AGAIN || MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE /Charles Leclerc/

Chapter 21

Celine 

Now

The sunlight streaming through the window wakes me up gently, and for the first time in weeks, I feel rested. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night without having nightmares.

The haze of last night's events is still clouding my mind, but I know one thing for sure: I slept with Charles. I can still feel his hands holding me close to his chest, his scent filling my nose. I missed all this, I wish I could spend all my nights like this.

My head pounds slightly, a reminder of the drinks I had yesterday at the cafe, and as I turn over, expecting to see him lying beside me, my heart sinks. The space next to me is empty, the sheets cool to the touch.

Charles is gone.

He probably already regrets staying over, and I only made fun of myself. But all I can think about are the soft words we exchanged, the way he held me as if he never wanted to let go. It felt real, it felt like a chance to rebuild what we had lost. But maybe the truth is that he didn't want me back as I wanted him. Maybe all the things he said to me weren't true.

Despite everything I can't help but send him a quick text.

Sorry for yesterday, I didn't want to embarrass you or make things awkward.

The message goes through, but is not delivered, and two hours later is still on hold. I should get up, I can't spend the whole day lying in bed. Especially because he's everywhere in here today. The next hour passes and Pierre's words from yesterday echoes in my head.

I should talk to him, try to explain myself so that he can decide whether to hate me or forgive me. That's what I'll do today. I call Kika, asking her for help to set a meeting, and in a matter of time I'm standing in Pierre's apartament.

"He's on the sim right now, he'll be done in ten I think, I have to go now but make yourself home." She invites me as she's putting on her shoes, ready to leave us the privacy we'll need for this conversation.

"Thanks, I just hope he'll hear me out." I sigh, I know this can go well or either be a disaster, and she knows as well. But if she's worried she doesn't show, she just smiles heading through the door.

"He will, maybe not at first but eventually he'll give up. You just have to insist. Even if he doesn't show it, he missed you as well." And then she's out.

I found myself in the silence of the living room, my hands fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. The room is neat, a huge couch in the middle of it, the walls decorated with some pictures. A framed photo of him and Charles during karting times, a picture of Anthoine next to one of his helmets on the shelves containing all Pierre's trophies. It's strange being here, in his space, with him only a room away.

"The session was so bad, I'm getting even more..." When the door finally opens, I freeze. He stops mid sentence, his expression shifting from exhaustion to surprise, then quickly to something unreadable.

"Hi." My heart is pounding in my chest, the look in his eyes makes me question my choice to come here.

"What are you doing here? Where's Kika?" Are the first things he asks me, looking around to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend. His voice is tense, guarded.

"Oh, it's just us, I want to talk. You did yesterday, in front of everyone. Now it's my turn." I need to explain myself, to make him understand why I did what I did. Why I ended things the way I did. He deserves that much, at least. And I deserve to be listened.

"I don't want to hear it, Valentini." He says harsh. Already trying to send me away. He just had a bad session on the simulator which made him even more nervous, I'm not lucky at all.