Heart of Iron

Chapter 18: A Fragile Line

Nervous didn't even begin to describe the feelings I had. I was going to spend the night with my mate; we were going to sleep together for the first time.

Casimir and I had eaten dinner with everyone as if nothing was different between us.

But everything had changed.

His kisses had ignited something inside of me. Something that went beyond desire. No one had ever looked at me the same way that Casimir did. He treated me with a consistency that I appreciated. There was understanding for my way of existing but at the same time, he didn't treat me like I was other.

I liked that he didn't have expectations for what I could or couldn't do. He gave me opportunities and left what I accomplished up to me.

Even Cameron, for all the effort he had put into helping me, saw my existence as something that was limited.

If only I could find a way to break through the barrier that Casimir kept erecting whenever I thought we were truly connecting. I didn't understand why he kept drawing me close, only to push me away. Maybe I was reading too much into his actions.

After all, I was the one who said I wanted to take things slow.

So, perhaps, it was all for me.

I stared at his back as we walked back to his room in silence.

From the way his shoulders were set, I knew that he was tense. People had no idea how much they communicated without ever saying a word. And knowing that he was nervous helped to relax me.

There was no reason to rush things.

We were mates, that fact wasn't going to change.

I didn't want to let my doubts and insecurities ruin this opportunity to learn more about my mate. Baby steps were still steps, weren't they?

I almost collided with Casimir when he stopped abruptly. He turned to me with an awkward smile. He reached up and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"So, this is my room."

I blinked then peeked around him at the closed door. A fluttering warmth spread from my stomach and touched my heart. I met his gaze again, tilting my head.

"Are we going to go in?" I asked and signed.

He turned away from me quickly and opened the door, entering with a stiff posture.

My lips trembled as I held back the urge to laugh at him. This really was the first time that I had ever seen him like this. I was sure that if any of his pack mates saw him now that they would be stunned speechless.

I took a step into the room and was bombarded with his scent.

My wolf rose and the bond purred with contentment. I blinked against the overload to my senses, clenching my hands into tight fists at my sides.

The mate bond was no joke.

It took a moment of focus to reign in the urge to run around his room and rub myself against everything.

Once I was in control of myself again, I took the opportunity to look around. His space wasn't what I expected it to be. There weren't any weapons displays and it wasn't dark and broody.

His room was bright and lively, deep purples, golden yellows, and turquoise fabrics. There was a beautiful canopy over his bed. Along one wall was a display of guitars; acoustic and electric, six strings and twelve strings.

I glanced back at Casimir, and he was watching me with a quiet vulnerability.

"My mother was fond of music. It was the one thing she taught me."