pain.
the greatest and most unappreciate gift that society ever receive
it coexist with love,happiness and the twin of our life
but
why we hate pain,why we despise it so much.why we try to buried it in the pit of our mind
where it serve us a lesson,a hundredth truth of our self
ha.ha.ha.ha.ha
im insane,im crazy,im super crazy
is this my first thought in delightful morning?
pain,again?
my bed is messy,my phone is dead,and my right arm is numb like something electrifying it
my neck is in pain, I feel like I got stiff neck today
what a good morning is it?
I expected some sunny,bird chipping and sunlight beaming my face
but no.
a rain water sliding down on the crack of window panel
a gray dark sky,what a depressed scenario
and this house is quiet feels like no is home
thursday,8am.
deep sigh as I enter this room
full of people I hated so much
no option,but to swallow and accept my fate
only 3 months,only 3 months we are done
listen,bored,listen,note,listen,cheat
I wonder if our teacher is tired of this lesson as much as we do
can we agree that this lesson will vanish in our mind after this class
pain already teach us the lesson of life
self,taught us we are useless
us,taught us we are impossible
but we are here, wasting our life
3pm.
now I can walk to my house not a home
while traveling to this lane
I realize
something.
This passerby is living a life
I wonder who are they
where they live
are they sad
happy
angry
Sonder -noun. the realization that each random people is living a life as vivid and complex as your own." - The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.
well, it's none of my business what are they doing
4pm
house
again in my room,change my clothes and take a nap
9pm
wake up feeling in other dimension
who am i?
where am i?
the outside is already dark
this house is quiet
I think someone watching me in window
peak outside the room
i think they already sleeping
Im hungry
in this dim lit kitchen,where once hosted a numerous occasions
birthday
anniversary
wedding
you name it
see what food is in this fridge
eat
thanks for this food, a cold food
go back to my room
time to hit my assignment
what is this
did they even teach this thing
12am
I need to sleep now
but this thing never let me
what do you want
reflect again my life?
im tired
just this day let me rest
no.
look to yourself
how ugly you are
the acne
the eyebag
remember every detail to your body
this is why i hate myself
continuing thinking all my flaw
you satisfied
now let me sleep
YOU ARE READING
in the story of teenage mind
Cerita Pendekwe still don't know why we are here . . . . but we already know we want something new
