The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (boyxboy)

CHAPTER 19

The Merry | Present Day

Guilt burning at the back of his neck, Az walks into Kaeltki's room to find the siren wide awake, his yellow eyes radiating like the spark of flint. The lines of his body are drawn taut, muscles coiled and jaw set. He doesn't issue a greeting.

Az swallows, placing Kaeltki's food down onto a box and making his way over to unwind the chain connecting his hands from around the hook in the wall. Kaeltki says nothing. He's probably upset that Az is so late, and Az realises that Kaeltki has never actually been upset with him before. Not since their truce, anyway.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," Az tells him sincerely as he flexes his fingers and massages his numb hands. "Something happened — it doesn't matter." He brings the food over, setting it down by Kaeltki's side. "I managed to find you a bigger tub. We can switch you over tomorrow, probably. It should be more comfortable, you'll be able to stretch out, I..."

But Kaeltki still doesn't look up, frowning down at his hands as if studying them for imperfections. He's ignoring him. On purpose. There's a hardness in his brow. Is he angry over those few hours Az missed? He feels his awkward smile melt away.

Wilting, he wrings his hands and scratches at his bandages. "Is everything okay? I really am sorry–"

"For what?" Kaeltki asks in an odd, airy sort of tone, finally looking up. He stares like he's expecting something. Stares like a parent with anger simmering below the surface as they wait for you to admit your wrongs before they accuse you.

"For...forgetting to feed you," Az says, wondering if an admission is what Kaeltki wants before he'll touch his food.

But Kaeltki only frowns deeper, more obviously now. "Only that?"

"I-I don't..." He doesn't know but there's a creeping sensation that he should.

"Aren't you sorry for leaving that girl alone with Paver?"

Kaeltki could punch him in the stomach right now and it would be less of a surprise than his words, delivered with the punishing suddenness of a clap of thunder. How does he even know what happened? Why does his mouth twist like that underneath his steely eyes? Why does he say it with such cold indifference, as if he's not really interested, but maybe irritated instead?

In his hesitation, Kaeltki must sense an opportunity. "Do you think I can't hear everything they say out there?" He jerks his head back, indicating the narrow window above his head. "That I don't know how you turned around and left her there? With him?"

The suffocating urge to explain himself, make himself understood, has sweat trickling down Az's back. "I didn't leave her," he argues, but Kaeltki's enraged look reminds him that's not actually true. "I mean, I did, but I was going to get help. I–"

"You left," Kaeltki snarls again, accusatory. Az steps back at the ferocity of it.

"To get help!" he snaps back, suddenly shaking, not sure why Kaeltki is so upset and not sure why he himself is so upset. "To get Slade."

"Ah, yes. To get Captain Slade. The man who took me from my home, killed my friend, had me tortured, and then trapped me in here." Az flinches. Kaeltki's ears twitch upright like a cat who has just heard a mouse. "Did you forget all of that? Did you forget that your captain, your saviour, held my friend down and cut her throat, and I had to watch her bleed to death? Did you know her name was Nerina? She wasn't even..." Kaeltki's voice cracks and he looks down, away from Az.

Staring at the siren, Az can't find words. Naturally, to Kaeltki, going to Slade for help might not seem like the best course of action. But he doesn't know, doesn't understand, and doesn't look like he's in the mood to have everything explained to him.