Seductive Deception

Chapter 27

Allegra worked three times as hard as usual, which meant she worked herself to the bone; her fingers cracked and bled, her back ached, and her eyes were sore.

She grumbled, folded herself into a ball, and prayed she could rest for a few hours before getting up and doing it all over again.

Allegra gave a lot of thought to the proposal she marry Barrett. Perhaps she could grow to love him. It didn't seem too different from the situation she would have encountered had she continued growing up in the aristocracy, forced into a pre-arranged marriage.

However, she discarded the idea quickly, knowing it was fruitless as they both were in love with different people— she with Morgan and he with Louisa.

Perhaps she could run away. If Louisa had good prospects within the peerage, she could leave the rest to Lady Ambrosia and move somewhere else, like Scotland, or maybe somewhere with mild weather, like Spain or Italy. But she didn't speak the language and didn't have the kind of money that would allow her to live her life free from poverty.

Besides, she had customers here and a reliable income. She'd promised herself she would never give any of that up, and here she was, questioning all of it.

But wasn't it all for the greater good? Morgan couldn't marry her anyways. Earls married within their peerage. And in a twist of fate, they'd been made yin and yang yet again, forever apart. Their past indiscretions coming back to forever haunt them. She groaned.

"I love Morgan," she said aloud, acknowledging the truth of it. "I love him," she said again as if saying it aloud made it easier to understand. Not that it made it any easier to accept.

She'd known it for a long time, even before he returned. And when she saw him again, when he'd held her in the dower house, it was as if they were back to the moment they'd said goodbye to one another, as if time never passed. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, imagining the warmth and security, even at that moment.

She wanted to strip herself of her disguise, run off to the Cotswolds' and start a life with Morgan as herself. Or perhaps even envision herself as someone entirely new, someone who could marry Morgan, someone whose life wasn't embedded in Somers Town, and to Louisa to Virginia (which she never went by and instead much preferred Ginny) and Barrett and her dreams of opening her dress shop one day.

If she were someone else, she could marry Morgan in a small church, where they'd take picnics at a charming village square, spend their days working in their garden and make love as the sun went down. They'd take their children to the river to teach them how to skip stones and fly kites and read them bedtime stories as they were tucked neatly into beds, each in a row, a fire roaring in the fireplace in the background. She would spend whatever free time she had knitting, sewing, and opening her modiste for the locals, and he could spend his time renovating and building bridges, fences, and tiny homes.

She allowed herself the freedom of the daydream as she closed her eyes, envisioning herself far off in some other time and life.

But a loud clang and a slam of something downstairs made her jump. What in the world?

Allegra crept off the bed and cracked the door, pressing her ear to it.

"You're not leaving."

"I have to."

"But what if you don't come back."

"I'll be back, and by then, you'll be married and settled down and with child, and life will go on for us as it was always intended. As you know, it should. You deserve much more than I can ever give you."