Better Me

• Prolouge

... My head hurts like a motherfucker!! Who am I? Where am I?!
Well, in a hospital bed, or maybe a cabin... I'm convinced that I got kidnapped, but I don't even know anything about my life... Who the fuck am I?! Definitely someone who's not even fully articulated to get on their feet right now. All I could move was my head, and I took advantage of that by tilting it until I was facing a mirror. I wasn't expected to be blessed by seeing a sexily handsome man laying down on a cabin bed. Jesus christ, is this me? Damn, okay. I feel like I was sculpted by the fucking gods. It's either that, or I just felt stiff.

I shot myself an approving smile before turning my head again, discovering another person in the neighboring bed. It was a girl this time. She had blonde hair, a cute face, and uh... That's all my mind could notice right now.

Though my thoughts were sliced with a menacing, Italian accent holding voice.

"Greetings, distraught -"
"AHHHHHHHH!!, F*CK! Holy f*cking sh*t!"

My adrenaline pumped and i rolled outta bed, finally getting to stand up even though my bones cracked a slight but by the action. The sudden outburst woke up the pretty girl laying on the bed, but I wasn't really focused on that. Juxtaposition to the other things I had in my mind, and that girl wasn't the one that stood out.

The man remained calm before he spoke.
"Would you like me to clear things up?"
"Yes, I would really f*cking like that. Start about why I can't cuss properly, thank you so much."
I rubbed my face. I have been abducted, I don't remember anything about my personal life, and now I'm initiating a conversation with my kidnapper. This sexy man made bad decisions, and I was continuing them.

He tapped his chin and beckoned,
"...I think I messed up with the spell.."
"What spell?!"
"I think I only allowed the happy half to cuss.."
"WHAT 'HAPPY HALF'?!!!"

I feel so dizzy now. I'm so fucking confused. Was some type of witchcraft casted upon me while I was in my sleep?! If only I remembered shit, then I would know whether I did something bad to deserve this or not.

He pointed at the sleepy woman on the neighboring bed. She looked confused, too. Me also, girl.

"Maybe I should clear up the upcoming accusations. Supposedly, you are the embodiment of distress coming from a man named Azrael. He paid me to split his sadness and happiness into two different people, and I suspect that he expected to be the happy half. Apparently, you are in HIS body and you don't seem happy at all, so that's that. Aaaaandddd I abducted the girl since I didn't have the body for the happy half."
I opened my mouth to say something but he raised his hand, indicating for me to shut the fuck up.
"Do not say a word to the authorities. Azrael signed a contract deterring that action. Court will cost you a significant number."
With that, I indeed, shutted the fuck up.
My face was twisted in horror, shock, and whatever else was lingering in the now soaring confusion in my heart. The girl on the neighboring bed beamed.

"WOAH!! That's so cool, Mister!! You can do spells??!! ...Wow."
She displayed an overly bright smile that got me shocked on why I haven't been blinded by the second she flashed it. This must be the happy half...

...No wonder I felt so fucking stressed the whole entire time, and now even MORE stressed knowing that this bloody motherfucker gave negative fucks about me and the girls' real life now.

He started rambling on and ONNNN until he had to answer a phone call, leaving us alone. I buried the bases of my palms into my eyes. Fuck, how do I adjust to this bullshit?

It was only a matter of time before the girl started to comfort me, sugarcoating the whole entire fiasco and not even acknowledging the fact that the person's body she's prancing around in probably has a family and a bunch of friends. Jesus...

"Heyyy... No need to feel so down! I'm sure that-"
"Can you please, for the love of Jesus Christ, talk about something else?"
I practically yelled. I was awarded by a thick silence that hung in the air like a guillotine blade, ready to slice our heads off mentally with a prompt.

Eventually, she broke it. By saying:
"Do you wanna have sex?"
"What?"

I basically coughed out the oxygen I inhaled. The fuck? I thought this girl was made out of rainbows and unicorns, and here she is. Wanting to have sexual intercourse with her other half. We're technically the same person.

"No."
"Why?"
"You're my other half We're kinda the same person."
"But why would you not wanna have sex?!!"
"I don't feel like doing anything!"
"Tough shit."
Damn, only she really was allowed to cuss.

"GO SCREW YOURSELF!!"
"IM TRYING, BUT YOU WONT BUDGE!!"
The rest of the conversation was stringed with slurs and cusses, and the other words we said are ones I preferred not to mention.

That's all I remembered that day.