Out of the dark and into your light

Chapter 5: moving

Moving in with Leah what could go wrong. As much as I have tried to convince Jonas to let me live alone he refused. I just do not get why Leah suggested to live with me I would ask her why but I have ignored her at any given opportunity I know I shouldn't blame her but I do I can't help it. In fact I don't see why I need to live with someone full stop all because I was late to training a couple of times.

I am kind of glad to be getting out of this place I'm meant to call home it doesn't feel like a home never has and never will no place will ever feel like home but I would take living here any day than with Leah or with anyone for that matter. I need to avoid her she can't find out about my past and my nightmares it will only cause problems and if anyone found out I will be hated even more than I already am if thats even possible I don't want her thinking I'm some baby who can't sleep without having nightmares I'm a grown women and still have nightmares it's embarrassing. I've been doing quite a good job at ignoring her if I don't say so myself i get that she was just trying to be nice offering me to live with her but I'm not some stray who needs picking up off the street and taken care of.

I'm packing some off my things into a box I didn't realise how little things I actually own until it came down to sorting them into a box. My whole life fits into just 2 small moving boxes. I open my bedside draw pulling out one of the last thing I have left of my brother an old Polaroid of us on are 13th birthday sitting at the table with forks in are hands and a big old birthday cake in front of us. A smile makes its way onto my face thinking about the old times the birthday's we would share some people would have hated having a twin and a shared birthday but we didn't it was perfect. Just as fast as that smile came onto my face it was gone thinking back to that night the night my brother died and the night a piece of me died as well.

I was pulled out my daze when I hear pounding on my door. A wave of confusion washes over me nobody knows where I live I don't ever have people round so who the fuck is at the door I wait a second to see if the knocking continues and I'm not just going crazy but again I hear another knock at the door. I make my way down the stairs and look through the peep hole. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"What the fuck are you doing here" i say opening the door slightly just enough so she can see my face but not enough so she can look inside.

"Um..I" she stutters looking at the floor clearly regretting her decision to come here. Which she should like what the actual fuck.

"Well are you going to answer my question or just stand there stuttering looking stupid" I ask anger washing over me how has she got my address and why the fuck is she here?

"I just thought you might need some help packing since you're going to be moving in with me today" she says actually forming words this time. Wait what today I'm meant to be moving in with her today you are taking the piss.

"I'm moving in with you today what the fuck since when" I ask shocked I thought I had at least another week.

"Um ye Jonas told us in the meeting we had the other day to discuss everything but you was to busy sat there with a face like thunder to pay any attention" she says letting out a little chuckle.

"Ye well I don't need help with packing you shouldn't have come here" I say going to shut the door but she pushes it back open catching me off gaud and also sending me flying in the process she's in my house what the fuck. Does this girl not know when she's not wanted or something.

"WHAT THE FUCK" I shout at her I feel the anger rise within me and my fists naturally clench. "GET OUT" I shout giving her a chance before I will do something I will regret. I watch her flinch at my tone but still makes no attempt to move from where she is stood. She scans around my house taking in its surroundings a shocked expression makes its way onto her face as she takes in the sight of empty bear cans and fuck knows what other mess everywhere.