Holding On To Life

Home Or Is It

I quickly dash out the doors and around the corner before they can see me cry. I run home crying, gasping for air as I can't seem to breathe hugging my sides. When I get home I throw down my backpack and slam the door shut, I lean against it then slowly sink to my knees on hand covering my mouth the other still hugging my side.

After about 5 minutes I get up and slowly, and steadly walk to the bathroom using my hand to keep me from falling down. Its hard for me to see and think as my eyes are burning and fogged up and as my head is throbbing with pain from crying.

I wipe my face with my sleeve and enter the bathroom. I place both my hands on the sink and look down at them then up at myself in the mirror. I look horrible my face is red and puffy, I have a small cut above my eyebrow and a bruise on my cheek just below my eye. I might have a black eye tomorrow.

I stop for a second then reach down into my pocket and pull out the blade I took from a sharpener at my school. I sit down and lean against the wall and pull my sleeves up and stare at my scars.

I take the blade and touch the edge to my skin then I add pressure and slowly pull it across my arm. After about 10 cuts I sit back and let out a little sigh of relief as I watch the blood trickle down my arm.

When it gets down to my hand I stand up and turn on the faucet then run my arm under it, washing away the blood then I dry my arm and dab the cuts to stop the bleeding.

When my dad gets home he looks pissed off so I choose to keep my distance. I watch as he goes to the fridge and grabs a beer then a bottle of wine. I watch as he looks between both bottles, closing the fridge behind him with his foot.

As I walk upstairs to my bedroom I can hear the TV turn on in the living room. I enter my quiet, isolated, dark room and lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. Right when I was about to go to sleep. I hear my dad yell my name. I jog down the stairs and around the corner to see my dad and the beer and wine bottle both empty. He's drunk. I can tell.

He looks at me then tells me to clean up the mess he made, do the dishes, and wash the cloths. I look up at him then down and nod, "mmh hmm" I mumble. I look up to see his reaction. He's gritting his teeth, I'm confuzzed did I say something to set him off. Then as I turn to go do as he asked I see something move in the corner of my eye. It was my dad he threw the beer bottle at my head. Terrified and full of adrenaline I luckely ducked in time.

But I was to late by the time I got up he was already at my side with a hand full of my hair and a empty beer bottle in the other. As he was dragging me stomping away to the laundry room he was yelling at me I could barely tell what he was saying his words were so slurred and bled together. I think he was saying something about my attitude. As he dragged me through the kitchen and into the laundry room I kept on trying to fight back, trying to brake his grip. When we got to the laundry room he threw me into the corner, I skidded across the floor and hit the wall with my head.

Everything went black as I curled into a ball afraid of what may come next. I was to afriad to open my eyes. Pain was running through my body. In some places the pain was worse than others. I can remember a trickling sensation run from some of the places where the pain was at its worse. Blood. I'm sure of it.

When it was all over I could barely stand up I pratically crawled up the stairs, dragging my body behind me like a zombie. I dragged myself into the bathroom and slowly and carfully took off my cloths. I looked in the mirror. Ugh! I looked horrible, Heck, I looked wreched.

I turned on the shower to a cool temperature and stepped in. The cool water felt nice on my hot burning skin but also stung as I watched as blood drizzled down my body and into the drain.

That night I could barely sleep it was hard and almost impossible to get comfortable when you're aching and hurting all over. And the few hours I did get sleep were basically dreamless nightmares.

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Plz comment, I'm curious to hear what you thought of this chapter and I'm curious if you have any ideas to help me.