Feigned Marriage

Chapter 1

Sky POV

My phone buzzes and I reach for it absentmindedly, freezing when I read the caller ID. Prapai. My heart tightens as I stare at my phone, watching it ring.

“Sky?” phayu says, his voice soft, concerned.
I look up, snapping out of my daze, and force a smile onto my face. How long have I been zoning out for? “It’s your brother,” I tell him, before accepting the call.

“Hi, P'pai,” I say, my calm tone in contrast with the beating of my heart.
He chuckles, and a sharp sense of longing rushes through me. “Sky, I’m surprised you even picked up. You’re so hard to reach these days. You’re even busier than I am.”

I lean back in my seat and smile. It’s been a while since I last heard him say my name. “What’s up?” I ask, knowing that whatever it is he’s calling for is bound to hurt me.

Prapai is a habit I can’t kick. He’s a shameful addiction, an illicit secret.
“Want to go shopping with me? I need to buy a present for James birthday, and who better to ask for help than you?”

I should say no. The last thing I want to do is accompany P'pai to buy a present for my brother. I can’t stand hearing him talk about him, seeing the love and devotion in his eyes. But I’d rather see him gushing over him than not see him at all.
“Sure,” I tell him, against better judgement.

Phayu looks at me through narrowed eyes as I end the call. “What did he want?” he snaps.
I smile tightly, knowing he won’t be happy. “He needs a birthday present for James.”

Phayu locks his jaw and looks away. “Don’t go,” he says, his voice soft.

“Just don’t go, sky.
He can figure out what to buy him himself. Why does he need your help?”

“It’s fine,” I tell him, even though I’m not sure it is. It’s been years, and I still can’t deny him anything.

“It isn’t,” phayu says. “I love my brother, but I love you just as much. You need to stop giving him such easy access to you when each and every time you see P'pai, you’re left heartbroken.”

I shake my head in denial. “I’m not, Phayu. P'pai and I are just friends. We always have been.
You’re seeing things that aren’t there.”

He crosses his arms and stares me down. “Lie to yourself all you want, ky, but you’re not fooling me.”

I avert my gaze, unable to keep up my pretence when he’s looking at me that way. He’s the only one who knows what happened when we were younger, and though I deny it, he’s the only one who knows that I’m still as in love with prapai as I was then.

“ky, don’t you ever wonder what would have happened if you’d confessed your feelings to him after that night—”

I hold my hand up and shake my head. “It wouldn’t have mattered. It’s always been James he loved. From the moment he walked into his life, he’s been all he could see. If I’d told him how I felt about him, it’d just have made things awkward between us. I’d have lost his friendship.”

He looks into my eyes, his gaze filled with the same heartache I’m feeling.
“Are you really going to stand back and watch prapai marry your brother?”

I turn to face the window and inhale shakily. “What choice do I have?
They’ve been together for five years, phayu. If there was ever a time to make a move, I missed it.
They’re happy together, and I wish them well. If either of them finds out about my feelings, it’d cost me my friendship with prapai, and it’d destroy the strained relationship I have with my brother. And what for? He’s never seen me as more than a friend, at best. He never will.”