Smeared

×28×

The next few hours passed in what felt like a few seconds. Cassius had left me as he had some urgent business to attend to but not before bringing me a chair so that I could sit out on the balcony. He had also wrapped another blanket around me and told me to go back inside the moment that I got cold.

"Your Grace, there is someone here to see you." A young servant girl interupped my thoughts from behind me as she quivered like a frightened animal while she bowing her head low.

I glanced over my shoulder, the morning breeze caused my hair to softly brush against my tear stained cheeks. "I do not wish to be disturbed." My voice felt coarse against my throat.

The servant quickly nodded and then scurried out of the room. I was alone again but this was unfortunately short lived as the same servant came back seconds later.

"Apologies, your Grace, but the young Lord is insistent." The servant did not dare lift her gaze.

Before I could even respond, a tall figure pushed into the room behind her. His blood shot eyes and disheveled hair told me everything I needed to know.

"You may leave us." I softly dismissed the now terrified looking servant who was out the room before I could even blink.

Archibald had his arms wrapped around me within seconds as he lifted me up. It was as if flood gates had opened as suddenly my vision was completely disrupted by the onslaught of tears falling down my cheeks as I buried my head in his chest. The heartache felt awful as I weeped in his arms.

"I... He..." I choked out, the words clogged in my throat fighting to escape but to no avail.

"I know." Archie whispered. I could hear the pain through his voice as he held onto me tighter. Eventually we pulled apart once I had calmed down a bit.

"He will be buried this afternoon..." Archibald began breaking the silence. His words were still soft as if he was trying to mask his pain.

The reality of his words made the air in the room feel so heavy. I felt so suffocated to the point that I had to force myself to breathe.

"I... I have to go now." Archie momentarily closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to regain his composure. "Send for me if you need me."

I gave a small nod before Archibald left the room. I was grateful to him for coming to see me. More so than I would ever tell him.

"Pardon me, your Grace," the servant from earlier spoke, "I have brought you your meal."

"I do not wish to eat."

"You have to-!" She caught herself mid speech, her sudden loudness caused me to look towards her, "Uh.. I mean, his Grace has insisted that you do."

"The Duke?"

"Yes."

"What is your name?" I could not help but ask the strange girl. She could not have been older than me.

"Nora." She twiddled her thumbs nervously, "Your Grace, if I have done anything to offend you -"

"You have not." I reassured her.

"I still must beg for your forgiveness. I heard what happened to the others that wronged you so please spare me." She fell to her knees.

"Nora." I called, "Please listen to me." I knelt down in front of her. "I assure you that you have done nothing wrong."

She glanced up, her eyes now teary.

"I do not know what happened to bring you to such a state but please know that I did not mean to startle you in the slightest."

"Do you mean it, Your Grace? You will not have me punished or worse dismissed from my station?"

"Why would I ever do that?" I was confused.

"Your Grace?" Nora blinked a few times as of she were confused at my confusion. "The manor has been in an uproar all morning. So many have been dismissed..."

"Whatever for?" I knew that I should not be concerned with the affairs of the estate but curiosity got the better of me especially now with the very nervous and quivering servant in front of me.

"The Duke has personally ordered a report from every single person who works for his household and um..." She looked around nervously.

"Go on."I urged.

"The reports are regarding you, your Grace. Apparently if the Duke does not like what he finds it can go one of two ways; punishment or dismissal."

Why was Cassius Waisend doing all of this? I understood that he was unaware of my mistreatment in his household but to go this far just for me? I did not understand the Duke and his motives nor did I wish to. Cassius could do whatever he wants, it does not involve me.

"I have no say in what actions the Duke may take but please be assured that I have no quarrels with you Nora." I stood up and moved towards the bulcany once again, my eyes staring off into the distance as the heart ache and pain of loss began to resurface.

"Thank you, your Grace." I heard Nora from behind me, "Please allow me to serve you your meal."

"I remind you that I do not wish to eat." I mumbled not bothering to face her. I wanted to be left alone right now. I was tired.

"Your Grace, I am afraid I must beg you."

Before I could respond, I heard the church bells chime in the distance. My heart ached.

"Nora." I called finally turning back to face her, "Do you perhaps know where I could get some clothing suitable for heading out?"

Nora's eyes widened, "Your Grace, do you not know? The Duke has an entire wardrobe filled to the brim with clothing just for you." She rushed to the side of the room opening what I assumed was a cupboard at first glance only to be revealed to be an entire room full of clothing.

I walked towards it, my hand skimming over the different textures of all the clothing only to stop when I reached for a black dress. It was a modest enough for what I intended. A mourning dress.

Nora seemed slightly uncomfortable when I pulled it out. I sure she knew the exact reason why I had chosen it but nevertheless she helped me change into it.

"Although you wear sadness right now, you wear it so beautifully." Nora complemented me as she skillfully did my hair. I softly thanked her not believing her flattery for a second.

It was not long before I found myself at the gates of the cemetery with Nora at my side. Something had definitely changed in the Waisend estate as I was being treated completely differently. Everytime I walked past a servant or guard, they seemed to get nervous and alert and now not only did I now have Nora but I was given the opportunity to take one of the Waisend carriages where ever I wished to go.

"Will you not go in?" Nora cautiously asked.

I did not answer for I could not bare it. I could see the small gathering of people in the distance as the surrounded a freshly covered grave.

I could not tear my eyes away as each second felt like a stab to my body. Small gasps left my lips as I began to crumble no longer able to bare the pain that came with Rourke's loss.

I felt like I was suffocating in that moment as each breath I took burned my throat. I reached out my hand to touch the cold steel of the gate as I tired desperately and pathetically to reach my dear brother for one final moment.

Don't leave me Rourke...

Please. I'm begging you.

I don't want to be alone.

Im afraid...

Just then I felt warm arms wrap behind me and pull me into an embrace. He held me so tightly yet gently as I broke down in his arms.

"Shhh." Cassius calmly whispered in my ear, "Breathe slowly, you will be okay."