Its awfully hard to keep up with people with how they change and tell you otherwise when things don't go according to their expectation.Its always best to never tell anyone how and what you felt about anything unless they truly care and wish to be there during your down fall. Don't get me wrong, It can be anyone who's trying to hear you out and maybe use it against you, But understand that sometimes some people's intentions are pure that they just can't act on it (Not an excuse for my actions fyi). To give you an idea of whats happening, My heart and mind is stuck on one thing and you know what it may be, But what i see and feel at present is deceiving and oddly hurting. Then i understood no one is going to support you but you and your significant one and Allah(SWT) for so many unidentified issues and people will play so hard and make you want to do mistakes and pinpoint each and everything as a big issue. But enough about people, Talking about me and my type, The decision we make is solemnly ours and we try to commit to it, but finding ourself's with mistakes and learning from it and making it better so we do not face the same issue in the future. taking every step as a building block and making the best out of it is the aim. There is this pain i get where if i can't share things or words, I'll stay unstable, So forgive me for making you bare for who i am and for all the bombing i do to you. Its at that point where anger and happiness are battling each other, but I'd only do what you command me to do. I know its unexpected that i felt like a loser and demotivated but you have no idea whats driving me and giving me the will to fight harder. A song i heard from when i thought was just for name sakes till i heard it again and decided to add to playlist (the recent one).I am trying not to break my word so i write here to keep myself at ease. I drafted a story that i will send before flying back and i took some time and effort into it so it better be appreciated or else i am not sending any 🙃. Btw for our amusement, its some day today and awfully i found it funny. Please Nourish and hydrate at all times and stay closer to deen as much as possible.This was drafted as I had a panic attack the night before Eid.
