~•just a week without the blood•~ [Hyunlix]

Day 4//If you love me show me you hate me

Day 4 was like a hell. Satan's words repeating in Felix's mind, overtaking the God he always believed in, piercing through his skull. Hyunjin couldn't leave his side, his arms wrapped around his waist for the whole 24 hours, not daring to let his hands slide off.

Every time Felix's feet shuffled towards the bathroom, or his voice begged for Hyunjin to let him go, just this once, the older knew the creature in Freckles' head was winning.

It was slowly making its way to the deepest part to make a nest there, duplicating itself thousands of times to lett all the small monsters travel around Felix's body, owning his movements.

"Jinnie just let me go..." Freckles whispered out, his voice begging Hyunjin to leave him in so many different languages, yet only one. "One week Love. You're almost there, don't mess it up now hm?" Hyunjin speaks softly and caring, his tone soothing the mental wounds in Felix's head, from the creature wanting to take him over.

"I'm not gonna do that. I just need space right now." Felix fights back, clearly getting more annoyed as the seconds pass by. Hyunjin takes a deep breaths and sighs it out again, shaking his head. "Why are you being so annoying about it. I know i'm a fucking freak, a dissapointment, a failure, a fucking asshole, but why would you care Hyunjin? Why do you care?" Felix asks, his voice begging for so many questions, yet telling the answers already.

"I care about you Love, and I won't let you do that to yourself again. Ever." Hyunjin's voice is stern and cold, yet so heartwarming and comforting. Felix dryly chuckles and slaps Hyjnjin's hand away from his waist, turning his head to the other side. "You said one week. Not forever." He speaks up again, arms crossed, tears filling his eyes. "We'll work on it." The older sighs, the air out of his mouth going to pull at Felix's tears, letting them flow and flow, all over his cheeks.

"I hate you."

"I love you. What now?" Hyunjin fights back immediately, Felix's legs working faster than his mind ever could, dragging him up from the couch. His arms are still crossed, his shoulders carrying a heavy weight.

"I hate you." 

No I don't

"I fucking hate you."

I fucking don't.

"Then hate me Lix! Hate me all you want! Because that's easy huh? Saying you hate me so oh-damn much but still saying you don't just a day ago! It's easy huh?! For you it must be. Because you're not worrying about someone possibly killing themself every, fucking, single, day." Hyunjin's voice comes at full speed towards Felix, slicing it's way directly into his heart. He feels it ache and throb, his mouth leaving a soft sob.

"You're not worrying about me." Felix says, his voice trying it's best not to hurt Hyunjin's heart just like it was done to his, but failed even though.

"Then why the fuck do I do this for you?! Why do I care? Why do I worry? Why do I kiss you, and cuddle you, and give you affection as much as I can?! Why Lix?! Why would I do such a things if I don't worry?!" Hyunjin snaps, his voice stern and angry, his legs making their way to Felix, who stood still, not daring to move, the harsh words making his mind float.

"Is it fun to hurt me Lix?! Is it fun?!" The older snaps once again, this time right behind Felix. The boy lifts his shoulders and continues to sob, sob sob sob.

"ANSWER ME! IS IT FUN?! IS IT FUN TO LET YOURSELF BLEED SO MUCH UNTIL YOU FUCKING PASS OUT FOR ME TO FIND YOU LIKE THAT?! IS IT FUN LIX?!" Hyunjin asks again, multiple voices filling the room by now, multiple arms and hands pulling both Felix and Hyunjin, but neither of them giving in.

"IF I HURT YOU THIS MUCH THEN STOP CARING!"

Don't stop please

My voice is saying things my mind doesn't want

"IF I HURT YOU THIS MUCH THEN LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME FUCKING DIE WHEN I WANT TO! Just, just don't care about me.... if you don't care then I can't hurt you Jinnie... I don't want to hurt you..." Felix's broken voice says before his knees buckle, his body falling to the ground like a feather. The arms and hands keep him up just a little bit, and the hands tugging at Hyunjin's arm get swatted away by the older himself, hurrying to the screaming boy.

The creatures in Felix's brain moving faster than light in his body, screaming and kicking to let the pain go away. Hyunjin's long and slender arms wrap around Felix's body like a little present, holding him tight against his body. The boy keeps screaming and kicking, letting out any and every pain he was feeling.

"Let it all out Love, let it go." Hyunjin whispers in the younger's ear, his voice soothing his brain and pain just a little. The older dancer keeps his lips and nose against Feli 's temple, kissing it here and there. "Shh... Jinnie's here." Hyunjin again whispers, rocking both of their bodies from side to side. He makes sure Felix doesn't hurt himself in the process and puts his knee up behind his back, wrapping one arm around his shoulders as the other went around his waist, pressing their bodies as close as possible.

"I love you my Love... I know you don't hate me, I know it's all the pain taking over. Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."