Better Me

CHAPTER 1

• Rael's POV

"Talk about something." I practically begged.
"I've got nothin'."

The only few words we shared. The guy locked us in. It's been 2 days. He said it's for his observation report but I honestly couldn't care about that. I wanted out NOW. I wanted to slit my wrists freely without having someone constantly trying to keep me alive. And what for? So that I could cuddle with her for warmth. The bullshit is so thick that I could practically grab it and dump it into the toilet, claiming that someone else released the feces.

"What do we call each other?"
She finally cracked. Thank fucking Christ. I wasn't able to bear the silence much longer.

"You can have the other half of 'Azrael', since.. y'know. We're him."
"oOoOO, okay! I'll be Rae-"
"F*ck no, you aren't."
I stopped the thought that was brewing in her pesky mind before it flourished. Her?! Rael?! Fuck no. Over my cut up testicles. The name didn't suit her one bit.

"Why?" She frowned.
"I'll be Rael, while you'll be Az."
"Why am I Az?!"
"Cause you're a pain in my f*cking Az, that's why."

The giggle that came out of her mouth soon grew into laughter. I don't know why, but I find it truly fascinating that somebody seems fond of an insult. But it doesn't change the fact that there's basically zero hope in humanity and world peace.

We laid down on the fuzzy, circular mattress, staying silent. She tilted her head, enough to notice the cuts on my wrists. I already saw her face. It was the embodiment of 'What the fuck'.

"SERIOUSLY?? You found where I hid the kitchen knife??!"
"Ahh, yes. The perfectly well-hidden kitchen knife that was sheathed In the pantry."

The crimson shade that touched her doll-like face was spreading across her cheeks. What was she embarrassed about? Her lack of skills in hiding stuff? Must have had a heavy sense of pride despite us not remembering shit about our life.

I had enough of the dusty, dirty yet comfy exterior of the rug and hopped onto my bed. Az joined me a second later, curling up into my side. I didn't blame her for it. It was cold, and the AC was on the fucking ceiling for Pete's sake.
Sorcerer dude's reason to quarantine us was pretty stupid. Absolute horseshit, to say the least.

But at least we'd be able to live in Azrael's pent after a few days. I honestly don't know why someone is depressed —enough to get his happiness and sadness split into two when he has a PENTHOUSE. Fuck, he's sexy too. And IM in his body. But hey, what do I know about rich people shit? I can't remember anything about Azrael's life even if I'm being held at gunpoint. Though on the contrary, I really really wanna be held at gunpoint. Then I wouldn't even try to save my life.

"Mr. Azrael said that he'll let us out after the observation report. I can't WAIT to see the sun, the clouds, the birds... Oh, OOH!! Maybe I'll see a griffin in the sky too-" Az's beam of sunlight was shadowed by the clap of my hand against her mouth. Jesus, this woman is like a Pomeranian dog. Small and yappy.

I held her tightly, spooning her closer. To my demise, she was cold. I LET HER FUCKING CUDDLE ME FOR HER OWN WARMTH, AND I BARELY GET ANY OUT OF HER. THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!! HOW IS THIS CO-INDEPENDENCE?!!??
"...Why are you so cold?.."
"Mphhhh— hngghhfh,,,, MPPJKLL!!"
"What? You're speaking gibberish now? The fuck? You know, this isn't really helping your case, Az. How do you expect me to be lenient with you when you keep pushing me over 24/7!? Good fucking riddance. Well, let me tell you something in advance. Some CONCRETE reality. You are gonna fucking die one day due to society's unrelenting bullshit. They're gonna gobble you up alive with that sunshiney and positive attitude. Then, you're gonna end up like me. A sad, boring, meaningless life. But if you don't put your bullshit to a halt right now, then you won't even HAVE a life. I swear to-"

In the end, I was cut off.

Why was I cut off?
Cause a cool, liquidy texture curved around my fingers.

She was crying.
She was speaking gibberish,
Because of my hand being draped over her mouth.

I'm an asshole.