Boss's Woman - Regretful Hero

Chapter 1

I was not very sure about going forward with this crazy idea. This place seemed even bigger and scarier than yesterday when I came here for the first time. I did the membership almost the same minute I entered here and didn't give my brain the chance to react to my crazy move. But now I wondered if I should have thought better about all the implications. 

I had my nose smashed on the glass door and I was trying to see if the people inside seemed nice and harmless. Besides the fact everybody seemed fit and gorgeous, no one looked dangerous or mean, even if some of the men looked built like houses. Why do they want to look so giant, anyway?

I wondered about this and tried, at the same time, to make excuses for why I should just run away back to my home. Gyms are scary and dangerous... Running is still an exercise. There must be some scientific research about deaths in gyms somewhere. All sorts of embarrassing things can happen in there too. People can fall, pants can burst and necks can get broken. The possibilities were limitless. 

You know, what? I should go home. buy some burgers and fries, watch television and sleep. This urge to start exercising would die soon, I was sure. I was sweating and didn't even enter the place yet, for crying out loud! Gyms are not made for fat people.

My heart was beating fast and the instinct to ride for safety was so powerful I tried to retreat and to walk back to my place when an annoyed voice sounded behind me.

"Are you entering, lady?" A hot blond with a tattoo on his neck asked, making me jump and look at him in wonder. I could feel myself flushing with embarrassment. He was raising his brows at me like I was preventing him from arriving at an important meeting. Maybe the fact I was blocking the door was the problem...

"Uhhg, sorry, of course." See?? I am already embarrassing myself! The blond didn't give me a second glance. I stepped aside to let him pass and he immediately opened the door to enter. He didn't even offer to let me pass. I followed after him and I almost got hit on my face by the door, because he didn't care to hold it for me. I prevented the door from crashing by putting a hand to stop it. That was the kind of attention I received from men. None at all.

I was the chubby girl, boys didn't look twice. When I was in high school, the kids would give me all kinds of hurtful names, not minding at all if it made me suffer or not. I was just the round girl no boy wanted to date or to take care of. 

I always dreamed about being petite, to have a boy carry me without any effort; to be smaller than every male and to not weigh as much. When I watched movies or read books, it hurt me a bit to see how dainty and tiny the heroines were portrayed. They could sit in a man's lap without any problem; and could be lifted or tossed on their shoulder with not much effort. If a boy tried to toss me on his shoulder, someone better call an ambulance for him.

I knew I was not this giant monster. I was about 87 kg/191 pounds to just 1,63m/5'3, but clothes didn't fit me well, I had a round belly, round thighs, and round arms. And my dream was to be less on all those things. I aspired to have a defined jaw and collarbone. Maybe if I had one of those, men would start to be more gentle and educated and give me a little bit more of their attention. 

I felt invisible sometimes. I considered myself pretty and didn't understand why men didn't find me attractive! I had light brown hair and blue eyes, but I didn't receive as much attention as the other small ladies. Some men would look at me with disgust.

I knew it was wrong of me to compare myself and to be so preoccupied with my appearance and attractiveness. But it was so cruel to be surrounded by all these powerful sources who would tell me how big I was or how I needed to be a size 6, wear tight jeans, and have a flat stomach. I was lacking in all these departments.