Boss's Woman - Regretful Hero

Chapter 3

The definition of beautiful is very subjective.

It depends on the culture, generation, perspective and personal taste. Many things can be defined as beautiful for some and ugly for others. Some people can find delicate men really appealing, while others will always prefer the more masculine ones. There is a phrase that states men prefer blondes which is fairly debatable, really. But one thing I guess is not changeable at all is the fact the way one person perceives herself will influence all the important decisions in her life.

I wonder how many decisions were made based only on inner insecurity. To marry, not to marry. To date or not to date. To hold on, to give up... All decisions based on that little voice saying how frail and not worth we really are.

I might have heard this voice too many times now.

I find it difficult to believe Dimitri was... interested in me. He called me beautiful once and I don't know if he really understands the meaning of this word. It would be laughable to think about dating Dimitri, really. It was just insane.

I am now in my third month at the gym and have lost a total amount of 6 kilograms. I was feeling quite happy with myself, even if I thought I would be losing 20 kg by now... Nevertheless, I couldn't understand the logic behind Dimitri's strange behavior. He kept giving me special attention. He brought me this book with recipes he used and showed me the ones he preferred the most. I was stunned by the persistence of his attention. It was not like me to get this kind of reaction out of men.

I find myself looking at him with furrowed brows, wishing to ask directly to his face what he was thinking. Why would he appear out of nowhere to train with me for more than an hour? Why would he ask about my day, preferences, thoughts and desires, like it was the most normal thing to do? Why would he look at me like I was saying the most interesting things, when I was just rumbling about my routine? It was really peculiar. And it made me feel gushy inside.

Sometimes I saw him talking with Brenda too and it was just disturbing to feel this pang of jealousy in my heart, like I had the right to feel that way. It was just that... he was showing me I could receive attention. I could be noticed. I could be even beautiful... He said that I was already. Two weeks ago his exact words were: "You look so beautiful with your hair down. You should wear it like this more often. You are truly lovely, Charlie. I mean, if you don't mind me saying it."

He said all this when we finished our exercises and I was trying to arrange my hair the best way I could. He had a straight face and didn't seem at all fazed by my astonishment.

The thing I really wanted to know was... Why would Dimitri fancy me, if there were Brendas, Natalies and Jessicas, all gorgeous ladies from this gym, that sought his attention with vengeance? Why would he prefer me over them? There is no logical explanation.

Maybe he didn't mean to say I was beautiful, beautiful. Maybe he meant to say just pretty or something like that. Who really knows what this man is thinking?

I was about to enter the gym when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass. There was not any big difference in me, but I bought some new gym clothes that covered my butt and everything, but it was a little more stylized and fitted me better. I also decided not to hide my face behind a cap like I used to do all the time.

I was feeling better about myself after the loss of these 6 kilograms. It was not much but it burst my level of confidence and increased the desire to pursue a nicer, thinner body.

"Charlie," I heard Dimitri's voice calling my name, right behind me. "Good to see you. You look beautiful." He completed with a smile, opening the door for me and putting a hand on my back, inviting me to enter first. It was like... the first time he touched me out of the blue. And it tingled right where his hand was connected to me.