Amnesia [Wattys 2015]

Chapter Eight

I didn't see him.

Cole. Gabe.

I don't think it was likely I'd see him. Not till I could wrap my head around it. I didn't expect him to do the unlikely, to come over to my home.

A week later, outside of my house drenched in the rain at six pm. The attractive boy arrived at my doorstep. He grinned at me apologetic, "Do you mind if I come in?" He asked. Like I had a choice.

Stunned, I opened the door wider, letting him come in dripping wet. "How do you know where I lived?"

Sheepishly Gabe answered, "Rochelle pointed it out to me before, when we went to get groceries."

Knowing it's Gabe in my house for the first time since we've met, made me wonder what he thought. My house isn't as spectacular as his, him being Cole. Mine was smaller, only two storeys tall. The rooms were smaller, the ceilings not as long. his house was in colours of white and grey while mine were in shades of brown. My floor unlike his was carpeted. He kicked of his wet shoes by the door. My hand went up to play with a lock of my hair but to my disappointment, I recalled my hair was tied up.

"Uh do you need to use the loo to wash off?" I hesitated.

"That would be nice," Gabe said. He bit his lip. My eyes drifted there. I knew what it felt like to kiss those lips. How many times had I kissed Cole? I couldn't even recall how it felt the last time I kissed Cole but I knew I loved it. Kissing Gabe was different. It was brief, the last time, a simple brush of lips. Was it forced? Did he still love Evangeline?

I became acutely aware I hadn't said anything and Gabe was waiting for a response. Quickly, I nodded. My cheeks turned scarlet. I showed him the toilet, beside my bedroom. "This is hot and this is cold water," I said going in. Be normal, I thought. I showed him the shower's dial, "You have to wait for three minutes before the hot water kicks in," I added. Then I pointed to the soap, "You can use that soap, and my shampoo." I showed him the pink bottle. I wondered what went through his mind. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I did.

The kiss.

It was fleeting, after his declaration to Cass, he leaned in, lightly touching my lips. Lightly.

After that, you could taste the surprise in the air with all those on the same table. They too hadn't expected it nor were they absorbed in conversation to miss that simple act. In that careless kiss, I noticed the familiar signs of hope in his mothers eyes, the confusion in his fathers and I could feel my own confusion growing.

I wondered if it was pretend, Gabe seemed to think it was best if he lived as Cole rather than go through a large hassle. I can't deny that it's the reason that has kept me away from him. More so, I wondered if I wanted more because it was Cole's body or because I was kissing Gabe.

Was I kissing the dead? Would Cole be mad?

I think I had every right to be mad. He didn't fight. I had no doubt Gabe fought to be alive but Cole probably didn't. I wouldn't put it past him to not have fought. He was like that. Easy-going. If the end called to him, he would have gone to it. He didn't fight against the miseries life threw on him, granted they were very few and far between. Cole would accept it and move on. It among the reasons I loved him. His adaptability. How he never got mad.

Gabe and I hardly knew each other but I couldn't help feeling an easy connection with Gabe was it because he was in the body of what once was my best friend? He was driven, instinctive, he fought against it, against what's thrown at him. He wasn't anything like Cole, yet they were alike. His charm, his honestly which lacked the diplomatic tone of Cole's. They were so alike. In so many ways. I wanted to know how many. I wanted to know more about Gabe.