking?"

He tenses for a moment and shakes his head. "No, it's not that. I just... I can't eat much, P'pai. I'm a model, remember?"

I push away from the kitchen counter and walk up to him, my hands wrapping around his waist, my fingers touching on either end. "sky, you can afford to eat a little more. You'd still be the sexiest man alive, you know?"

His eyes widen, and then he smirks. "Is that so?" I bite down on my lip, realizing what I just said. What's wrong with me?
This is exactly what I've been worried about. I've never had a problem keeping inappropriate thoughts about him deeply suppressed, so what changed? I let go of him and take a step away, but he follows and wraps his hands around my tie.

"Can we stop?" he asks, his tone pleading.

"Stop what?"

"This," he whispers. "Dancing around each other, avoiding each other. We've been married for a week and I've barely seen you, much less spoken to you. Why is that I feel like I lost one of my closest friends?"

His words catch me off-guard, and I reach for him, the back of my hand brushing over his cheek.
"sky," I murmur. "I just... I thought it would be good to give you space. The last couple of days have been a lot for both of us. I was worried I'd make you uncomfortable. Being in each other's personal space like that, I'm not sure. I just didn't want to overwhelm you."

It isn't the full truth, but it's as close as I can give him right now.

"You are," he tells me. "You are making me uncomfortable by keeping your distance. It's weird, and I hate it. We've always been friends, P'pai. Why does that need to change? Surely marriage should've brought us closer? Do you truly hate being married to me that much?"

A hint of pain flashes through his eyes, and it fucking guts me. Fuck. "What? No, Sky. What the fuck?" I wrap my hands around his waist and lift him on top of the kitchen counter with ease. His eyes widen, and he places his hands against my chest.

I take a step closer to him and stand between his legs, unsure what to say, yet unable to push aside my sudden intense need to reassure him. "I just feel guilty, ky. I'm pissed off at James, and I'm mad at myself for doing this to you. Fuck. I just..." How do I explain that I'm having a hard time accepting that the life I so carefully planned out vanished into thin air? How do I tell him that my mind is a complete fucking mess, and that I can't figure out why I'm not more upset about the way things worked out, the way James and I parted ways? I should be heartbroken, but more often than not, it isn't even James I'm thinking about — it's sky. I want to do right by his, and I don't know how to do that. I don't want to clip his wings, and I can't bear to see his smile dim. I don't want to make him feel trapped in this marriage with me. I'm terrified that he'll come to resent me for forcing him into this.