Dreaming of Rebelling (Destiel Highschool AU)

I Found Him, but I'm Still Lost

Hey-o my fellow humans. I'm sorry I haven't updated. Anyways, I deleted the smut chapter because I feel like I made the decision to publish it to early and I'm writing this chapter now.

Deans POV

He is right here in my arms
But I feel nothing
My cheep smiles are beginning to break more
He is beginning to notice how broken I am
The pieces of me that are falling apart
The pieces of me that have been missing
Only he can tell because I've let him in
I've got to close to something so precious the me
To my overall happiness
But it feels like he doesn't care about me even though I know he does
But I can't help but wonder
I can't help but think he doesn't love me
This anxiety eats me whole

I closed the the book softly. I let my fingers linger over the aged leather. Letting my mind wonder into dark places. Letting it drift into the past.

"Would you hurry the fuck up. It's school time. We are already late you fucking moron." Sammy bitched.

I had no energy to go to school. I barley had any energy to get up. It's been only three weeks of school and I'm already not feeling it. I just want to run. Run from the dimmed hallways and stress. I want to get away from the whores trying to get in my pants and the fuckbois acting like what's in my pants. I just want a moment to breathe.

"Get in the car Sammy, I'll be right down." I pulled on a faded AC/DC shirt and old jeans. Not bothering to do my hair or brush my teeth. I grabbed my keys and went out to my beloved baby. Sam was impatiently waiting and was about ready to explode.

"You're not going to school dressed as a hobo are you?" He gave me bitchface number 2. The you are a disgusting slob bitchface. 

"I actually plan on wearing this to prom." I fake chuckled. He just huffed and rolled his eyes. "I'm cutting...Class that is..." I just looked ahead at the road as I stated the engine. The familiar purr of the impala rumbled through the seats.

"Have fun. I'll be at Gabriel's after school." He yelled as soon as we showed up at school and he hopped out of the car. I saw Castiel in front of the car. He looked in and saw me. Then he ran around to the passengers side.

"You not feelin' school or something?" He asked as he hopped in.

"I was gonna cut....school." I looked over at his blue eyes. "You could ditch with me if you want." I grabbed his hand. The warmth helped the numbness I felt inside. He helped.

"I would be honored to." He scooted a little closer to me and leaned his head on my shoulder, our hands still connected.

The grey skies began to rain the familiar translucent bullets. They softly got the windshield, forming a soft rhythm to listen too. We sat in silence.

"I love it when it rains. Especially here. It's fun to experience these new things." Cas whispered, not wanting to disturb the rhythm. 

"You don't mind getting a little wet do you then?" I whispered back.

"I suppose not."

***

"Here we are."  I stopped the car near a lake.

"This is really close to my house." Cas got out of the car. It was nice to smell the rain on the dirt.

"Oh no shit. I grew up around here. I used to come here with my dad and we'd fish on this dock over here. I was only 4 so I barely remember. But I remember it was fun. And sorta relaxing I guess. I just wanted to see if it was still here." I wonder towards the the and sat on the edge of the dock. Cas sat next to me. I liked the sight of the rain hitting the water. But I loved the sight of Cas in deep thought. His blue eyes standing out in the grey of the mist. He looked so beautiful.

"Watcha staring at?" I hadn't noticed I was staring.

"I'm just taking in the view." Which was true. He was all I ever needed. But I just felt so numb. To numb to feel anything. I just want to feel something.

Cas' POV

Splash

"What the fuck?" I looked down to see a huge splash and to my side to see a missing Dean.

"Dean?" I just saw bubbles

"Dean?!" More bubbles

"Holy fuck DEAN!" I don't know how to fucking swim. But let's do this shit. I jumped in after him. The cold water hit me like a truck. I couldn't find Dean. I held my breath and swam into the water. Swimming was harder in human form. And so was holding my breathe.

I felt arms on my sides and something pulling me up.

"Cas its okay. I'm okay." A soaked Dean was swimming right next to me. His face full of water droplets. His eyes standing out of the grey mist. He was just beautiful. I swam a little closer to him and kissed him.

"I thought you fucking died you piece of shit." I hit his chest.

"I'm okay, angel." Oh my he called me angel and he has no idea how right he is.

Deans POV

That's what I needed. That blast of feeling. Not the water. But Cas' lips on mine. The burning sensation in my chest, my heart racing, the melting feeling. It was perfect. He was perfect. And that's why I needed him, why dreamt about him, why I love him.

"I love you." We whispered at the same time.