Dreaming of Rebelling (Destiel Highschool AU)

Dean's Intro: Why?

Shivers are sent up my legs and up my spine.
Frigid ice bites my bare feet.
My reflection is visible but hazey in the black, transparent liquid.
When will I quit this journey?
When will I stop pacing on these Siberian waters?
Will this frozen water thaw?
And if it does, will I drown in the remains?
My arms are spread.
I walk to heal to toe.
Will this be the day I pierce the veil?
Or will this weakening ice hold me for longer?
Cool, lucid clouds spill from my lips.
Bumps on my body begin to raise.
My eyes form a glassy film over the green hue.
Should I brake the ice?
Should I end this melancholic walk myself?
Shall I be pronounced perished by my own doing?
My eyes lower.
My body trembles at the bitter breeze bitting at my flesh.
The thoughts put my self-worth in a depressing undergo.
I mustn't break the ice.
For it is already damaged.
I shall not stride on the frozen waters of my past.
My future is no longer in sight.
My sanity is fogged with suicidal tendencies.
Maybe I shall fracture the ice.
Cut into ever so lightly.
Only enough for my past to leak through in a red manifestation.
Small slits in the ice.
But when those slits are put in the ice, they form on my pale skin.
Dozens of small openings.
My red past leaking through, dyeing the ice crimson.
So I am left with the cold air mixing with the warm liquid of my past.
My sight going black.
My body becoming weak.
The impact of my body to the ice shattered it.
Freezing waves engulf me.
I scream, but the liquid makes its way into my mouth, silencing me in a harsh way.
Fading sight.
I give up.
Let it take me.
Let me touch the blade of Deaths syth.
But instead, I am met with the blue of a pair of eyes.
Hair made of raven feathers and a soul of broken smiles.
I could see past the grin and I could grip the flaws.
But the flaws kept the raven haired person on their feet.
We touch and I knew.
I could feel it sink into my chest and burst through out my body.
I loved them.
They taught me how to float.
How to drift from the past.
And forgive myself.
Forgive my past.
But I don't know this being.
Who is this person I have come to care about so deeply?
Who I dream about every mournful night?
How can this go on?

I close my leather journal. The very one that held my darkest secrets, fears, and stories. No one knew I had it. I simply kept it under the floor boards. These dreams. So vivid, so descriptive, yet so vague and so little to go on.

I tapped my pencil on my warped wooden desk as the sun began to ascend. Why am I in love with some one I don't know? No name. No face. Just eyes. Why would I give my pathetic life to a nameless being? Why? Why? Why? It was eating me from the inside. Tearing me apart. Why? I cold rip my hair out. Blow up half the world. I needed to know why! Questions flowed in my head. Killing me softly. Engulfing me whole. My comprehension blurring. 5:30 am. No sleep except for that 45 minute nightmare. School time.