Here After!

19. A Fresh Resolve

Anu

After breakfast, I prepared some coffee for myself while Giri went out to buy some necessities. I took my coffee and settled into my new favorite spot in the house: the steps leading to the terrace on the balcony. It's a secluded corner that often goes unnoticed because of the room and the terrace garden. Hidden by blooming plant climbers, it felt like a secret sanctuary.

Giri's mom had shown me this place. Originally, the garden belonged to Gayu, but now it was Giri's favorite spot. He cherished it so much that he rarely let anyone else use it. He even set up a small room here, furnished with just the basics: a small bed spread on the floor, a table, and a chair.

As I sipped my coffee, my mind wandered back to my father's words from our earlier phone call. "Anu, I know you wouldn't have left without a good reason. I didn't want to pressure you at the time, so I stayed quiet. But I know my child very well. Unless it's something serious, you wouldn't avoid your family, especially on an occasion like this. Whatever it is, solve it quickly, and don't give anyone a hard time. I know you won't do that. Get things back to normal, Anu. Okay?"

I had only responded with a noncommittal "hmm," but I knew he was right. My father could read me like an open book, and he was certain about his assumptions.

I need to focus on us. I can't spoil Giri's life because of my overthinking. I can't assume that I'm not good enough for him without even trying. I have to put in the effort to work on our relationship. He's told me multiple times, but why do I keep coming back to the same doubts?

First, I need to stop seeing him as a stranger. He's not a stranger anymore. I've known him for the past three months, and we've become close over the last ten days. We'll continue to be together. This isn't a short-term love affair; he's my life partner, my husband. I have to include him in my thoughts and my life. Only then will my insecurities start to fade.

He's already taken the first step, and I have taken it too. But I reverted back because of some mere comments from people who mean nothing to me.

If he thought I wasn't good enough, he wouldn't have made the effort. I truly enjoyed our time together. It was new to me, but I never felt nervous or uncomfortable. I was genuinely happy when I was with him, and I made sure he knew that. Thinking about that morning, I still feel something inside me that I can't quite explain. Is this the "butterflies in the stomach" feeling people talk about?

Oh God, what am I even thinking? Anu, back to where we were. I need to stay focused.

My thoughts were interrupted when Giri returned, carrying a few shopping bags. He quietly filled the fridge with soft drinks and fruits and set out some snacks. After giving me a brief smile, he went into the room, leaving an awkward silence between us.

I returned to the kitchen and arranged the groceries. After a few minutes, I decided to go to the room as well. Giri had already changed into his comfortable clothes and was lying on the bed, scrolling through his phone.

Not knowing what to do, I stood there for a moment, feeling uncertain. Eventually, I left the room and went to the drawing-room, occupying the sofa. The distance between us felt more than physical, and I knew I had to find a way to bridge it.

Sitting on the sofa in the drawing room, I tried to gather my thoughts. The silence between us weighed heavily, and I knew I needed to break it somehow. Giri seemed absorbed in his phone, and I felt a pang of uncertainty about how to approach him.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to initiate a conversation and I struggled to find the right words. "Listen, Giri," I started hesitantly, "about earlier... I'm sorry if I said anything that upset you. I didn't mean to..."

He interrupted gently, "It's okay, Anu. Don't worry about it."

I felt a mix of relief and guilt. "I just want us to be okay," I admitted softly.

Giri put his phone down and looked at me, his expression serious yet kind. "We will be, Anu. We just need to give it time." His words reassured me, and I nodded, feeling a small sense of comfort settle between us. "Yeah, you're right," I replied, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders.

We sat in companionable silence for a while longer, each lost in our own thoughts. Slowly, the tension dissipated, replaced by a tentative sense of peace. I found myself lying on the bed, lost in thoughts and uncertainty.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was enveloped in Giri's embrace. My hand tightly gripped his shirt, while my other hand rested over him, and my leg was draped across his. His shoulder served as my pillow, and he was sleeping peacefully, one arm wrapped around me protectively, while the other cradled his head.

At that moment, despite everything we were grappling with, I felt a profound sense of closeness and comfort. The warmth of his embrace and the gentle rise and fall of his breathing calmed my restless thoughts. I felt like this was exactly what I had missed yesterday—a moment of deep connection and comfort. I closed my eyes once more, savoring the quiet intimacy of our shared space. Snuggling closer to him, I tightened my hold slightly, seeking solace in his presence.

Suddenly, I felt his hand gently patting my head, a tender gesture that spoke volumes more than words could express. It was a reassuring touch, filled with understanding and warmth. I closed my eyes again, allowing myself to fully embrace the tranquility of the moment, feeling safe and cherished in his arms.