You have your flaws, but I still love you and you only. The past is nothing but the past and you need to learn from your mistakes and I know that you're trying to do that. I'm proud of you, I'm so proud. I remember saying to myself how proud I am of you and I teared up, I didn't know why, but I found that it was because it's heavily true. You've been through so much - a lot of which you haven't told me yet - to get here and be the person that you are right now. You're not perfect, but nobody is, at all. And I love you for that. For making it this far despite what happened.
All I ever wanted is for you to live a happier life - a happier life in this one, a better one in the future. I want to protect you as much as I can, I'm sorry if it felt like I was just being cold to you. You don't deserve that, regarding your past and in general. You are human, just like everybody else. You have a soul, you're an individual and you definitely deserve to be treated like one. You are allowed to open up and not bottle up your emotions - I'm sorry if I or anybody else didn't let you feel like you could do that or just didn't let you at all. You are much more to me than you may think.
My love for you is a bit strong for just one regular school crush - and I came to realise that. I wasn't joking about wanting to marry you or proposing - I want to experience waking up next to you every day, I want to watch you make food for me, walk our future dog(s), I want to cuddle with you every night if you want to, I want to be there with you during your downs and lows. If you're not ready for marriage I can wait for you. We don't have to get married if you don't want to. I want the best life for you. Unfortunately, all of that is a long way away but I'm willing to keep going just for you, for your happiness and that you deserve my love completely.
You filled a hole in my heart, one I didn't know needed mending. When I first met you, I knew that you would become one of the most important people in my life.
I admit that I didn't expect it to go this far, but I am so glad that I said yes to you wanting to be my partner - you confessing that you liked me. You're all I ever wanted - somebody to care about me. Believe it or not but you've made me cheer up on days where I felt like nothing so many times - I have those moments noted down somewhere. I am so grateful. I can't express how grateful I am of you and how I know that you are a kind, loving and warm person. You made me feel accepted. If I hadn't met you or connie or katie, but you especially, I don't know where I'd be now. That hole in my heart would've torn the rest of it apart split in the middle. I'm so glad that you were there for me most of the time. I don't know how to appreciate it enough. I wish I could make up words just for you, just to describe you with. Only you. And all of them mean how thankful I am for you.
If nobody appreciated you or is thankful for you I'd be dead.
I love you. I love you until every star in the entire universe is counted - which is billions and trillions of years of counting. They will never stop counting those stars, there will never be a definite answer. But I do know that my love for you is eternal.
Please, don't leave me.
I love you.
So much.
I want to see a text from you in the morning, I know I can't force you to but I really, really want to just feel relieved that you're alive - like I do every morning. I don't want that cycle to end. At all. Please.
Maybe I'm overthinking - maybe you weren't being literal about the last thing you said in the main chat and I sobbed for nothing. But what I said is entirely true about you. I don't want to lose you, I want to see your face for the rest of my life.
You are valid to me.
Everything about you is valid to me.
I can help you, I'm always here for you. I'm constantly available. I can promise you that. I am willing to take time out of my day to help you get through something, or taking months or years to do that - I don't care as long as it's helping you and you feel better eventually. I will take those hits for you, not just because I feel like I'm supposed to - because I want to.
If I can't help you, try to get professional help. Please.
I only want the best for you.
You are not and never was or will be a burden to me.
I love you so much.
You are my partner. Of course I will worry about you, think about you, care about you, want to protect you, be with you.
You.
Nobody else.
Not anybody else in any other universe.
I love you to bits.
I want you to have everything.
Yes I can try draw you whatever you want, yes I'll try learn how to use something for you, yes I will try to learn how to make that for you, yes in the future we can get a St. Bernard or any other big dog that you've ever wanted, yes we can have cats, yes I can marry you. I want you to have everything. I want you to have what I don't have.
I may not be able to remember things about you and have a poor memory but I can assure you that I could never forget how much you truly mean to me - I could never forget your voice, your touch, and your face, your personality.
And I will dread the day that I do.
I love and cherish every single little thing about you, every detail.
I will wait for you like a dog.
For some reason, my body always ends up waking me up or urges me to go check on my phone whenever you text. I hope it never stops doing that.
You are my favourite person, and nothing can change that. No matter what.
I hope you can take your time to read everything, because I mean every single word and emotion that I put into it.
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Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling every emotion come at me at once because I was overthinking, let out most things I've always wanted to say ever since I fell in love with you.
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Because it's the most I've written for them in a while, I wanted to make sure it wasn't forgotten in my memory or rotting away in my notes app
My wish is for them to see how much they actually mean to me, even if I don't show it or if they don't actually read any of it. I can't force them to, it's entirely their choice.
I may have written everything there out of panic and through sobs, but nothing in it was artificial. Everything was real.
I'm so glad, I'm so glad that they're alive.
When I received their text that they were okay, my heart was pounding through fear and relief.
Overthinking is something that I regret doing daily, but it's also something that I can't help right now. Them being safe is my priority, it will be until the day I die.
