~•just a week without the blood•~ [Hyunlix]

Day 1// Let me glue those broken pieces together

Drag drag drag the blade further, slip it into the layers of his skin, thighs such a milky white, covered in such a crimson red. Tap tap tap, the red liquid drips onto the black marbled floor, painting the boring color such a beautiful shine. The liquid rolls into the grooves of the ground, slipping it's way to the deepest point through the filled cement, painting it once again.

Deeper, the blade should be felt in the smallest bits of veins and flesh in his skin, slowly but surely ripping it apart with a slice. Faster, slower, feel the pain, press it down on the milky thighs, hold it, move it, mark the once pale skin a beautiful red, lift it up. Change positions, press it down, move the blade, let it hurt. Let it drip. Let it shine. Let it paint the boring floor such a gorgeous crimson color.

Feel the metal rip apart his skin, press it down, press it deeper. Let it sting, let it burn, ignore the sensation and continue. Hold it, move it, rip it, change. Hold it, move it, rip it, change. Hold it, move it, rip it, change. Hold it, move it, rip it, change. Hold it, move it, rip it, change. Hold it, move it, rip it, change.

Voices ringing through the deepest part of his brain, alerting a sense of movement. Drop the metal in the small and beautiful box, take a white rolled up bandage and let it move. His fingers touching each rip, each slit, each trophy. Lay the bandage on the skin, roll it down, roll it around, roll it up. Arms moving so fast, let it burn, let it rip, let the material scratch the already abused skin, rub it on, let it hurt, let it rip off the small layer of dried blood, let it sting.

Taking tape, ripping it off like the small piece of metal did in his skin, sticking it to the bandage, holding it still. Another piece, and another one to be sure, before putting it back in the small box, slamming it shut. Slam it...

His hands fastly move upward, skin clapping heard, slam it, slam it, slam it. Let the red liquid paint the white bandage, spreading around like food coloring in water. It makes tiny figures, oh so tiny, oh so need more.

Slam it down, fists clenched, slam it down again. Flat hands, slam it down, fists, slam it down. Feel the once ripped skin reopen, feel the dried blood on top rip apart, feel it sting.

"Felix." A voice rang through his skull, his head snaps up, his eyes meet his own. He stares into the dark chocolate brown orbs, his gaze saying enough of how he hates it. It, it it.

It is the voices. It is his voice. It is his thoughts. It is his gaze. It is his head. It is his mind. It is his thinking. It is his brain. It is the memories. It is his hands. It is his thighs. It is his arms. It is his movements. It is his feelings. It is the hate. It is his rage. It is his pain. It is his insides. It is his emotions. It is his everything. It is his nothing. It is him. It is Felix, Lee Felix.

"Felix. I know you're in here, open up." 

Open up. Open the door. Open the feelings, open the pain, open the emotions.

Open up.

Let his small feet dance through the red liquid, shuffling closer to the door. Twist the lock, hear a klick, a relieved sigh from the other side, the metal handle peeping as he pushed it down. The door slowly opens, two arms wrap steady around his waist, pulling him closer to the male in front of him. One tear, two tears, drop drop on the shoulder, let them flow.

"God angel... come here." The voice spoke, a small sniffle before obeying. Letting his thighs wrap around the slim dancers waist, his head drop on their shoulder, his tears flowing down their neck.

"Jinnie's here... It's all okay." Jinnie's here. He's always been here. He's always cared. He's always looked out. He's always brought food when he didn't eat. He's always put blankets around him when he was scared.

He and He.

Jinnie and Angel.

Jinnie and Lixie.

Jinnie and Baby.

Jinnie and Love.

Jinnie and Sweetheart.

Jinnie and Freckles.

Jinnie and Prince.

Always Jinnie and his problematic Lixie.

"Can we make a deal my baby?" Jinnie whispers in his ear, the boy nodding quietly, letting his tears flow down his cheeks like the red liquid did on his thighs. "How about, just for one week, you take a break. Take a break from... the blood. Just a week. Any time you feel like doing it, you come to Jinnie. How does that sound?" Jinnie asks, the male in his arms frowning.

"I... I can't." Finally his voice works for the first time in days, his low and deep voice. The voice that couldn't work when any of the members asked something, when he had to speak, when he had to sing.

Only when to say he couldn't take a break from the blood.

Always Jinnie and his problematic Lixie.

"I feel broken... I wanna break my skin, let everything flow out, i'm already broken anyways..."

"Then let me fix those pieces baby. I'll glue them together with love. Cuddles and affection, hugs, kisses, you name it. Please?"

"I'll try..."

"Trying is worth more than doing love."