Heart of Iron

Chapter 12: Baby Steps

Today was going to be the first lesson for Sign Language for the squad leaders, something I was informed about during our date last night. I was thrilled by Casimir's original agreement and I was happy he was proving to be a man of his word. But somehow, now that it was actually happening, I kind of wanted to throw up.

I splashed water onto my face, trying to settle my nerves and wash away any lingering doubts. Everything was prepped and ready; Beau and Marco had surprised me this morning at breakfast by offering to help.

I wondered if it was their choice or if it was something that Casimir had ordered.

It didn't matter, either way. The work got done, which would make for an easier lesson.

But I wanted to believe they helped me of their own accord. I wanted to believe they were kind to me because of me and not Casimir making them.

One more forced smile at my reflection in the mirror and I left the bathroom. The Pit was empty this afternoon; I guess that was because all the squad leaders would be busy with my class.

My wolf bristled as my anxiety began to poke at her too. It was hard to rein it in.

This was like a dream come true to me. A real chance to bring people into my world and communicate with them properly. In Blackstone, I could only ever dream. But thanks to Casimir, there was an opportunity to change that reality. An opportunity that I was afraid to lose or squander.

Maybe that's what this twisted and heavy sensation in my stomach was.

For the first time in five years, I started to hope again. Meeting Casimir, coming to Ironmoon—all of it was scary and new. But I was able to breathe and move through the world without so much hate. Ellis's death didn't feel like a crown of thrones I had to put on every morning.

When I thought of Ellis these days, I didn't only think of our final moments together. There were instances, when I was with my new pack mates, that I remembered the good times. His laughter, his smiles, his corny jokes, all of those precious things he shared with me; the guilt had stolen just as much as his death had.

My chest tightened and I swallowed the swell of emotions building in me. I wanted to be worthy of his sacrifice. And I got the feeling that cutting out this space for myself in Ironmoon was the start of that.

One step at a time.

If I didn't see a path for me to the future, I just needed to forge my own; to make the second chance I was given worth something.

Someone grabbed my shoulders from behind and I jumped in surprise, heart lodging in my throat. I turned my face to see Mari and behind her a few feet was her brother and Thalia.

It was easy for them to forget that I couldn't hear them most of the time because I was able to communicate with them without too much trouble. Or at least, it probably seemed that way from their perspective.

Her brother gave her a smack to the back of her head. She winced and sent a quick glare in his direction.

"She can't hear our footsteps. What if she thought you were an enemy? She was within her right to attack you. Think more, in the future."

His words were spoken slowly and intentionally. Though I wasn't sure if that was for my benefit or if that was simply the way he spoke. He didn't linger after his reprimand, just walked away and into the meeting room.

I turned back to Mari and Thalia, both of them wearing frowns.

Leaning over, I bumped my shoulder into Mari's, trying to ease the tension. She glanced my way.