i hate you. Miles Morales 42 x black reader

Why can't you change?

"No. I'm not doing shit." the girl says immediately after recognizing my face. "Nia-" "Fuck no. After what you did? I'm never helping you or looking into something for you ever again." Her tone is harsh and firm. She pushes up her glasses, crossing her arms. "Nia, how long have we known each other?" "How long did you lie to me and put me and my family in danger Miles? Or how many times did I help you commit your bullshit?"

 I roll my eyes as she puts her manicured fingers on the doorknob to shut it, shut me out of her life...again. This was a cycle, I would come to her asking her to do something for me, we would fight, she would forgive me and agree to what I was asking,  I would hurt her eventually, and she would tell me to never call her again. One thing I could always admire about Nia is that she was always so naive-, I mean forgiving and compassionate.

"Nia wait. Just let me in, please?" My voice is pleading. She pauses closing the door and looks at me, her eyes showing the tiniest bit of sympathy. I take a second to analyze her features, noticing her extremely dark brown eyes. Her eyes look tired, the bags under her eyes showing. I remember what Nia was like 4 years ago, when she was full of sunshine. She used to be so hyper that she pissed me off at times, a stark contrast to her mundane personality now.

 After a excruciatingly long 30 seconds, she opens the door and lets me into her apartment, shutting her door forcefully. "Ni-" "Don't fucking start. I'm done with your bullshit. I told you to never contact me again, I block you on everything, and you still come back. Why? Because you can't find anyone else to help you commit your crimes?" She spits out with venom. "Stop acting like you didn't agree to helping me." I shoot back. Nia takes in a deep, sharp breath. 

"You used me! I didn't fully know what I was agreeing to! You didn't explicitly tell me that I was helping you commit crimes against the public!" "It was implied." Her eyebrows furrow and she gasps in offense, almost like she's amused at my words. "How so?" "I asked you to give me a floorplan of a very specific bank. You should've assumed that I was gonna rob it." I shrug my shoulders almost like it was obvious. 

"I'm so sorry for thinking that you wouldn't rob a bank! I'm so sorry for thinking that you aren't a terrible person!" She elevates her voice with every word. "You fuckin' disgust me! Do you know how much blood you have on your hands? How many people you killed?"

I seriously sit there in deep thought, trying to remember how many people I actually killed. Well see, I stopped counting after 15, but my estimate is around 60? It's not that bad alright? Put together, it looks terrible but do the math. I've been the prowler since I was 14. I'm 20 currently, so that means I've been active for 6 years. So if you divide 60 by 6, that means I kill about 10 people per year.

"Those people deserve it Nia." Tears well up in her eyes. "But who decides that? You? What about their families? The people who get hit in the crossfire of your attacks. Did they deserve it? Did my sister deserve it?" My face falls. I remember Astoria's death 2 years ago like it was yesterday. Astoria Alore was a rookie that just got her internship at the NYPD. Unc told me to blow up the building to get rid of any and all evidence on the prowler. I didn't know she was in there. If I did, I swear on everything I love that I would've gotten her out.

Nia's mom died when she gave birth to her and her dad developed depression, turning to alcohol and drugs to ease his pain. I guess he thought that his relief would be in the bottom of the bottle, but it never came. Her sister and her friends were the only things that were stable in her life, until I hurt her. "Nia..." I try to calm her down before she loses her shit. She sniffles. "When will it be enough for you Miles? You string me into your life of crime, you kill my sister, I save your ass because I don't tell the police who the prowler is, and you still want more. Just leave me alone!" Her voice breaks and the tears start falling down her cheeks.