Multiple Ferrets Are a Business

DISCLAIMER & AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I know absolutely nothing about ferrets nor their intelligence. For the purpose of this work, they are basically brilliant noodle mammals with a protective side.

This was based on a discord conversation about Tim being adopted by Ferrets.

I would like to thank @Ghostdoodlen (my amazing, artistic, hysterical, rizz-embodied online wife) for such a. . . riveting conversation that led to this as well as the Maribat? Get in! Discord server for bringing us all together and informing me that in fact, multiple ferrets are called a business.

Enjoy!

***

Marinette sits in the parlour of Wayne Manor, beaming as Damian holds up the long, noodle-like creature under its arms. The Wayne boy's eyes are wide with awe as a rare smile graces his lips.

"Habibti. . . did you really –"

"I did. His name is 'BatFerret,'" Marinette's smile grows impossibly wider as the multicoloured ferret squirms in Damian's hold, its elongated body attempting to curl into a more comfortable position, to which the youngest Robin happily obliges by pulling the mammal into his lap.

Damian huffs and raises an exasperated brow at his girlfriend.

"Really? BatFerret? "

"You're the one who named your cow 'BatCow.' And like BatCow, he's got his own fur-mask that looks vaguely like the bat symbol," Marinette points out with a smirk, eyeing the darker fur that surrounds BatFerrert's beady eyes. "And unlike BatCow, ferrets can be trained almost as well as dogs, so you should be able to allow him free reign of the house like Alfred the Cat."

Damian blinks at Marinette, not having been aware of the high-intelligence of ferrets. This new information sparks an idea in his mind that pulls a dark smile across the young Wayne's lips as he considers the mammal in his lap with renewed interest.

Marinette sees this and narrows her eyes at her boyfriend.

"I know that look. What are you scheming?"

Damian returns her smirk in response.

"I am merely admiring the potential of our new pet."

Marinette flushes softly at Damian's casual use of the term 'our' but maintains her sceptical consideration.

"I know you, mon amour, and like I said, I know that look. What sort of chaos are you planning?"

Damian shakes his head before placing a soft kiss on Marinette's forehead, his expression gentle as he pointedly ignores her question. Instead, he pets his new furry companion currently curled up in his lap, the sensation relaxing him.

"Thank you again, Habibti. You are truly an Angel."

It takes two weeks to train BatFerret and the results are greater than Damian could have predicted. Marinette had been woefully underplaying the intelligence of ferrets.

In two weeks, BatFerret has proven himself not only a wonderful pet and addition to the family, but also an effective partner in crime, able to complete tasks swiftly and elusively. He is an exemplary ally in regards to antagonising Damian's brothers whenever the young man feels slighted. The most wonderful part is that none of the fallout is traceable to Damian himself, leaving his family in a constant state of confusion and panic, throwing blame around while Damian maintains an alibi.