PGS05: In Fact, You Waited

IFYW02

I spoke too soon.

Nagising na lang ako sa
pagbabalik-tanaw nang may kumatok. Bumungad sa'kin ang nakangiting mukha ni 'Nanay Lusing'.

She insisted that I call her that. It's almost ironic when my own mother wants me to call her by her name. Not even Minny, as what her friends call her, but Minerva, her full name.

"Hija, pinapasabi pala ni Ma'am Minny na magbihis ka raw at may dinner sa baba."

Tumango na lang ako at pumili ng damit galing sa aking bag. I chose the black flowy dress with a modest upper button design. Pagkatapos magbihis ay tinungo ko ang dresser para makapag-ayos nang kaunti. Kasalukuyan niyang inaayos ang mga gamit ko mula sa maleta at hinahanay sa malaking closet.

Pagkatapos kong masigurado na 'di na ko mukhang pagod ay tumayo na ko. Bago ako makalabas nang tuluyan sa pinto ay tinanong ko muna siya.

"Mauuna na lang po ba ako sa baba o sasabay po kayo sa'kin?" Nakita kong nagulat siya sa tanong ko.

She said that it's dinner so I just assumed that she's gonna eat with us. "Ay hindi hija, kayo lang kasama ng mga bisita ang magsasalo-salo roon," pagliliwanag niya. I just accepted her answer and proceeded to close the door while walking towards the staircase.

As soon as I went downstairs, it was like signing off my life. Ayon sa sabi kanina ni Nanay Lusing death anniversary daw ng asawa ni Minerva ngayon.

I was shocked by the news, I wasn't even aware of when and how he died.

My dad mentioned him in passing when I was a kid. Growing up, I pictured him as a villain who stole my mom away. Now that I've grown I realized that it was not the case. It was my mom who escaped our home.

Well, the 'love story' of my parents was complicated. You can call me a result of complicity. Based on my dad's tale, they met when my Mom was working with my grandad's modeling agency. She was the star of the agency for a length of time, three years that is.

My dad instantly fell in love and you know the gist of a whirlwind romance. It came too instant and ended as quickly. Only after half a month and they've been too comfy. The problem? It resulted in a whole goddamn human. Ol' little me. It didn't even last that long, I can't say that we've been a "family". Because as soon as I was introduced to solid foods, my mom decided to bolt.

They say that you start to become a stranger to each other once you break up. My question is, do you also become a stranger to your child when you decided to give them up?

My dad explained the situation as harmless as he could when I was young, but I realized soon enough that it was all BS. We're the kept family. The illegitimate part of the picture albeit being the first one to appear. I was the child out of wedlock. Later on, my mom married someone who was not my dad.

All I knew was her features and after two years I was introduced to the twins. My half-sisters. In my young mind, I didn't realize at first how unusual it was that our every introduction and recollection was through pictures and brief clips of them.

We haven't even had real time communication since I was a kid. My dad served as our messenger. The only way they communicated was through emails. How my dad settled with that kind of set-up is beyond me. He almost worships the ground she walks on and not even once did I see it being reciprocated.

Speaking of emails. I now realized what my dad was talking about in his very last email at the desk of his office when I tried to check on it. The unfinished mail staring right at me when I came from the hospital. After hearing the news that he didn't make it. Did I mention that it was also my 20th birthday? It was. The day my life fell apart.