A Right Time

PROLOGUE

Getting older is realizing that there are alot of things that you'll experience, and also realizing that giving up will never be an option. Kapag sumuko ka, talo ka.

As we gained age, we'll experience alot of things, to the point that it makes us wonder if we are pursuing the right path, we also make impulsive decision that can either be a lesson or a trauma. But above all, we will always choose to see or look forward to the brighter side that life's give.

I sighed, and look at the cake infront of me with a 26 number candle above it. Matanda na nga talaga ako. I lit up the candle and make a wish before i blew it out, and smile. Birthday's doesn't give me excitement anymore.

Pagkatapos kong i-blow ang candle ay pinag slice ko na at ilinagay sa plato yung isang slice, I don't like so much sweets right now. Before i could even take a bite of my cake someone already entered my condo.

" Happiest Birthday to one of the devil bitch i know" it's Ivy. She smiled and ran to hug me and give me a paper bag.

" Thank you" saad ko at nginitian siya pero sinimangutan niya lang ako.

" I get it, birthdays doesn't give you excitement anymore, but still we will celebrate it okay? Bar tayo mamaya at ikaw ang manlilibre " she said and wiggle her eyebrows at me and smile, i just rolled my eyes to her.

" Whatever Ivy, i gotta go may pupuntahan lang ako" saad ko at siya naman ay dumiretso sa kwarto niya.

Ivy and I decided to live together para raw hati kami ng bills, pabor naman sakin 'yon since less din sa gastusin. She's a flight attendant and I on the other hand is a Accountant.

I can actually pay for my bills, but I'm saving up so i let her into my condo para na rin may kasama ako, we don't usually meet alot since pa iba iba ang schedule niya.

Kinuha ko yung regalo niya at tiningnan kung ano 'yon, It's a earrings.

I just smiled maganda talaga ang taste niya pagdating sa mga alahas.

" Bitch, thank youu so much!" i shouted and get my car key.

" May bayad 'yan tanga!" aniya pero tinawanan ko lang siya, i know it's a joke. Nagpaalam na rin ako na aalis muna ako.

I need to go somewhere.

Bumaba na ako ng condo namin at dumiretso sa parking area kung saan nakaparada yung kotse ko. Bago pa ako makapag start ng makina ng kotse ko ay may tumawag sa cellphone ko, isa sa nga kapatid ko kaya sinagot ko naman agad. Nangamusta lang at binati na rin ako, after that i start the engine and begun driving.

May nakita akong flower shop kaya nag park muna ako at pumasok sa loob. I smiled as i smell the scent of different flowers.

"Hi ma'am, how may i help you po?" isang babae na nasa mid 20's ang sumalubong sakin sa counter, i smiled at her.

"Bibili sana ako ng bulaklak, but i prefer a white rose and a sunflower please" saad ko at tumalima naman siya agad, i also tell her the design that i want.

After that, ay umalis na ako ng flower shop at nag drive papuntang sementeryo at ilinagay sa puntod niya yung bulaklak na binili ko. I sighed and clean his tomb, may mga tuyong dahon na roon pero ang nakaagaw ng pansin sakin ay ang bulaklak na naroon.

Someone must've visit him, but the question is who? I just push away from my mind the thoughts that have occupied me. The flower is also a sunflower and white rose.

Shan's favorite flowers.

I just smiled and closed my mind then utter a prayer to him. I always do this every year, he died on my birthday, our birthday. the reason why birthday's doesn't excite me anymore.

Every year since he left, para bang may kulang parang lagi akong may hinahanap. But i  know deep inside it was him that i was looking for.

After uttering a silent prayers, i slowly open my eyes as it darted to that deep brown eyes. The eyes that used to stare at me with love and care, those pair eyes that never left my mind all those years.

"Allica"

"Adan"

the only word that came out from our mouth while still staring at each other, pero ako rin ang unang nagiwas ng tingin sakaniya. I cleared my throat, trying to compose a sentence so i can talk to him, still feeling the awkwardness that sorround us.

" W-What are you doing here?" i ask

" The same reason, why you are here " he said coldly and lit up a candle and place it in Shanti's tomb.

" Ahm, kanina ka pa ba rito? " tanong ko ulit at sinindihan din ang kandilang dala-dala ko.

He stare at his wrist watch, and fix the flower that he probably bought.

" 30 minutes already, just get my lighter from my car so i can lit up the candle for him, it's his birthday anyway just can't afford to not visit him. He might visit me to sleep " he said

" it's his birthday"

He didn't remember my birthday anymore. Who am i to complain? There's nothing worth remembering someone like me. I smiled sadly and caught him looking at me.

" I need to go, thanks for visiting him. " he just nodded.

" I need to go to " he said as we both walk away, bago pa ako makapasok sa kotse ko ay nagsalita siya.

" Happy Birthday, Ica " he said and walk away, sinundan ko na lang siya ng tingin hanggang sa makapasok siya ng kotse niya. Pumasok na rin ako ng kotse ko at nagmaneho na paalis. I smiled.

I miss him.
I miss having him in my side.
I miss every inch of him.

10 years have been passed, but my heart are still with him, he have keep my heart for a decade now. And I don't think I can still move forward, it's a kind of love that stays.

But, would this be worth it trying again?
I'm scared, but I know for sure it should be my turn to risk everything now.

@missuntoldthoughts