So much darkness… not quite any pain, just…
Matt!
…a numbness. I know I should feel pain, but I don't… I feel as if, perhaps, I'm floating. Floating though nothing…
But no… someone is…
The floor was so cold…
…picking me up…carrying me. I feel so limp.. I can't…
Am I dying?
…move. I don't want to - I'm afraid of the pain I can't feel but know is there.
"He looks bad, but he's alive," someone says, voice gruff and professional.
My last thought is…
I hope he's talking about Matt
…before I blackout.
"Mello, have you ever thought maybe this was all just a dream?"
I look over my shoulder at the boy beside me, surprised somehow that I can even move to look at him, though I can't remember why. Black hair falls in front of his face, a little smile on his face. He's in a uniform, a collared white shirt and black pants, along with an apron. The waiter, I realized - the first man I ever kissed. I open my mouth to reply to him, only to find that I can't. My lips close again, ad instead I only frown at his statement.
"Well," he chuckled, turning to grin at me. As I look at him, I realize I can't see his eyes - instead, there is blackness where they would be. I don't remember his eye color, and so they simply aren't there in my subconscious. He doesn't seem to notice, though, looking right at me with a bright smile. "Well, Blondie," he continued, happily. "I sure hope this is real. Otherwise, it's all been for nothing, hasn't it?
It all fizzes out before I can nod my agreement.
The lights are so bright. I hear people shouting - "someone stop the blood, somebody stop the damn blood! Apply pressure!" - and the pain comes rushing to the surface. I don't dare to open my eyes, the bright lights beaming on my face making the thought almost painful.
What a strange way to wake up…
Something jabs into my arm, and I slip unconscious again.
"Mello, do you love me truly?"
I open my eyes slowly to find myself in the darkness again, blind but for the one thing filling my vision. Matt - he's sitting above me, floating it seems, a thoughtful expression on his face. I smile and reply automatically: "of course I do.""Then why?" Matt whispered. I watched, blankly, as he closes his eyes. Then, with horror, as his face starts to melt, sticky red liquid pouring over his face, dripping onto my neck and chest. Blood. I open my mouth, this time to scream, but no sound comes to my ears save for Matt's final shaking whisper, his bloody hand reaching forward to touch my face, the warm liquid feeling somehow cold on my skin as he whispered, "Why did you do this to me?"
I did this to him. Oh god, what is wrong with me? Am I simpl
So This Is How It Goes…
Mood: numb
Location: hospital
Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening To: the silence
His name is Mello. There's no need to hide that now, since we're already in a relationship, and… well, it won't matter for too long now. I'm not going to call him by some fake name while all of this is going on.
