Sinner Now | Bucky Barnes

01 - On Your Toes

Bucky had lost count of how many days it had been since he started feeling this way.

From the start of the Winter Soldier days, to his moments of realization of who he used to be, all the way up to who he is now.

About a month ago, he had finished his process of healing his mind back in Wakanda. He did feel better. He could feel a difference. But the full recovery was going to be long. He knew that. There were still flashes. Guilt still lying around. He wasn't hungry, and sleep wasn't an option for him. It was just a hard no. Around others, he felt some what fine. Timid, but fine. He had a rough time looking in the mirror, though. He couldn't see himself any other way than what they had built him into after the fall. It terrified him. Sometimes his own arm would make him jump, regardless of if there was company around or not.

The Winter Soldier was gone—for the most part.

But was he? It? The assassin?

The blood was still on his hands. He still did the crime. Whether it was partially hidden or not, it was his face they saw before he took them out of the world. He saw their faces too, but it made no difference. Not to the 'Soldier.

They could only stare into those cold-hearted eyes before the job was done.

The words might have been erased from the program that was once put into his brain, but the haunting screams weren't gone. He saw and heard them everywhere. All of them. No matter what he was doing. Staring up at the ceiling, sleeping for the few minutes he gets. It never left him. It was still a part of him.

Was it ever going to leave?

Whether it was lying on his bed or sitting on the couch, all he could do was think.

He heard the noises ringing in his ears.

He saw the images slice together in his head.

It was a cacophony. It was all a blur.

He heard a knock.

"Hey, buddy." Steve stepped through the doorway with a soft smile.

A different kind of cacophony.

The man turned to see his best friend walking into his room. He sat up from his pillow, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Hey. Is everything okay?" He asked immediately. "You said you wouldn't be here until later today." Worry punctured him.

"Yeah. Yeah, everything is okay. There's just some... News, and I wanted to let you know because, well, there's been discussion that it involves you."

He stiffened.

"Oh, no. Don't worry," He said, a small smile on his face, walking over to to his bed and sitting down. "It's nothing bad. Nothing bad at all, actually."

"But, you said it involves me."

"That's because it does."

"So how can that be a good thing?"

The look he gave him broke Steve's heart. He furrowed his brows softly and smiled warmly, "Well, once you see what it's about, you'll understand."

Bucky furrowed his own brows.

"Or, I should say who it's about."

"What do you mean?"

"There's someone the agents are bringing in up to the interrogation room. Rumor has it there's been a gun found that's been used recently to do some pretty bad things."

Again, Bucky froze.

Steve had tried to word it the best he could to not make Bucky panic, but he still failed. After a second, he smiled, hoping his next words would make him better.