"But hey, nobody's perfect
No one wants to be alone"
-My Girlfriend - TV Girl
🏎
•Pierre's POV•
Wednesday, Spain GP.
Alpine finally understood that money's purpose was to being put in the cars. Especially because of the last week's accident. Therefore, no luxuous hotel, just a simple vacation's appartment about one hour and thirty minutes from the paddock.
I put my stuff on the table. Well, by "stuff", I meant a simple bag filled with clothes and underwears; but mostly from little souvenirs I was able to share with Yuki. It was like... a lucky charm, that gave me hope.
I begin to put my stuff out : the ones meant to be in the living-room, then in the room, where i put my clothes in the closet, and carefully put the key rings Yuki offered me at my birthday and the plushie we randomly won during a contest in Japan. I was about to make my bed when the door suddenly opened, making me flinch slightly. I don't turn around, I already knew who was staring at me. It was logical after all, Alpine wouldn't have got an appartment for every single pilot.
"You should be more careful with your environment, you didn't hear me knock and I had to take my keys." Esteban reproached to me, staring at my little toys connected to Yuki.
"Basically, when you see someone for the first time since a certain moment; you say "hello", no ?"
"Well, you are made of stone since the accident..."
"Fuck you." The words came out of my mouth without any control.
He keeps looking at me, I keep looking at him. We were both staring at each other's souls.
"Communication is key in any relationship, instead of telling me to fuck off"
"Says the man who has just broken up with his girlfriend because he didn't want to tell her that he no longer loved her."
A blank moved in, and I went into the kitchen.
Well, maybe I should have stayed in my room because I'm actually not hungry. So, I sit on the sofa while Esteban comes back in the living room. I side eye him, whispering a slight "tsk".
I wait a few minutes so that no one suspects me that I made a mistake by going in the dining room before returning to my room.
I close the shutters.
I get into my pajamas.
And I kneel in front of my bed.
For both religious and desperate reasons.
I could pray for hours for them.
☆
The clock was the object on which my eyes landed as soon as they opened.
00:15.
Tears run down my face as I sit bed. My heart cried, I couldn't control it.
I'm just... lost and relieved. That what I have just experienced is not real, even if in this dream was the first time since the accident I felt like I was living. Yes, I felt like my soul stopped singing when I saw Yuki on the stretcher, the blood creating an unreal atmosphere in the atmosphere. The blood.
The blood. It gives me the goosebumps, I don't feel good. That dream seemed too real, even if its vitality is similar to water. So fluid, but non-living.
My legs, going on their feets, carried me and my thoughts to the kitchen.
At the time, I wasn't really thinking. My body was looking for an escape to feel real.

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