Great Descendant || Attack on Titan x Reader

53 || Be Alright

His heart was beating so fast, engulfing him with this uncomfortable feeling.

No, not again. It had been a year since the last time he dreamt about that, so why did it come back? Everything was emerging into his mind. The scorching sun that made all the cadets groan, the rotten smell from dozens of corpses that were piling up, and the nauseating blood smeared all over the corners.

Jean always tried to shrug it off every day. They were commanded to collect the dead bodies of their fallen comrades, scour the street and make sure no one got left behind to avoid any plague. He was already used to it for the past few days, but the sight of his best friend's corpse laid on one of the houses, it forever haunted him to the core.

For the first few weeks after that, he needed someone to check his condition. With him becoming the one who found Marco, the horror entailed no matter where he went. Thank the Walls, you were always there, providing him with whatever affection he could receive. Even after they retook Shiganshina, after you lost someone precious to you, you never stopped.

When it was too much, you even go for miles. As if you were a God who knew everything, you always noticed when his anxiety started to get the best of him. If the two of you were surrounded by others, you would ask him to grab some air, and he followed you like a lost puppy, craving for your kind gesture that would be enough to heal him every time.

His chest felt so heavy at the most random events, and his breath got uneven, body shaking once his mind took him back to that traumatising day. With your tender touch, however, you led him back to the present moment. Your palms pressed against his cheek. The dainty, but at the same time, strong fingers tickled his ears, covering them completely as you demanded him to focus on you.

"Listen to me, Jean—" You started, "Take a deep breath, four seconds." Guiding him with the most gentle tone. "Hold. Yes. Then release it. Slowly." Something that almost made him cry sometimes. "That's it. There you go. I am so proud of you, Jean."

He needed you. Jean always knew that he needed your existence. Whenever you looked at him, all the storms inside his head perished. Just a single glance. That was all it took for you to save him from whatever dark thoughts that were trying to consume him.

For a year, though, he was delighted he didn't have to dream about that day ever again. The nightmare never followed him anymore, and he no longer had to annoy you with such a pitiful request no one else could ever disperse.

But a week before their next expedition to cross the sea, the vision of the past had to come back.

He hurriedly stepped outside his room, skin sheened with sweats as he leaned the side of his body on the wall. The headquarters was like a maze, but with how many times he knocked at your door before, his body already remembered where to go when he was in this state. His body was burning, and he needed to see you more than anything.

Jean's fist slammed at your door, not even able to knock properly. Just the image of you in his mind was able to calm him down. Just the tiniest bit, but it was enough, and he couldn't wait for you to open the door and pull him inside. You would have known the meaning of his arrival. You would help him once again like how you always did.

But even after a minute passed, the door was still locked.

"Tybur—" his throat burnt as he tried to speak. "Tybur, please." And yet he kept doing so, calling you over and over again, even by your first name.

He wondered why there was no answer. You were a light sleeper, and you had this heightened sense when it came to those you cared about. His mind even started to wonder if maybe you fell and knocked your head on the ground, making each second to be even more dreadful. But that wasn't possible, though. He didn't hear anything from inside.