Sit Softly On Your Shoulder

Chapter 14: Creating Change

Given the time difference, Wei Ying's idea of keeping each other updated even if the other is asleep is brilliant. Lan Zhan is finding the concentrated effort of reporting back to his fri-, his...what? Reporting back to Wei Ying is cathartic and therapeutic in a way he had never expected nor thought was possible, but here they are.

Reading and seeing via the numerous videos Wei Ying sends him, as well as everything he reports back, feels like a comforting blanket wrapped around his shoulders warmed by a heater.

They trade news every day, and it feels as if Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are becoming even closer. But his own inability to define whatever they have together is becoming an impediment. They're more than friends, or better than just friends, for sure. But employer and employee...they have passed by whatever boundaries that relationship casts long ago.

XiChen's words keep popping up in his mind, reminding him that it is alright to want to be happy. It is alright to be able to identify the source and pursue it with a single-minded devotion. His mother's question when Lan Zhan had accidentally visited her behind the temple in London rises like a spectre in his mind. She had asked him if he was happy. He still doesn't know the answer, but it's like being stuck between two worlds, one that he knows and is safe, and the other...? He's not sure.

Lan Zhan sighs and begins typing.

Lan Zhan: The doctors induced Uncle to wake up today. He is grouchier than normal. I showed him your video, the one about the crochet class, and he was surprised. It makes a big difference telling him about London and showing him what it's really like. Seeing is better than just talking. I am not a talkative person.

Lan Zhan: His prognosis is looking good. Uncle has been responding well to stimulation, but there might be some paralysis on his left side. The doctors are waiting to see if it is a temporary side effect to the blood not reaching the necessary organs in time. If it can be chased away via physical therapy, then Uncle will stay in a medical facility but not this hospital.

Lan Zhan: I am feeling better because Uncle is awake. XiChen and I ate with him this evening, and he shouted at us not to make him feel like an invalid. We ate noodles and steamed vegetables, and Uncle insisted on feeding himself. He is going to make a terrible patient. I pity the doctors and nurses looking after him there.

Lan Zhan goes to sleep, feeling calmer and more relaxed than he has in a long, long time. It's with shock that he realises that in a few days, it will have been almost a month since he's been back in Suzhou. The thought brings about a melancholy that makes him hurry to bed. He suppresses any impatience towards his Uncle, chiding himself for not feeling better about having to stay here, especially when it's his home city. But the truth is, how can he feel jittery about staying here when it was this very reason he gave to his older brother about not making London a permanent residence? Has his mind changed in favour of that cold and wet destination? And since when?

But even as his eyes drift closed, he knows the right answer to his question. He's only feeling tremulous about staying because Wei Ying is not here. If this situation was reversed, he knows he would hate staying in London if Wei Ying was here. Wei Ying is the anchor to his ship, and that is the deepest truth.

Perhaps it is not the place that matters, but who he is with.

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Wei Ying sends off his messages during the course of the day, and if anything interesting happens, he tends to inform Lan Zhan straight away so he doesn't forget. This means his messages are sporadic and short, unlike Lan Zhan's mini fics. Also, Lan Zhan has told him the hospital WiFi isn't the best, and he just usually waits until he gets home to see whatever Wei Ying has sent to him.