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03 | i miss you, i'm sorry

Quinn

"When did you get here and why didn't you call me?" I exclaim, putting my bags down and going to hug him in the tightest hug ever. I missed Gus so much, and this is perfect because I was planning on calling him after I got back home anyways.

"Just wanted to stop by but wanted to pick something up for you before I came over," Gus said before helping me with my bags and putting them in the car. "Do you need a ride back or did you rent a car?" I ask just to be nice.

"I Ubered here so a ride would be nice," Gus smiles at me before we get in the car and I hook up my phone to the bluetooth as we ride home.

"Shut up, I love this song." I go to turn up the speaker and roll the windows down. "Can never go wrong with some Gracie Abrams." Now pause. I didn't think Gus knew anything about Gracie Abrams but here we are.

Now that I think about it, I don't think I know a lot about Gus at all. We don't really have those types of conversations you know? The only thing I know is that we only share one liked movie, American Physco, and that's only because I put him onto it.

But I have bad memories whenever I watch that movie because of a certain 6 '2 with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Even though he was a little messed up in the head and crazy, he was my crazy.

He helped me through so much when a certain girl told me to come with her to the Outer Banks and helped me make it my new home before all the shit went down. I told myself that I wouldn't think about my past anymore, but they have helped me through so much.

I can't help but feel grateful for what happened all that time ago. Even Zach and Genevieve don't know where I used to live before and who I was dating and all the jazz, and they won't ever will.

Rafe Cameron is dead to me. Literally and figuratively, but a part of me is getting paranoid that I keep seeing him in the shadows but whenever I look, it's like he was never there in the first place.

Sometimes I do wonder what my life would have been like if I didn't leave and help them instead, but I guess we will never know- not that I want to know anyways. I don't register that I have zoned out until I hear a car honking at me and Gus shaking me behind the wheel.

"What happened? Are you okay?" I hear Gus ask me, but I don't answer, instead I just turn down the music and continue my drive home in silence. I didn't think I would space out like that thinking of the one thing I said I wouldn't.

Thankfully, Gus helps me unload all the groceries into the house, just in time as well because Zach and Genevieve just got back from probably the beach. "Would you look at that," Genevieve exclaims, "Gangs all back together."

"Quinn, you're zoning out again." Gus snaps his fingers in front of my face, snapping me back into reality. "Thanks. Yup gang's all here," I laugh kinda awkwardly.

Reminds me of my old 'gang' I had. With Sofia, JJ, and Rafe. I can't let the memories invade my head. I'm already not in a good state of mind right now and I don't need to make it worse for myself.

𓇼𓇼𓇼𓇼

I'm in a daze by the time I go to bed. I'm doing everything on autopilot and feel like a zombie. Maybe I need to go back just one more time to stop whatever I'm feeling right now. I don't even go to bed because I've been tossing and turning all night.