The Effects Of THAT Day

Escaping the Wolf's Den

Why did Carlisle always need to be right?

"You like him."

So what if I did? Its not like I could be with him anyways. He lived over 45 minutes away and I didn't have a car or a license. We wouldn't have seen each other again if Carlisle didn't insist  on going to the supermarket 30 minutes from our house.

I went back to school at the request of Charles. He could tell me when to go back to school but he couldn't come home for 10 minutes with groceries. "Dad" of the Year.

I sat through all of the boring classes one must sit through. Finally we had gym. The last period of the day. I always changed for gym. Even when we went outside on a chilly day, even when I felt sick and even when Chris, Carson, and Sky decided that they would rather spend the 45 minutes getting drive-thru food and blasting music in the parking lot I changed. Today I  did not change. I did not go to gym. I forced Sky and Carson to take me to the drive-thru and we ate our greasy food in the park that was a few blocks from our school.

Sky was the first to break the silence. "So...why did you decide to miss gym?"

"I don't really know, school was just kind of boring." I really don't feel like talking about this right now. I stuff my mouth with a triple cheeseburger. When I finish chewing I grab a few fries and stuff them in too.

Carson jump out of a swing and walks over. He picks up his lemon lime soda and slurps it. "But you never miss gym. Like ever."

"Well I did today." I grab my cola and wash down all of my food.

"Exactly and that's weird. We want to know why." Carson finished his sentence then continued slurping.

"I don't know. It just...Chris is my age and he's done all these cool badass things and I change every time we have gym."

Sky stares at me. She hasn't touched her chicken sandwich and I swear she has been eating the same fry for 20 minutes now. "What does that have to do with gym."

I feel tears welling up in my eyes. "He might die. He's my age and he might die. Him dying is...its bad but, If he were to die today he would have lived a more interesting life then I have in the same amount of time. If I died today my life would have been a life wasted. That's why I missed gym. Because if I keep doing the same things I'm going to go insane. I'm going to die not having had any fun."

I managed to stop the conversation but now I was crying uncontrollably.

They took me home after that.  I fell asleep for about 19 hours. Right now I'm  staring at the greasy bags and the over size soda I got which at this moment is getting watered down by the ice inside of it.

I don't visit Chris as much as I would like because of the pain seeing Charles ignites but I went today. I took a cab because the thought of talking to the people who knew my situation made me nauseous.

Dana walks up to me as I enter the hospital. "Riley how are you?"

"Considering most of the workers in this hospital know Charles or my  'dad' had a mental breakdown and yelled at me I'd say I'm doing great. And of course I'm not mentioning the thing we both know. My brother being in a coma."

"I'm sorry I wouldn't have suggested anything if I knew-"

I cut her off "If I knew he would go off like that then I wouldn't have tried."

"He's here you know."

"I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf anymore Dana."

She handed me my visitors pass. She must have been getting it this whole time.

I walked to the wolf's den. He sat there in a chair sleeping. Time to wake him. I didn't want to but I had to. As a person who takes privacy seriously I needed him to be outside of the room while I talked to Chris.

He jolted awake. He really needs to stop doing that but when your son is in the hospital I guess you are always on edge.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to talk to Chris..." He didn't catch on. "...alone..."

"Yeah sure." He got up and walked away.

I waited 2 minutes to make sure that he wasn't around. "Hey Chris." A one-sided conversation felt so good. I told him about Michael. Everything about Michael. I told him that I missed gym for the first time. I could hear him talking back.

"I like the sound of this Michael kid. You wait until I wake up, I'll have to have a long talk with him. You missed gym and I wasn't there for it?"

The conversation lasted maybe 25 minutes before Charles came back and I thought it best to end it.

"Not often you get to hear your voice in a room with Christian is it?"

He started a conversation with me? The reason for everything wrong in his life? His own personal dose of poison? "No." I left. I had no interest with talking to Charles about even the most mundane things like laundry so I definitely wouldn't talk to him about Chris.

I went to a vending machine and grabbed a bag of chips. I didn't eat all day. I ate the chips as I walked outside of the hospital. Could I maybe get lost again? Can you get lost on purpose?

Maybe I could take a cab to the corner of Ashton. Why didn't Michael just give me his number like all other guys would?  I just have accept the fact that the chance that I will see Michael are slim to none. I might  as well give that idea up.

******10 minutes later in the cab home********

"I miss him.  I want to see him. I need to see him. Am I obsessing?"

I called Sky and relayed all the events that happened after I left the hospital before.

"If you want an honest answer...Yes. That's okay though."

"I'm obsessed and you think that's okay? That's like the polar opposite of okay."

"I've never seen you have a crush before so the fact that you like someone is okay."

"Do you think I'll ever see him again. Be honest."

"Honestly, I do believe you will see him again because if you feel like this just imagine how he feels. I mean he kissed you, that has to mean something. A guy doesn't just kiss someone."

"Yeah I guess. Can I stay over your house this weekend?"

"Yeah can I ask why?"

"I just after speaking with Chris really want to be close to my friends."