Tie My Heartstring's ❦

shadows

Trigger warning: rape

Hudson

Anger sends a rush of heat through me as I wrap my arm around her legs and lift her, her long brown hair hanging lifelessly. Why'd she have to ruin this? Her head rolls to rest against me, and tear tracks wet on her cheeks from her previous struggle. I look away quickly in the direction of where my car is parked. Thankfully, the streets are dark. And empty. I can't have anyone questioning me right now, I will explode.

Sitting down in the driver's seat, her head comes to rest on my lap. She has hair for days, the color of cinnamon. I go to slide my fingers through her silky strands. How can I not admire her every second, when she is this perfect? Her long black eyelashes rest on her cheeks untouched by makeup. Natural lips. She looks innocent and doll-like, though she is anything but.

Why did I take her? It's because I want her, I remind myself. More than I've ever wanted anyone. Because as much as I told myself never to let it get this far, I selfishly wanted it to. I stayed playing the perfect part because, having her felt good. More than good.

So if having her is what I've always wanted—why am I fighting it? If I am greed and she is my indulgence, why shouldn't I suck every last bit from her? I've risked it all to have her, so I should get it all. And I must say, having her back in my arms brings out a deep, unnerving fire in my groin. I'd be lying if I said it isn't impairing my decisions.

I look down again, she looks so peaceful, so vulnerable. Her breathing grows slightly shallow as I speed through traffic. My chest tightens with the thought of the sedative I gave her after I knocked her out. I couldn't help but need to make sure she would be out for a while. But something in me doesn't settle well at the idea of hearing her struggle for breath. This is all her fault. I repeat over and over. She left me, she gave up on us. The traffic crawls along, as we make our way further and further out of the city.

Finally, we approach where I plan to keep her. Just a little way outside of the city. The engine idles with a low hum, and the car slows to a stop. I carry her limp body inside, careful not to wake her. The cabin is in a secluded area. It used to be my parents, before they died.
I have always had money. Family money. I got it all once they died. So work was never something I needed to do. But a strong work ethic was instilled in me since I was born. I couldn't just sit around. But now I have someone under my watch, someone who distracts my thoughts all day instead of work. I place her gently on the worn chair, in the bedroom. I bind her wrists together with ropes in case she attempts to attack me when she awakes.

Something tells me from how she acted earlier, she won't be on her best behavior. And I am not angry with her for trying to leave me in such a rage. I feel sorry for her. It must be so hard to carry all that anger around. I don't have that kind of anger in me. She was so vicious and I wish I could reach inside of her and suck the venom out.

I leave her a plastic bottle of water, fresh clothes, and a granola bar on the dresser if she needs much later. It's not like she can ever say I starved her or deprived her. She's safe. She's taken care of. As I patiently wait for her to wake, I send Alice and her father the same brief message from her phone.

Katie: Things have been stressful. I can't take it all anymore. I really need privacy and space, and to think. I'm running away from it all to relax for a few days. Love you. Don't worry about me.

There are so many things for us to do. So many experiences I can't wait to show her. "I'm never letting you
go," I whisper, stroking her cinnamon locks, fanned across her face. I can't help but feast my eyes on her again. Slowly, she opens those startling eyes of hers.