Against the Wind

11.3 || Raya

All pretences shattered beneath the pounding of Raya's feet. Calm and unity and normalcy were left worlds away, lost in the sprays of sand she kicked up as she skidded around corners, yellow hood yanked up to conceal at least some of her face. She'd been acting off already this week without being seen hurtling across the city as if possessed by some maddened spirit, but she couldn't slow down. With calm's mask gone, panic pounced on her, yapped in her ears and nipped at her heels. Her heart spasmed as if she were the one in danger of being killed.

The consequences she ran from were still very real and terrifying, but it wasn't her heart they would pierce. She knew that and had to remember. It made the fear less the heavy burden of water and more like fire, spitting sparks and prompting haste, action, something, as long as it was fast.

She found Corvin exactly where he should be. Perched on the edge of her bed with a blanket twisted in his lap, he looked up, startled by the chaotic array of bell-chimes that announced her entry. She gripped her knees and doubled over, panting, though unable to tear her eyes from his. She dreaded to think how wild her gaze was to stare into.

His shock faded into placid curiosity, then concern. He slid off the bed and snatched up his flute. "You are okay?"

She shook her head, unwelcome tears stinging her eyes. Willing them back turned her voice hoarse. "My mother is home," she said, gasping for air. "You have to leave, now."

He didn't understand, not at first, but he let her drag him out of the house all the same, swaddled in one of her brother's few navy cloaks that didn't fit his wiry frame. He flinched only at the touch of the spell she used to cast his disguise. Antsy wariness consumed him the moment she drew the pinch of pearlescent dust from her pouch, but he stayed still, frozen like a statue in her house's main hall, until the haze of particles settled upon his antlers.

Breathing sharper and faster than it had been mere moments ago, he whimpered, lips curled in a tight grimace. Her lungs seized, and she fought to regain her focus. Slowly, in blurred patches, his antlers wavered out of view. She hardly dared look where they'd been, too distracted by the red glints of fear in his eyes. "Does it hurt?"

He nodded.

Guilt swarmed upward in thick, strangling vines. She held out her hands, palms hesitantly nudged forward. Relief was a needle prick when he took them. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "It won't be for long. Then you'll be safe. I only need to—"

He laced their fingers together, stopping her with a gentle squeeze. It struck her how strange he seemed with his antlers hidden, his shaggy off-white hair like an exposed field of snow, all that remained of his difference to her. Their absence had soothed her during his rescue, but now it tied a knot in her stomach. He looked incomplete.

His smile shook when it poked through. "Trust you."

She couldn't tell whether it was a statement—a reassurance that he trusted her, that he would follow anyway—or a command.

She didn't want to let go of either of his hands, but stepping outside demanded it. He stayed tight at her side regardless. She was grateful for that, thankful that he kept pace with her despite the pain he must've been in. His gaze strayed frequently to the sky, bouncing over rooftops and chasing the brightest rays of the sun as if seeking escape, what she could only assume was his form of distraction. He lost himself in the sunlight, and she buried herself in watching him. The ache of maintaining her magic was quick to form and heavy to carry. She needed a will to keep going and a shield against the buzz of fear in her ears. He was all she had, but he was enough.

The face of every mage they passed looked like her mother's. One even tried to stop her, offering a wave and a friendly greeting, but Raya didn't even have it in her to blink and pause and recognise the girl. She called back a reply she couldn't hear, feeling it leave her tongue numbly, in slow motion. Corvin went tense at her side. The girl frowned, then readied to say something else. Raya yanked her gaze away and kept moving. Her heart was a bomb ticking in her chest, every person they passed wielding daggers in their stare. She kept moving and didn't stop, didn't look anywhere else except at Corvin, not until they were back in the shadow of the watchtower with Tehazihbith's boundary sketched in the shifting sand at their feet and the city's noise was distant enough to create a bubble of silence.