Jennie Kim.
My best friend.
The one who makes me the happiest; The one who i love the most; The one who I would sacrifice my life for; The one that I'm in love with.
I've kept these feelings hidden for so long, to make sure our friendship wasn't ruined by them. I so wish to see her happy, but it hurts each time I realise she is happy with someone else other than me. I might be in love with her, but she most definitely is not in love with me.
It hurts having to fake happiness every time she talks about him. It hurts having to show fake enthusiasm and support whenever I have to see them both together, but most of all it hurts when I tell her "I love you" and she says "I love you too" knowing we both mean it in two different ways.
I need to leave, to be free from this town where all of our memories together haunt me. I need a chance at peace, a chance to move on- even though I highly doubt that will be possible- a chance to escape this emotional torture.
I love her with all of my heart, and I will be with her until her wedding in 3 days time, and after that I will leave. I will leave right at the end of the ceremony, and I will give her one last hug goodbye.
Why couldn't it be me that she loved?
Why couldn't I be the one she's marrying?
Was my appreciation for her not enough?
Was my absolute unconditional love for her not enough?
Well, I'm a fool for even asking any of those questions, as my love for her was not even picked up by her, no matter how obvious I tried to be. To her out relationship has always been and will always be platonic. And with that I cannot cope, I must leave before these feelings break me fully.
I need to. No, I have to.
I hope I can move on, I hope i find my own happiness, after all this time being selfless and thinking about her, I feel like I need to be selfish, to protect my own peace for once. So although she might hate me for pulling a disappearing act on her without any warning, I need this for myself, to finally be able to breathe without the constant reminder of what a coward and failure I really am.
If you ever find this diary entry my dear Jendeukie, just know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for having these stupid feelings. I'm sorry for not being able to push them away and to ignore them anymore. I'm sorry for being the biggest coward known to man. And most of all I'm sorry that I have to leave you.
I don't think my absence will affect you too much anyways. You now have a husband and you will be thriving in your happily married life, and as you should. I wish nothing but the best for you.
You shouldn't dwell on someone like me, my presence is not at all important.
Now I must go and pack, I hope the future is good for me.
So, until next time dear diary,
Jisoo Kim.
How was that guys? Should I do more angst??
but here's another quick update after a while, enjoy 👍🏽
if you find any mistakes, do let me know 😂
YOU ARE READING
JENSOO
Fanfictionjust whatever i think of also the updates will be slow, very slow. Don't expect too much bc i can guarantee you most of this is rubbish 👍🏽. most of this will be badly written and probably cringe, but it's better than nothing ig I also do take req...
