i hate you. Miles Morales 42 x black reader

Sweet as sugar.

I smooth my moistened palms against my skirt before placing my hands on the metal handle on the door. The door is a dark wash of wood with a gigantic golden sign, reading "dean's office".  I'm met with Miss O'Connell's face as her eyes slowly lock with mine. She immediately puts down the stack of documents in her hands, the papers being so heavy that they cause a loud thump to occur. 

"Miss [l/n}, I'm so glad that you came. Come sit." She gestures to the simple office chair on the other side of her desk. My legs feel shaky and frozen at the same time, but I take a deep breath and walk over to the chair, pulling it out and sitting on it. "As we know, I called you here to discuss your tuition payments." I nod in agreement, the woman seeing it as a sign to continue.

"You are behind in two of your payments now, and I kindly gave you an extension for both but I cannot help you any longer. I cannot give you any more extensions." She says sharply, and straight to the point. "You owe the school a total of 2,500 dollars." I quickly interject. "With financial aid?" She sighs. "Yes, without the financial aid you would owe 5,000. You must give this payment as of two weeks from today." 

"Two weeks-? I need to be able to afford food and gas and rent! Are you absolutely positive there's nothing you can do? You can't give me another extension or a payment plan or something?" "I'm sorry, but when I say my hand are tied, my hands are truly bound together." My leg starts bouncing as I take heavier breaths. "What happens if I can't meet the deadline?" Mrs. O'Connell pushes her glasses up as her eyes darken. "Then you will no longer be a student at Brooklyn University."

My eyes soften and I purse my lips. Picking up my bag, I stand up and push the chair in. "I understand. I hope to get the payment in." I walk out of her office, hearing my heart beat extremely loud. I eventually finish the painfully long walk to my car, and the tears start to flood my eyes.  

[junior year of Brooklyn Visions Academy]

"[y/n] have you been thinking about what you wanna major in for college?" My mom asks me. I sigh. College. So many people have asked me what I want to do in life, but the honest truth? I don't know. I don't know what I want to major in. Ever since I was a child, I always had an abundance of interests. Nothing really resonated with me though. I wasn't an art kid, athletic kid, music kid, theater kid, video game kid, reading kid, because I liked doing it all. I would bounce around from hobby to hobby to hobby.

"Ma, I don't know if I even want to go to college. I don't know what I wanna do." Her face gets more serious as a look of disapproval spreads across her features. "Listen to me [y/n] [l/n], you need to sit down and figure out what you wanna do, because you're going to college." "But Ma-" "No. I've worked too damn hard for what? For my eldest child to not pursue an education? Do you wanna end up like your father? Do you wanna be stuck in this neighborhood for the rest of your life because you have no money? Do you wanna live with your mother for the rest of your life. You will go to college, and that it final. You hear me?" Her words get more passionate as  more of them come out of her mouth.  

I know there's no room for discussion on this. I sigh. "No, ma. I don't." I say, making my voice softer than it was before. "That's what I thought. Now start thinking about your major." She leaves my room. I already decided that I would go to the closet university possible, but still get my own apartment. It's not that I didn't like my mom or she was abusive or anything, she was just a stressed woman trying to make it for her kids so they would be better off than she was. That could get demanding. Two years later I decided that I would major in business. It would get me somewhere one day, or at least I hope so. Now? Everything my mom worked for, everything I  worked for would be stripped from under my feet. I thought I finally made it. I guess the struggle never ends though.