A/N: Extra update today. Aren't you all lucky? XD ...or not, since the last one was suppose 2 be submitted, like, a day ago. Whoops. Anyway this chapter... kinda sucks *facedesk* sorry about that, dearests. I'll try 2 make the next 1 better! :)
The sun's morning rays leaked in through the window, falling over my face; I sighed, eased out of my dreamless, lovely sleep. I found myself feeling warm and safe, cuddling closer to the person holding me. I don't want to wake up.... I'm so peaceful.... I complain silently, keeping my eyes closed and nuzzling into the warmth against my face. The grasp around me tightens just barely, pulling me gently closer.
I don't complain; I sighed and snaked my arms closer to myself, allowing myself to be pressed more tightly against the warmth. It was a perfect kind of feeling, warm and fuzzy; it was also strange, completely unfamiliar and alien, but it wasn't unwelcome.
I hum contently as I feel fingers brush my blonde hair around my ear; I'm slowly remembering where I am, who I'm with. With Matt. In Matt's arms, in Matt's bedroom. In our bedroom, now, I suppose....
Relishing slightly at the thought I let out a kind of hum that sounds like a cross between a purr and a sigh, allowing my eyes to flutter open.
The room is lit dimly, the sunlight only peeking through the dark chocolate-brown curtains and falling in a pillar over my face. I'm contented in a pleasant kind of relaxed feeling, letting myself slowly wake up. I'm still in Matt's arms, and he feels strong and comforting against me - it's a bit strange, for me to be so contented with feeling protected by somebody, so at peace, even though I was a guy and wasn't it suppose to work a different way, me the protector? But I was the one who wanted to be protected then, and it didn't matter anymore. My pride was overpowered by the warm, fuzzy feeling...
..the feeling that, while I didn't quite realise it then, was undeniably love.
"You awake?" Matt whispered. His voice was wistful and a bit sleepy, and I 'mm-hmm' in response, smiling dimly as I feel his fingers stroke through my hair, peeking up at him. The previous night is slowly replaying in my mind - I confessed to him last night. I came out last night, to him.. and to myself. I smile a little at the thought, mentally shrugging away the dim sprinkle of shame that was tainting my happiness.
I peek up at Matt - his expression is a soft one, a loving one. He's holding me very gently, as if I were made of glass and might shatter if dropped. The thought is strangely appealing, and I nuzzle closer to him, to show him I'm thankful. Because I am - nobody ever held me that gently before. Even when I was very young, two or three, my mother handled me roughly, jerking my arm out of it's socket once or twice. She always had clever excuses when she brought me to the hospital - I don't remember now what they were.
Matt would need no excuses. He was always so gentle...
I trusted him. Thank God.
"You look so peaceful when you sleep," Matt whispered gently, half to himself and half to me. I let out a satisfied sigh, smile creeping across my face. I loved that about him - the way he found beauty in everything. Everything in me, anyway, I think wistfully.
"Really?" I murmur, reaching up and returning the gesture of brushing my fingers through his hair. It's messy and bed-headed, but still soft to the touch. I let out a yawn before he replies, causing him to chuckle a little and for me to blush just slightly.
"Really." Matt tells me, smiling that honest half-smile. I smile back; I wonder briefly what my smile looks like. My real one, I mean - the kind of smile that, with me, is impossible to capture on film or see in the mirror, or at least nearly impossible. The kind of smile I don't force, don't call upon by my own will, without thinking about it. I wonder, briefly, if it's as pleasant as his is. "Are you hungry?" he asks, cutting off my train of thought.
