Sit Softly On Your Shoulder

Chapter 2: Embracing Uncertainty

Lan Zhan wakes up feeling more clear-headed and decisive, with an eagerness in his movements. Five o'clock is early in any country, and London is no exception. It's late April and still chilly and dark outside, when he makes the decision to go out for a run.

It helps him to think and to plan.

He's twenty-six years old, and so far, all he's ever done is do the next thing. When he was young and his mother left them, his brother told him that taking one step at a time made things easier.

So while Lan Zhan was still traumatised by a sudden absence of an important person in his life, he could still appreciate the meditative nature of rising out of bed at a specific time and making his bed. He had a routine and he stuck to it, so after showering, he would meditate from the tender age of twelve, and he learned how to process his emotions that way.

As he grew older, and more understanding of his mother's situation, he learned to forgive her and his father; their issues were with themselves, and had hardly anything to do with either himself or his brother. Once that had been firmly established in his mind, Lan Zhan got to work without really thinking about it.

He studied, passed exams and came top of his class in everything that mattered. Academically, his life was great. Socially though? Not so much.

It wasn't that he didn't know how to make friends. And there was no way to voice his opinion on why he preferred his own company more than his peers, but he suspected his own level of maturity was far higher than 'normal' kids. They certainly shied away from him, though Lan Zhan didn't mind being friends with Luo QingYang, or MianMian to her friends, of which he was proud to be one.

MianMian was helping him out by travelling to prospective buyers and sellers and finding matches, but that was so far East as to be another world away. They worked well together, and neither crossed each other's boundaries so it was mutually beneficial. Whenever Uncle Qiren prodded and poked at Lan Zhan's single status, Lan Zhan would inform MianMian and they would meet at a public gathering where those that cared could form (wrong) opinions about their private lives, and everyone including himself and MianMian were happy.

But Lan Zhan has always known he is gay. He hasn't dated anyone because the dating pool resembled a cracked drought-ridden ground whenever he felt guilty enough to check.

Yesterday changed all that.

Meeting Wei Ying opened up a whole plethora of doubts and uncertainty, and not just about his mother's shop but about himself, too. Would he like to date Wei Ying? He's not really sure. The answer would be yes if it didn't come with a can of worms:

What would happen after the six months were up?

Would Wei Ying even be open to dating? Lan Zhan isn't sure about that part, but then Wei Ying HAD winked at him, and if that's not flirting, then Lan Zhan's experience with the whole shebang is definitely crusty. But did he mean it? That is the question.

And is Lan Zhan even ready to do that? With him?

He's never met such an animated character before. Chockablock with enough energy to power a skyscraper and then some. It's not just Wei Ying's undoubted beauty, or his soulful eyes that sparkle like the wisdom of a thousand stars, or his quick mind which is undeniably a definite turn-on, or his bright smile that makes Lan Zhan just stop thinking. It's none of those things alone, but perhaps all of them combined with the certainty that there's a connection between them.

That aside, this attraction Lan Zhan feels is just...so overwhelming. It's lucky he has the self control of a saint, otherwise Wei Ying might have been pushed up against a wall and kissed to within an inch of his life!