Once Upon A Journal

Chapter Six

All throughout my walk, my mind is racing for answers. How did she find out? How did I not know? How did Marcus know? Does that mean she told everyone about my journal?

The last question makes me want to bury myself six feet under. What am I going to do if everyone knows?

I look at Alex with his back to me. Does he know?

We slow down once we reach the terrace, far away from the hallway and the school grounds. The air is cooler here, a slight breeze brushing against my face, carrying with it the faint scent of roses from the garden below. The terrace feels secluded and peaceful, and I can see why this is Alex's favorite spot in this school.

Despite the wind, my face feels raw, and I hate that at this moment I have to face him with my feelings barely concealed under my mask of pretense. My heart is pounding so hard that I can hear it in my ears.

"Why did you bring me here?" I finally muster up my courage to speak.

He raises his eyebrow. "Feel free to leave," he motions towards the door. "I am sure the others would really love to have you there."

"Did you... umm read my journal?" I ask, ignoring whatever he said just now.

"You want the truth?" he asks, looking incredulous. "Imagine my surprise when my inbox was flooded with photos of your journal from Gianna while I was attending my class."

"So... everyone knows about me?" My stomach churns and I feel nauseated imagining their reactions.

"I am sure not everyone. Only our class. For now," he adds, the last part feeling like a punch to the gut.

You didn't have to add the last part, I want to say, but there are important things in my mind that I have to ask.

"When did she send you the photos?"

"See... that's why you shouldn't keep your phone at the library-"

"Phones are a source of distraction if you didn't know. But I am sure you know by now," I say, trying to keep my cool and refrain myself from exploding. "Give me your phone."

"Just say please then I'll consider."

"You know what, I have a phone. I'll take it from the library."

Just then something clicks in my mind. Library... that was when.... As I was walking down the hallway and Gianna asked for my notes, that was when she found out. Oh my god. How can I be so stupid that I forgot to protect my biggest secret? I bury my face in my hands, desperately trying to figure out what to do next.

"Juliette, are you okay?" Alex asks. There's a softness to his voice that I haven't heard before.

Right now, I don't want anyone's sympathy, especially not his.

"You don't have to worry about me," I say looking up to face him. My words come out stronger than I intended. A flicker of hurt crosses his face, gone as quickly as it appeared. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," I add hurriedly, my voice softer, hoping to smooth over the moment.

And just like that his expression hardens. His mouth tugs up in a mocking smile, his grey eyes glittering.

He scoffs "Hurt me? You think too highly of yourself. But I think you forgot what you actually wrote about me? "

"Shut up." I say, already knowing where it's heading.

But of course he doesn't care. If anything, he seems more determined to continue.
"From what I recall, you wrote paragraphs about how attractive I am and how unfair it is because it distracts you. Oh, and how can I forget about the fact that you find my gaze too intense and whenever I look at you you're overwhelmed." He drawls and I am sure my face looks pale.

My heart beats faster than normal but I don't say anything. I just stand there frozen.

"So, you write that about everyone you hate, huh?" He mocks, mouth lifting to one side.

I can't say anything because it's true, I did write it. My embarrassment is off the roof with my face becoming paler with each passing moment. I resented his memory before but now I resent it even more. How can he remember so much when it hasn't even been a day since Gianna found out about my journal?

"You know what Juliette? I don't think you hate me," he fixes his eyes, stepping closer until his lips are against my ears, close enough but not touching."I think you are obsessed with me."

"That's enough," I try to say despite my humiliation and shove him away, hating the feel of the hard lean muscles of his stomach against my hands.I hate him, I hate him so much that I can't think of anything else when he's here.

"Come on, don't be embarrassed," he laughs, making my face heat up.

“I am sick of you. I hate you so much, just leave me alone," It comes out louder than I intended, destroying the serenity of the atmosphere. My voice feels raw as if I have run a hundred miles.

And just like flipping a switch, the teasing glint in his eyes vanishes instantly and his face becomes impassive.

He steps away from me and towards the door. "Don't worry I was just about to leave," he says. "And I hate you too," he adds and I am not sure why it hurts to hear that.

I don't watch him go, instead I cover my face with my hands and internally scream with all my willpower.

What was I even thinking of writing something like that? Oh God, I just want the world to swallow me up and never let me out again. How am I going to face him after this?

Trying to think of something else, I look at the sky and the birds and try to reassure myself that my situation isn't that bad and that no one is going to remember this tomorrow.

But it's like saying you're not going to die if you jump off a fifty-story building. It's utterly delusional and not even close to reality.

I squeeze my eyes and try to calm myself down but it doesn't require much intelligence to know that I am completely and utterly screwed.

I want to thank everyone who is reading this story. I hope you like Alex and Juliette.

Thank you ♡'･ᴗ･'♡