Once Upon A Journal

Chapter Eight

The walk to the Principal’s office feels like walking on hot coal and all I want to do is run. But Ms. Johnson is right beside me, her arms crossed, silently warning me not to cause anymore trouble.

It hurts that, despite being a good student, excelling in extracurriculars and serving as the school captain, my one stupid mistake has ruined everything or at least my student image, something which is really important to me.

When I reach Ms. Morgan's office, I have to force myself to knock and somehow manage to say “May I come in?” It reminds me of those awkward moments when your family forces you to get on stage and dance when you are eight. It's really an inevitable embarrassment, something you hate but have to do anyway.

“Yes, Juliette. I was waiting for you,” Ms. Morgan replies from behind her desk, which is buried under what seems like hundreds of piles of paperwork. The way she sits reminds me of an ancient emperor and I am the peasant awaiting the death sentence. And of course, the last line is among the top ten worst things you can hear from your principal at times like this.

Tentatively, I walk towards her and take the seat opposite her. She doesn't say anything, only flips through the latest magazine with disinterest. Her spectacles perch on the bridge of her nose, her hair the colour of the moon and her signature red lips give her the look of every villain in every teen movie. I am just waiting to see if she is the hero or villain in my story.

My heart is on my throat and I am sweating from places I never knew I could. Even breathing feels difficult. Right now, the golden welcome cat on her desk, with its paw waving slowly, feels mocking as if it's saying “Hail the Emperor.”

“Uh… Ms. Morgan..” I say, the words barely passing my lips.

For a moment she doesn't reply, then she looks up from her magazine, her eyes holding a kind of pity that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. “I am sorry to say I am disappointed in you Juliette."

“I am sorry, Ms. Morgan,” I say, my voice wavering by the end.

“It's not me you should be sorry to.” I can practically feel the disappointment in her voice, making me want to throw up. “Your writings contain many insulting things about your fellow peers and even your teachers. Any form of violence be it verbal or physical is not accepted in this school. I know you are a good student but even this can't save me.”

This can't save me? What does she mean by that? Is she going to expel me?

“I am sorry Ms. Morgan. Please try to understand that I didn't mean anyone to find out about it.”

"Juliette, I can't do anything, your writings broke our school's code of conduct. Even if it was something personal, using words like murder isn't acceptable," she says, taking her time punctuating the word murder, making me want to bury myself under her paperworks. "Besides, you should apologise to the staff and your classmates, especially Alex. Your writings about him were quite... bold, to say the least," Mrs. Morgan says, her voice trailing off with a hint of discomfort.

I want to sink into the floor. She wasn’t supposed to read that, nor was anyone else. Why is this happening to me?

"But it was private.I never intended for others to read it.”

"Despite that, we have to suspend you. Your writings caused a lot of distress to students and staff. It wouldn't be fair to them otherwise."

Suspend? The word hits me like a punch to the gut. My future feels like it's crumbling—perfect scores, the perfect student image, being school captain—all slipping away.

"I didn’t—"

"It’s final. You may leave now."

I can't leave. Not today. Not when everything I’ve worked for is slipping away because of some stupid mistake. If I get suspended, I won't be able to get into a good university. And if I can't go to a good university, how will I face others? Most importantly, how will I face myself?