Metalocalypse one-shots

Cheater Cheater Breadstick Eater

(Toki x Skwisgaar)

In the heart of Mordhaus, where the walls echoed with the sounds of metal and mayhem, two long haired guitarists found themselves caught in the currents of fate. Toki Wartooth, the sweet-natured and often naïve rhythm guitarist, and Skwisgaar Skwigelf, the cocky and effortlessly talented lead guitarist, shared a bond that went beyond their music.

One stormy night after a particularly brutal concert, Toki found himself alone and lost in the dense forest surrounding Mordhaus. The darkness closed in around him, the thunder roared, and the rain poured down in torrents. Panic set in as he realized he had wandered far from the path. His heart pounded as he stumbled through the underbrush, the icy wind cutting through his stage clothes.

Just when all hope seemed lost, a beam of light pierced the gloom. Skwisgaar emerged from the shadows, his guitar slung over his shoulder, a determined look on his face. "Toki! Where do yous goings? You gets lost or somethings?"

Toki's eyes filled with relief and gratitude. "Skwisgaar! I was so scareds. Thank you for findings me."

Skwisgaar shrugged, but there was a softness in his eyes that Toki had never seen before. "I couldn't lets yous stay out here alones. C'mon, let's gets back."

As they made their way back to Mordhaus, Toki couldn't help but feel a warmth spreading through his chest. Skwisgaar had saved him, and in that moment, he realized his feelings for the lead guitarist ran deeper than mere friendship. That night, as he lay in bed, Toki's thoughts were consumed by Skwisgaar, his heart pounding with a new, unfamiliar rhythm.

That night, in a rare moment of calm, Toki mustered the courage to ask Skwisgaar out. "Hey, Skwisgaar, yous want to goes to Olive Garden withs me? For a date?"

Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow but then smirked. "Sure, Toki. Olive Garden sounds fun."

Toki's heart soared. He spent the rest of the day in a state of nervous excitement, planning their evening and imagining how perfect it would be.

That evening, they arrived at Olive Garden, the soft lighting and warm ambiance creating a cozy atmosphere. They were seated quickly, and Toki, eager to impress, ordered a large pitcher of peach raspberry tea. He drank glass after glass, nervously chattering and laughing with Skwisgaar, who seemed more relaxed than usual.

Midway through their meal, Toki felt a pressing need to use the bathroom. "I'll be right backs," he said, standing up quickly. "I haves to pee real bads."

Skwisgaar nodded, his attention already drifting to the pretty waitress who had just walked by.

In the bathroom, Toki hurriedly did his business, eager to get back to Skwisgaar and continue their date. As he washed his hands, he couldn't help but smile, thinking about how well things were going. But when he returned to their table, his heart sank to the floor.

Skwisgaar was gone. The pretty waitress was laughing, her hand resting on his arm as they walked towards the back of the restaurant. Toki's breath caught in his throat. He watched in disbelief as Skwisgaar and the waitress disappeared through a door, leaving him alone.

Toki sat down, staring at the empty seat across from him. His heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. He reached for a breadstick, the tears welling up in his eyes. He had been so hopeful, so sure that this was the beginning of something special. But now, he was alone, eating breadsticks and feeling the sting of rejection.

As he nibbled on the breadstick, he tried to tell himself it didn't matter. He had been foolish to think Skwisgaar could ever feel the same way. But deep down, the hurt was too raw, too real.

He looked in the glass of his peach tea and whispered

"Cheater cheater breadsticks eaters!"