Soul Bound

Chapter 12

Grayson stared down at his stained knuckles. Blood splattered the matts, some even found its way on the walls.

It wasn't enough.

Six volunteers had come and gone from the training mats, none of them triumphant. They thought they could best him. On a good day, he might have let one of them win to keep morale up. What good were soldiers if their confidence was shattered before they hit the battlefield?

However, today was not that day. Today he wanted to beat someone until he couldn't feel any more. He had gone through six people, but he still felt it. He didn't know what it was, but it was raw and rugged. It ripped through him with the force of a tsunami. It threatened to shatter everything he had worked so hard to build. It shook the ground beneath him.

He wanted it to go away.

"You cannot push these feelings aside, Gray," Eran scorned him. "This is a part of the process."

"What kind of process involves breaking these peoples' bones?" he challenged, scanning the mats for his next victim. The first few volunteers had been all too eager to step up to the mat. Many of these Knights had wanted an excuse to get their hands on him since he'd joined the Dragon Knights. Much like Eva, he didn't have to pass their trials. He didn't have to prove this worth. Eran Bonded with him, which was proof enough that he had what it took to be a Dragon Knight.

The recruits never quite saw it that way. They had to fight tooth and claw to become a Knight. Not all of them made it. Dragons didn't choose just anybody to fight beside. You needed guts. Grit. Determination. Those who didn't show those attributes were snubbed. They were forced to pick a support role to help the Knights that did find a partner. But the trials weren't for everyone. Some gave up. Others never saw the light of tomorrow. It grinded people the wrong way when he was allowed to bypass it all.

"Breaking their bones is perhaps too far," Eran relented, "but I understand your indignation. I am angry too."

Angry? No. Fury was good for blocking out physical pain. This went beyond fury. He hurt. Viscerally. Mercilessly. Relentlessly. He couldn't block this kind of hurt with his anger.

Images flashed in his mind, brief yet effective. The anguish in Eva's eyes when she first arrived at Dragon Canyon, covered in dirt and blood. Her terror when he picked her up to take her to the healing pools. The peace that fell over her when he told her he wouldn't leave her side... Eva floating underwater, ready to give it all up.

He thought he had been too late, that Eran had waited too long to call for him. That thought alone haunted him, even a couple of hours after the fact; a fear that had gripped him so wholly he didn't think he would ever be able to unfeel it.

He hated that he had no control over it. He couldn't shove it aside like he did with other hindering emotions. It was stuck to him, like a plague, determined to make him feel.

The doors to the training room opened then closed just as quickly. Grayson caught sight of a familiar mop of blonde hair wading its way through the crowd.

Suddenly, all the rage and pain felt irrelevant. Selfish.

"Everybody out," he commanded.

He wasn't the highest ranking officer in the room, but when Grayson Smith was on a warpath, everybody got the fuck out of his way. Knights filed out of the room in an orderly yet hasty manner, leaving Grayson and Jacob alone.

By Lorelus, his friend looked like shit. The god of vitality hadn't done him any favours. His complexion was blotchy, purple rings hanging under his eyes, cheeks red. Despite having watched his friend eat in the past few days, he wouldn't have been able to tell by looking at him. Even his hair, which Grayson often used as a beacon to find him in a crowd, was dull, lifeless. He didn't look like a proud Dragon Knight. He looked like a man who... well, a man who had lost everything. Everyone he ever cared about. Aside from Eva.