MOON

Chapter 10: False Hope

After what happened to Kaz, Armin, and me outside the faculty, Armin and I flew back to our room. My penalty was an unnerving experience, added by an uneventful drama between two guys, about to start fighting, me, standing between them, completely confused.

We showed up at the room. Everyone's eyes were on us, specifically on me. It doesn't bother to them that Armin made a mistake because, for me, I think they're accustomed to him causing a turmoil or something like that. I've witnessed too, days ago, but it was no big deal, and no teacher ever caught him fighting with my other boy classmate. It was just for a small reason. Stealing his pen made him rage. And that's not something to be serious about, that's why no one said a word to the teachers.

But this time, with my doing, is something to be talked about seriously. I'm such a disappointment to the whole class. This is all because of my impulsiveness. Sometimes I speak or act before I think. It's totally weird of me to do so. But, I can't control my mind that easily. That's why I've been extra careful when talking to a few individuals because im afraid I might say the wrong things that I don't want to say. Or afraid if they say something to offend me but they don't actually mean it, or they might non coincidentally ruin my pride, I might say something irreversible to them. I'd end up alone again, lonelier than every lonely people in the world. I must find a way to break this curse.

I apologized to the teacher who had witnessed my bad behavior that time. All she said is "You must learn, kid. I won't forgive you for being a disappointment." Then she turned to leave. I was left there, frozen. I don't really blame her for saying that because she's right, what I've done is wrong and could never be right. Even if it's only 2 freaking sentences, it still gives a huge impact on my teacher, his reputation, and my behavior. Now, I can't even dare to look at my teacher's face again, even though he said it's fine and I can reflect. Seriously, he's not that affected at all? If I were him, I'd totally expel me for illegally swearing.

I apologized to all of my classmates for saying something awful to our teacher. I was shivering by the time I said out loud in front of them. There was a moment of silence, but, thankfully our class president stood up and said "We understand your situation Paulino, but, your action is very offensive especially to the teachers. I hope you'd be able to reflect on yourself and learn to change that bad habit of yours. But, nonetheless, we forgave you and you're still welcome here in our class. By the way, we're classmates anyway and we don't resent each other, right?"

Everyone agreed to our president. I was very thankful he spoke up to me and also apologized for my mistake to the evaluator and to sir. I'm deeply grateful for his kindness and consideration.

By the time I looked at the people around me in the eye, they all agreed to what pres had just said. DJay said "people can change and we will welcome that change of yours" others even said "we forgive you". I looked at Aubrey and she was nodding nonchalantly in agreement. Jake was smiling at me, putting his one thumbs up, mouthing 'we forgive you' to me. I looked at Athena and she wasn't looking my way. Her expression is snob, seems like she'll hate me forever. Then lastly I glance at Armin. He didn't look at my way, he was looking at the window.

I make a worried face.

I wonder what he felt when Kaz cornered him and said those words to him. I'm sure that offended him so much. I want to comfort him, but I'm afraid I'd be an annoyance. I'm afraid he won't talk to me about it at all.

But I'm actually really curious. Curious about his past. I want to know why the heck Kaz and Armin don't like each other that much. I want to know their history. I desperately wanted to know. Armin can't and won't probably tell me about it, but, I'm pretty sure Kaz will. Of course he will. He told me so.

***

A few days have passed. And my thoughts still lingering about what could possibly be their history, and my curiosity is killing me.